


This Was Always Home

by HLBailey



Category: Faking It (TV 2014)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 15:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 83,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5876917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HLBailey/pseuds/HLBailey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been about ten years since they all graduated from Hester. What's happened in the last ten years for each of them? How has life changed for them, especially Amy? Can she overcome the worst year of her life in order to move forward, and have a fulfilling life and future?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There is something about being at the beach that makes me feel at ease. I've always loved the water. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore, coupled with a summer breeze can clear my mind, and remind me, at least in this moment, that everything is okay. It's been eleven years since all the bullshit drama that came with faking a lesbian relationship with my best friend, and nine years since we all graduated high school. I always thought that all of us would get out of Austin, especially me since I was never crazy about the place while I was in high school. The thought never crossed my mind that we would all stay, or if we did leave that we would somehow find our way back. That this was always home. I'm sitting here on the beach thinking of my family, the old gang from Hester with a few new additions. I can't believe that we all stayed in Austin, well for the most part.

 

Liam moved off to New York after graduating from UT-Austin to study at NYU. After he graduated from NYU he moved back to Austin, but he didn't come home alone. He came back with his fiancé, Ashley, some heiress to a Vegas real estate empire. She is a total bitch, but I kind of respect her. Because of her, Liam is nothing like the douchebag he was in high school. I suspect his balls are kept in a small mason jar that sits on the mantle as decor when they are home, but stowed away in Ashley's purse for safe keeping when they aren't. He has his own art gallery in Austin, but is also a board member for his dad's, no granddad's, oh, who the fuck knows, company Skwerkel.

 

And then there is Reagan. She decided to enroll at Austin Community College to study music. She wound up transferring to Belmont University in Nashville to study music business and recording. After three years in Nashville, she moved to Los Angeles with her girlfriend Jordan. After a year in LA, Reagan popped the question, and her and Jordan started the wedding planning. Two weeks before the wedding, she came home to find Jordan in their bed with a man that Jordan worked with. This led to Reagan making an unplanned move back to Austin, where we all helped her pick up the pieces. Since she has been back in Austin she has been scouting talent, working as a DJ, and trying to start her own record label. She's been back for about a year and half now, and judging by the way she looks at Sara, she has completely moved on from that disaster that was Jordan. Sara is an ER resident at University Medical Center Brackenridge in Austin. She would say that there is nothing going on between her and Reagan, but with the way she looks at Reagan, I'm certain there are real feelings there, regardless if anything has happened between them.

 

Shane Harvey. Shane Motherfucking Harvey. Shane went to UT-Austin for both undergrad and grad school. He got degrees in marketing and public relations, and is currently working for one of the largest entertainment firms in Austin. He quickly rose through the ranks, and is currently director of marketing and public relations at his company. He is still the same old Shane, and I honestly am so blessed to have him in my life. He's here with Matthew, his off and on boyfriend for the past three years. Matthew manages one the best night clubs in Austin for live entertainment. I think Shane has finally met his soulmate in Matthew, and we are all patiently waiting for Shane to go full diva mode and announce their engagement, and start the wedding planning.

 

My sister Lauren and I both went to UT-Austin. She double-majored in government & American studies, and I was content to just stick with radio/television/film as a major. But after my mom's colo-rectal cancer scare, I decided to add pre-med and double major like Lauren. During our senior year, mom and Bruce (who somehow seemed to stay pretty close friends after the divorce) purchased a house close to campus for Lauren and I. I guess it was sort of a graduation, we are happy you guys got into law/medical school present, and we are so ready for you to leave the nest. After graduation, she enrolled in law school at UT while I started medical school there. That's where I met Sara, and in two days we will both be second year emergency medicine residents at UMC Brackenridge. Lauren is an assistant district attorney in Austin. She's even more of a hard ass now than she was in high school, except now she carries a badge and a gun. She's currently engaged to another Austin attorney, Jonathan. Those two are so stupid in love with one another, but their arguments are so intense it's like watching Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson in the court room scene from A Few Good Men. It is very entertaining. Actually it is fucking hilarious! 

 

"Amy." I turn when I hear my name being called in the distance, breaking me from my thoughts. I look back behind me to see Lauren approaching from the beach house. "Amy, what are doing out here by yourself?" she asks as she plops down in the sand next to me.

 

"I'm just taking in the sunset since it's our last night here."

 

"Yeah, well you're thinking so hard I can hear the damn wheels turning back in the house. C'mon, we're all waiting for you so we can go to dinner."

 

"All," I say, the hurt evident in my eyes.

 

"Amy, I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

 

"Lauren, it's okay. I mean it's been a year now and-"

 

"Amy I know, but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't hurt."

 

I nod, looking out at the ocean, and I feel tears hanging in my eyes. Lauren slides closer to me nd drapes her arm over my shoulder. So much has changed over the years between us, especially the last year. Lauren has been my rock, and with help from Shane, Reagan, and Sara, I have kept my sanity, and gotten through my first year as an ER resident. I know that without them, especially Lauren, I wouldn't be sitting here right now after the most difficult year of my life.

 

"Amy, I love you. We all love you, and it's time to start moving forward from all of this."

 

"All," I whisper and my yes couldn't hold the tears any longer, flooding down my cheeks.

 

"She's gone Lauren. Karma is gone!"


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner last night wasn't to bad. The food was amazing, but I was pretty reserved and didn't say much. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, and as long as the waiter kept my wine glass full, I wasn't going to complain. And I didn't, until Lauren had me cut off around glass number five. Before I could make an ass of myself, Reagan and Sara drug me out of there, and took me back to the beach house to sleep it off.

 

The drive back to Austin this morning was complete shit because of my massive headache and uneasy stomach. I was also cramped up in the back seat of Shane's car listening to him and Matthew switch between fighting and bickering to lovey-dovey horse shit the entire way home. When we finally got to the house, everyone seemed to disappear. Shane left with Matthew and Lauren left with Jonathan, leaving Sara and I on grocery duty. We had been gone for a week and there wasn't anything edible in the house. The past few years have been pretty good having these guys as roommates, Shane, Sara, and of course Lauren. I have mentioned to Lauren several times that we should convert the basement into an actual living space, and that we could rent it out to Reagan. As always Lauren disagrees, saying that if we wait long enough that Reagan and Sara will finally hook-up and Reagan will move into her bedroom.

 

"Hey Amy, you ready to go?" Sara calls from downstairs at the front door.

 

"Yeah, coming," I replied grabbing my bag and heading downstairs. As I climbed into Sara's Jeep she told me that we would stop by the farmer's market before we went to grocery store. She's a bit of a health nut, and a triathlete, so my eating habits have significantly improved over the years, but I absolutely refuse to give up donuts. She also pulled me into the triathlon world with her, and we try to do at least two races each year, but our work schedules make it difficult to train and race. I think Reagan loves the fact that she is a triathlete because after the first race we finished together during our last semester of medical school she told her that triathlon has definitely done her body good.

 

We finally arrived at the farmer's market and I noticed that it seemed to be slowing down since it was late in the afternoon. I was thankful for that because I really don't like being here. We made our way through, picked up everything Sara wanted, and we were making our way back to her Jeep when someone bumped into me, dropping a box of goods all over the ground around us. I immediately bent down to help pick up the mess when a voice spoke.

 

"I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention and - Amy? Oh my goodness, it is you." a woman says as she wraps me up in a tremendous hug making it hard to breathe. The moment I heard my name I looked up and made eye contact with none other than Molly Ashcroft. I was stunned. I haven't seen Molly since right after Christmas.

 

"Hi Molly," I finally spoke.

 

"Amy you look so good, how have you been? And who might this be?" she asked excitedly when she saw Sara.

"I've been staying busy at the hospital," I replied. I turned to look at Sara, "Sara this is Molly." Sara extended her hand to Molly, but Molly wrapped her up in a hug too. After the hug Molly looked at both of us and said, "Us Ashcroft's would rather hug than shake hands."

As soon as Molly spoke her last name I turned to Sara and she looked at me with one of the biggest "Oh Shit" looks I have ever seen.

 

"Molly it was so good to meet you, but if you two would excuse me, I need to return a call to the hospital," Sara said. I knew she was lying because we didn't have any hospital worries until 7am Monday morning, but this was her way of saying I know this is Karma's mom and I'm giving you two a chance to catch up.

"Sara it was nice meeting you," Molly told her as she gave her another hug. After Sara had gotten out of ear-shot of us Molly spoke again.

 

"Amy, I have missed you so much. I wish you would come visit Lucas and I every once in awhile."

 

"I've missed you guys too, it's just...it's just...hard," I spoke trying not cry.

 

"I know sweetie, but please don't ever forget that you are family too, and we would love to be a part of your life. I nodded still holding back tears. It was clear at this point that neither of us really knew what to say. Before I realized it, I had opened my big mouth again.

 

"How is she? How is Karma doing?" I asked Molly. She looked away briefly before she looked back at me with tears forming in her eyes.

 

"Amy I don't really know. After she left last June we had pretty regular contact, and around November she started becoming more distant. We didn't talk as often. I thought for sure she would be home for Christmas, but she didn't show. The last time we spoke I could tell that she really wasn't her self, and this was back in April. In the last four months we haven't heard a word from her. I keep track of her touring schedule, and all the small venues she's been in, but she has completely shut us out. I've noticed the past couple of months she is rarely performing, or if she is it's not advertised." At this point tears started falling down both of our cheeks. "She stopped by for a bit as her group passed through town. This was back in November. She was with some guy named Tyler, and I really did not like the aura I felt from him. I don't know if they were dating or not, but he just did not seem like a good person at all. Short-tempered, rude, and at dinner he had a bit to much to drink, and lashed out at all of us. Karma looked like she was a bit scared of him. He just really seemed like bad news, but Karma was his biggest defender." At this point all I could do was put my arms around Molly and we held each other as we both cried.

 

"Amy, I miss her so much," Molly spoke through sobs.

 

"I know Molly, I miss her too. Are you going to be okay?" Molly didn't speak, but she nodded. "I need to get going. It was really nice to see you Molly."

 

"It was so nice to see you too Amy." She gave me another hug, and we both said our goodbyes. I made it to the parking lot and climbed into Sara's jeep.

 

"Are you okay?" Sara asked as we pulled out of the lot. I didn't know what to say so I just nodded. We finished our shopping and were on the way home when I told Sara I needed liquor. She started protesting saying it wasn't a good idea, but I told her she could stop or I would just come back later. She didn't say anything after that, but we did stop at a liquor store. I went in alone, picked up some necessities, and as I was loading several bottles of booze in the Jeep she finally speaks.

 

"What the fuck Amy? I know what you are thinking and you are out of your damn mind if you think I am going to let you get shit-faced drunk in order to deal with all of this. You went down this road before remember? It can't-"

 

"It won't happen again," I said, cutting her off. "I just want to get shitty tonight, sleep it off tomorrow, and then bury myself in work on Monday. That's all. Just one night to drink to forget this pain, this emptiness. It's just one night, I promise," I said to a pissed off and concerned Sara. She didn't say anything else. We got to the house, and got all the groceries unpacked and put away. I went to take a quick shower, and when I returned Reagan was there. I went directly to the kitchen for tequila. I grabbed three shot glasses thinking that if I got them drunk they would stay off my ass about all of this. I know that Sara would of told Reagan about seeing Molly. Reagan and Sara both walked into the kitchen, and I expected Reagan to go all gung-ho on my ass, but she just walked up to the counter grabbed a shot, held it up and said,"Here's to a fun night!" We toasted, took the shot, and Reagan called for another. For the rest of the night we kept drinking and laughing, and I was able to forget about her, and how much missing her still kills me.

 

I woke up the next morning with a hangover from hell. My head was killing me and all I could hear was screaming and arguing downstairs. Lauren was home and she was bitching everyone out. I could hear her voice getting closer so I just buried myself in my pillows and duvet. She flung my bedroom door open and immediately began her verbal barrage.

 

"Amy what the fuck is wrong with you? You can't do this shit every time something happens that you don't like."

 

"Go away and leave me alone Lauren. I'm not in the mood for your shit today."

 

"Look here asshole, you are going to get yourself up and out of bed. You have fifteen minutes to meet me at the front door. We are going to the gym so you can release this pent up anger on someone in the ring or at the very least a bag."

 

"I'm not going anywhere. Go away."

 

"If you are not dressed and ready to go in fifteen minutes, I'm going to come back in here, pretend your bedroom is the ring, and I'm going to Beat. Your. Ass!" she commanded as she jerked my duvet from me and the bed. " Fifteen minutes Raudenfeld!" As Lauren stormed away she stopped right outside my door to continue her verbal assault on Reagan and Sara, who both had come upstairs.

"I can't believe that you two idiots not only allowed this shit to happen, but you participated," Lauren barked at Reagan and Sara. Neither of them said anything, and they went down the hall to Sara's room as Lauren made her way back downstairs. I rolled out of bed, threw on some workout gear, and made my way downstairs. On the ride to the gym, neither Lauren or I spoke. I felt like shit, but she was right. I just needed to pull the gloves on and vent my frustrations on the bag. Lauren started dragging me to the gym with her when she started at the district attorney's office. I must admit that it was a lot of fun. We learned all different types of self-defense, and we both became pretty good. It felt good knowing that in a hairy situation, I would have the ability to at least try and protect myself. After a couple of hours at the gym we made our way home. The ride home was just as silent as the ride to the gym. When we pulled into the driveway I finally spoke.

"Lauren I'm sorry. And thank you. Thank you for being you." She didn't say anything, only nodding. I went to get out of the car when she finally spoke up.

 

"Amy, I don't know what happened that last night that Karma was here, or if anything happened at all, but you can't continue to do this to yourself. Just know that I love you, and I will always be here for you." There was a comfortable silence for a couple of beats, before she spoke again. "C'mon, let's get in there and get dinner started." Dinner was a lot of fun. Shane was back and to see and hear him and Lauren go back and forth with their playful banter made me smile. At times I would look over at Reagan and Sara, and it seemed like they were in their own little bubble. I made a mental note to ask both of them if there was anything going on because the last time it came up a few months ago, they had both said no. I kind of hope they are romantically involved. They would make a good looking couple. 

 

After dinner, I went outside and sat on the porch, finding myself lost in my thoughts and memories of Karma. I don't know how long I had been sitting here when I heard the door shut behind me. As I turn and look up I see Reagan take a seat next me. After a few minutes of silence, I spoke up.

 

"So."

 

"Sooo," Reagan replied.

 

"You and Sara," I smirk at her.

 

"What about me and Sara? she says with a blank expression on her face. 

 

"Are you two-" and before I could finish she hastily replies.

 

"Nope! But do you want to tell me what the hell is going on in that head of yours?" says Reagan. I didn't even acknowledge that she had said anything, and then she spoke again. "Look Amy, I don't know what happened between you two her last night in Austin, or if anything happened at all, but I know that you haven't talked to anyone about it. It might help if you sit down and talk it out with someone. Me, Sara, Lauren. Hell, a counselor or therapist. I just think it would help you more than you realize at this point." We sat there again in silence. I debated on whether or not I should tell Reagan what really happened, but before I could get the courage to speak up she stood up and spoke first. "Well I'm headed home. See you later Amy."

 

"What, you aren't staying the night?" I asked mischievously. 

 

She spun around and kept walking, backwards to her SUV, as she called out, "Now Amy, why would I do that?" She gave me a wink, hopped in her SUV, and drove away. I so need to talk to Sara about this!


	3. Chapter 3

"OH. MY. GOD!" I say through heavy, labored breathing. Holy shit...I don't even know how I will get out of bed in the morning after all of that. My legs are like jello at this point. "Did that really just happen? Did we really just do that?" I say to the girl lying next to me. We are both sweaty messes, and I am still waiting on her to say something. "Hey! So what, you're just going to ignore me now?" I say as I look over at Sara, who was still trying to catch her breath. Once her breathing slowed back down to a normal pace, and with a big grin on her face, she finally looks over at me.

 

"Yes Amy, we really just did that. We just ran twelve miles," Sara says as she sits up slowly. "So, it looks like we are both ready to tackle that Halloween Half Marathon next Sunday."

 

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," I say sitting up next to her.

 

"Yeah, you were pretty easy to convince. I didn't know you would be so easy," she says through laughter.

 

"Please tell me you aren't planning on dressing us up in Halloween costumes. I mean, I love Halloween and all, but there is no way in hell I will be able to run 13.1 miles dressed as anything other than a runner."

 

"No. There will be enough costumed people there running with us. Not to mention all the zombies that will be chasing us on race day. We will definitely be going as runners." We sit there in the front yard for a few minutes in comfortable silence before Sara speaks again. "Hey Amy. I just want to tell you that I am so proud of you. These last three months, since we started our second year, you have worked so hard to turn things around. Everyone at work has noticed and been talking about how much better you are now than you were six months ago. I know it hasn't been easy for you, but I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you." 

 

I really didn't know what to say. I mean, I have been working hard to show my supervisors and colleagues that I am the best resident at UMC. My first year was a disaster, and I almost didn't make it through. So I said the only thing that made sense, "Thanks Sara, it means a lot." She smiled and gave me a nod. After a slight pause I spoke again. "So people at work are noticing me huh?"

 

"Mmmhmm, and one of them happens to be this really cute and super sweet surgical nurse," she says with a grin on her face.

 

"Is that so?"

 

"Yeah. You know Jamie right? The petite brunette with chocolate brown eyes...if you want I'll set you guys up," she says confidently.

 

"Sara, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea."

 

"C'mon Amy, it doesn't have to be anything more than one date. You need to get out there. You really haven't dated anyone since I met you and that was five years ago. If you want we can make it a double date."

 

"A double date? And who would be going on this double date?" 

 

"Well, you, Jamie, me, and - "

 

"Reagan?" I say as I nudge her with my shoulder. Before she could reply, we were both being showered with a continuous stream of cold water. We both scrambled to our feet, and I caught a glimpse of Reagan holding the water hose, and laughing her ass off at us. Before I could really process any of it, Sara had tackled Reagan, and they were both rolling around the yard fighting for the water hose. I didn't expect that, but Sara being able to take Reagan down didn't surprise me. She's a solid 5'8", 135lbs. (with long brown hair and hazel eyes), so she kind of makes Reagan look like a smurf when they stand next to each other. After about fifteen seconds, Sara is sitting on top of Reagan with the water hose showering Reagan's face. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying when I hear Lauren on the front porch.

 

"For crying out loud, would you cut that shit out lesbos. You don't want to scare the neighbors. Now get your asses inside. Lunch is ready." Lauren turns to go back in the house when I hear, "Jesus, it's like I have nothing but children living here." I turn back to Sara and Reagan to see Sara pulling Reagan to her feet, both of them dripping water.

 

"So are you guys dating or something?" I ask still catching my breathe from laughing at them.

 

"Nope!" says Reagan. "Or something!" says Sara in unison with Reagan. 

 

"Uh-huh. Well, Reagan are you going to be at the race Sunday?" I ask.

 

"I wish I could be, but I have a conference in Nashville. I'll leave Saturday and be back Wednesday." she replies. I look over to gauge Sara's reaction and she seems completely unfazed with the fact that Reagan won't be there. I swear those two really confuse the shit out me.

 

Sunday finally rolled around, and we ran in the Halloween Half Marathon. There were so many people racing in costumes. I saw Wonder Woman, Batman, Robin, Thing 1 & 2, "Macho Man" Randy Savage, all four ninja turtles, Gene Simmons, several clowns, and all the Disney Princesses. There were probably one hundred people dressed as zombies, and I'm pretty sure that I saw Elvis at the finish line. Sara was great. She stayed with me the whole race because she knew how nervous I was. We both crossed the finish line together with a decent time of two hours, nine minutes, and thirteen seconds. The gang was there to support us and we got tons of post-race pictures with everyone: Lauren, Jonathan, Shane, Matthew, even Liam and Ashley showed up. All in all it was a pretty good day, but I couldn't stop thinking about how much I wish Karma was here with us.

 

Reagan's POV

 

I really hate that I missed the race, but I really needed to come to this conference. I need to keep my professional network intact and possibly expand it. I am so close to being able to have my own record label, and I need these professional activities to help keep me at the top of my game. I got to Nashville Saturday night and went to a few bars with some old college friends. Sunday afternoon the conference opened with a couple of seminars, a trade show, and fancy dinner. The trade show was fun, but the constant buzzing of my phone kept me distracted. I was getting texts from everyone, all pictures from before, during, and after the race. I really wished I could have been there. I really miss everyone, but no one more than Sara. I really don't know what is going on between us, but it has been there for more than a year now. I think she is completely amazing, and I could really see myself with this girl, but after that fiasco with Jordan I'm still scared shitless to have anything serious with anyone. I mean we have known each other for a year and a half now, and neither one of us has made a move on the other one.

 

It's now Tuesday night, and I will be heading home to Austin tomorrow, but I have one more stop to make. I walk into this little dive bar that's off the beaten path. Old Man Joe's is a place I found my first year at Belmont, and I have always thought of it as home away from home. The owner, Joe, is a great guy and he was like a father to me when I was here for school, so I was excited to see him and catch up with him over one of his famous burger combo meals: double cheeseburger, fries, and a beer. As soon as I walk in I spot him behind the bar. I walk up to the bar and say, "Hey Old Man, what's a girl gotta do to get some service in this place?" An older man looking to be in his sixties, with graying hair, and a scruffy beard turns around and walks around the bar. He is towering over me, Joe has to be at least 6'4", with the biggest smile on his face.

 

"I swear the riff-raff that keeps coming in here keeps getting better looking," he says as he wraps me up in hug. "Hey Reagan."

 

"Hey Joe," I say returning his embrace.

 

"You want your usual?" he asks. I nod and he speaks again. "Our table is open. Why don't you go grab a seat, and I'll be right out." He turns and heads back to the kitchen behind the bar, and I make my way to our corner booth. A few minutes later he returns, taking a seat across from me facing the bar/kitchen. "So what have you been up to?" he asks.

 

"Just working and scouting talent. I'm close to being able to open my own label, just looking for that first artist to sign."

 

"I thought you found one?" he asks.

 

"I did, but she left Austin a little more than a year ago. She didn't say anything to anyone, she just left and made her way here to Nashville. She was great to work with, and she was a pretty good friend too." Joe just nods, acknowledging that he is listening to me.

 

"You know I've got a girl that starting working here about two months ago. She's very quiet and reserved, but occasionally I catch her singing when she thinks no one can hear her. That girl's voice can take your breath away. I've tried to get her to perform here, but I can't seem to talk her in to it."

 

"Well, she must be pretty amazing if you would ask her to perform, you don't just let anyone get up there on stage at Old Man Joe's." As I finish saying that I see his eyes trail off behind me, and his big grin returns.

 

"Speak of the devil," he says as he looks to his left, and I follow his eyes, to the young woman standing there with our order. Reagan I'd like you to meet-"

 

"Karma." "Reagan," we say in unison. I stand up to greet her as she places the food and beer on the table. As soon as her hands are free I wrap her in a hug, which is not common for us, but it is just so good to see her. As soon as she is engulfed in my hug I hear her whimper and she begins squirming away. Before I could ask her if she was okay, Joe speaks to her.

 

"How long?" he asks her with sad eyes. She looks down at the floor, nervously playing with her hands. "Karma, when?"

 

Not looking up from the ground she replies, "Last week." I look at Joe confusingly, not following the conversation, and I see a mixture of sadness and pure anger in his eyes. He nods in understanding as he softly places his hand on her shoulder.

 

"Karma, can you go grab us another special, a bottle of jack and, some cokes?" She nods at his request, gives me a small smile, and heads back to the kitchen. 

 

"So you two know each other?" he asks.

 

"Yeah, she's from back home. We went to community college together in Austin for a couple of years before I found my way to Belmont. She stayed in Austin and went to UT. We reconnected after I moved back to Austin during her last year of graduate school, and we spent six months working and collaborating together. She was the first artist I wanted to sign. She graduated with her Masters degree in Music Theory, celebrated with her friends and family that Saturday night after graduation, and by Sunday morning she was gone. She cut all of us off, except her parents, and I'm pretty sure it's been months since they have heard from her." 

 

"I don't think it's been good for her Reagan. She came in here about two months ago looking for work. I noticed several bruises on her hands and arms. She had a small cut on her lip, and a black eye. The guy that lured her to Nashville, her 'manager' Tyler West, is a piece of shit. He has a reputation for bringing girls here with promises of stardom and fame, only to use them and throw them away. He's kind of like a pimp. He just uses their talent for his own gain, while destroying these girls in the process. I guess the bastard came back last week." He grows quiet as he sees Karma approaching with the additional order. She places everything on the table, and as she turns to leave Joe stands and reaches for her hand. "Karma, why don't you take some time and catch up with Reagan." She begins to speak in protest, but Joe cuts her off. "Sit Karma, it's your break time anyway. Don't worry about work right now, everything is covered." She nods and takes a seat across from me. After a couple of minutes of awkward silence, and Karma not wanting to look at me, I finally speak.

 

"So Karma, how have you been?"


	4. Chapter 4

Karma's POV

"So Karma, how have you been?" Reagan says nonchalantly as she pours herself a Jack and Coke. As soon as she puts the Jack down I reach for it, pour myself a shot and throw it back. How have I been? My life is a fucking disaster right now. I have nothing, absolutely nothing. Joe has been letting me stay in the back office because I don't have anywhere else to go. So I'm basically homeless, with no car, no real friends or family (except Joe), and I'm flat broke, but I can't tell Reagan that. I can't tell her that things have been complete shit for the better part of a year. That I ran away from everything good and amazing in my life because I was scared. So I did what I have always seemed to do best. I lied.

"I've been great! Really great, how about you?" I say pouring myself a second shot.

"I've been good. Working. Still trying to get to a point where I can start my own label," she answers as I finish the second shot, continuing with my interrogation before she can ask me anything else.

"And Sara? How's Sara?" I figured if I bored her with my rambling small talk that this conversation would be over just as quick as it started. A part of me was hoping to find out that those two were finally together. Everyone can see that they are head over heels for each other, and that they belong together.

"She's really good. Putting in a lot of hours at the hospital, but she's good," she says as she sips on her drink.

"What about Shane and Lauren? How are they?" I ask, looking at the food in front of me. I haven't eaten anything today, and that burger is looking pretty good right now. I pick up one of the burgers and take a bite as she answers my last question.

"Well Shane is the director of marketing and public relations at the entertainment company he works for, and Lauren is still busting balls at the district attorney's office. She got engaged a few months ago."

I was starting to run out of things to ask her, and I didn't want to bring up Amy. So I asked about Amy's least favorite person in the world. "And what about Liam and-"

"Oh, cut the shit Karma!" she said cutting me off. I dropped the burger back to my plate. "We both know that it's killing you to sit there and not ask about Amy, but all I am going to tell you is that Amy is Amy. If you want to know anything else, then you need to figure out a way to ask her!" At this point I didn't know what else to say, so I went to get up and get back to work when Reagan spoke again. "Karma this isn't us. You and me," she says gesturing between us with her hand, "we don't do this awkward, small talk bullshit. We have always been brutally honest with each other, and we call each other on our shit, and we force the difficult conversations. So I am going to ask you. What happened the last night that you were in Austin? What happened that was so bad, that you felt like the only choice you had was leave? Hell, Karma, you didn't even say goodbye. You just left."

Is she serious right now? Surely she knows. I know Amy would have told her. Right? "I'm sure Amy told you, so why are you asking me?" I snap at her defensively. My moods and emotions have been all over the place the last several months. I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but thank God Reagan ignored it.

"Amy hasn't said a word about what happened that night to anyone. Not even Lauren knows. So the only people who know what happened that night are you, Amy, and anyone else you may have shared it with."

"I haven't talked about it to anyone," I say as I feel tears forming in my eyes. There is a brief silence as I make eye contact with Reagan across the table. All I see in her eyes is genuine care and concern. I close my eyes and the tears race down both of my cheeks. I take a deep breath before I say, "I slept with Amy." After my revelation I immediately look down at the table and start playing with the french fries on the plate in front of me. The silence between us now is deafening. I hesitantly look up at her trying to gauge her reaction. She leans forward over the table a bit before she speaks.

"I figured it was something like that. It was only a matter of time. Hell, when I moved back from Los Angeles I thought you guys were a legit couple. You always have been. Well, minus the physical stuff I guess." She pauses briefly before she speaks again. "Was it really that bad? It wasn't a drunken hook-up was it? Like that pool kiss," she says with a small smirk.

"WHAT?! Are you kidding me?" I say with more confidence that I have had in months. "No, we weren't drunk." I feel a small smile starting to spread across my face as I think back to everything that happened that night. "It was the best night of my life. It was...perfect."

"Then why the hell did you run?" she says sternly. "Amy woke up the next morning and you were gone!"

"I know!" I feel the tears coming back now. "I was scared to face her. I knew she was going to ask me what it all meant, where we stood, and I didn't know. I didn't know how to answer those questions. The last time something happened where I couldn't give her an honest answer, when I drunkenly kissed her in a pool during a high school party, she got on a bus and left. I couldn't imagine what she would do after us having sex, especially if she left for three months over a kiss. So I left before she could. And now, it's been so long I can't go home. I never deserved her. It's to late..." my voice trails off and I started crying so hard I couldn't speak. I felt Reagan slide into the booth next to me. She gently pulled me into her, and I buried my face in the crook of her neck. She just held me, and let me cry. The last time I was held like this, where I felt safe, was my last night in Austin with Amy. I am so thankful for Reagan at this moment, but I wish it was Amy's arms that I was wrapped up in. After a few minutes I began to calm down. She was still holding me when she asked those questions.

"How long has he been hurting you? What has he done to you?" Of course she would know about it. I wasn't exactly discrete when she hugged me, and I am sure Joe told her since they seem to have a history. I tried to pull away, but she wasn't going to let me. "Please tell me," she pleaded. I tried to gather myself, but I didn't know how. I mean how do you admit to an old friend that you have been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused for almost a year now. That all of my insecurities and my need of approval from others put me in the place I'm in. I pulled away from her and took her hand in order to have contact with her. I was going to need it to get through this.

 

"I guess I'll start from the beginning." And I did. I told Reagan how I met Tyler the night before graduation after I performed at the open mic night at one of Matthew's bars, and how he said he was looking for a new lead singer for a band he was managing. I took his information just to be polite, never planning on using it. Then we graduated the next day, celebrated that night, and then Amy and I slept together. I woke up around 4:30am, untangled myself from her body, and when I looked down at her I panicked. I wondered how in the world someone so perfect could ever want to love me, to possibly spend their life with me. I talked myself into a mini panic attack, so I got dressed. I sent Tyler a text asking if he still needed a singer. He replied quickly and told me to meet him at the coffee shop near my parents house at 7am. Before I left Amy, I gave her a soft kiss on her forehead, watched as she scrunched her nose, shift in the bed, and I walked out. At 7am I got on the bus with the band, and we hit the road. The first couple of months were great. We played all over Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, and Florida. We even played a couple of big name bars in Nashville. I had a little fling with the drummer, and when Tyler found out the shit really hit the fan.

My world started falling apart after that. We visited my parents last November since we were passing through, and he blew up at the mention of me moving back to Austin. He told me that I was his, and that I wasn't going anywhere. He started pushing me and slapping me around that night. By Christmas I was alienated from everyone. He isolated me so he could control me. Around April is when it got bad. He started hitting me more and more, and he pulled the gigs he had set up for me. Things hit rock bottom two months ago when he put me in the hospital for two days. When I was discharged I ran from him, and found my way here to Joe's. I haven't played, written, or sang in two months. I was out for a walk last week getting some air when he found me and roughed me up again. He told me I had to the end of the month to come to my senses or he'd be back.

I didn't realize it but at some point during my monologue, Reagan and I both had started crying. "Karma, why don't you just come home?"

"I can't. I don't have the money for a plane ticket, and I don't have a car. Besides, I'm not sure if I can face Amy, my parents, or anyone else for that matter," I said looking down at the small space between us. I was doing my best to avoid eye contact with Reagan.

"Hmm," she says looking down at our intertwined hands. She looks back up to my eyes, wipes the tears from her cheeks, and then speaks. "Do you remember when I came back to Austin after Jordan? How everyone was there for me to help me find my way again?" I make eye contact with her and slowly nod. "What makes you think that you won't have that?" I shrug because I don't know what else to say or do. "Karma, Amy wasn't the only one you left that day. You left us all. There are so many people in Austin that love you and care about you, and we all want nothing more than for you to come home."

"I'm not so sure about that," I reply with all kinds of sass and snark.

"If you don't believe me then give all of us a chance to show you by getting on that plane with me tomorrow," she says giving my hand a small squeeze.

"But what about Amy? How do I face her? I know she can't still care about me, love me, after what I did." As soon as I said it I see anger and frustration flash across her face. She was clearly sick of my bullshit because before she spoke she pulled her hand away from me and laid it on the table.

"Karma, are you fucking kidding me right now?! Hmm? I know that you are totally fucking clueless with all things Amy, but we are still talking about the same girl right?" I look down at my hands, and nod my head answering yes. "Amy has known for years how fucked up you are, but she loves you in spite of it," she says as she nudges me playfully with her shoulder. "In what world, universe, or reality does Amy Raudenfeld not love Karma Ashcroft? And in what world, universe, or reality does Karma Ashcroft not love Amy Raudenfeld?" I smile a little when she says that. "Karma, get on that plane with me tomorrow." I look over her shoulder to see Joe making his way back to us.

"I can't. I have work and I can't-"

"No you don't Karma," says Joe as he slides in the booth across from us taking a sip of his beer. Joe always seems to have perfect timing. "You don't work here anymore." I sit there stunned. I just got fired, and I look over to Reagan and she is off in her own little world playing on her phone.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I stutter.

"I have to let you go Karma. You are no longer an employee here. Take this as you severance package," he says, sliding an envelope across the table to me. I open it and find $2000 cash.

"Joe, I can't take this," I say as I extend my hand to him, trying to return the envelope and cash.

"Yes you can Karma, and you will. You will need it for your new start." I started crying and before I could speak Reagan does.

"Alright. Tickets are booked, and this time tomorrow we will be back in the great state of Texas," she says with a smile. "C'mon, it's getting late and we should get some rest." We both slide out of the booth, and Joe stands with us. He walks us to the door, and gives us both a hug. 

"Reagan, look out for her. Karma, good luck sweetie. And you two keep in touch," he says as I wrap him in another hug.

"Thank you Joe, for everything." And with that he slips away and disappears behind the bar as Reagan and I walk out the front door.

 

Before we went to her hotel, we stopped at Target so I could get some necessities: a small carry-on, toiletries, and some clothes to get me through a few days. All I had to my name at this point was what I was wearing and the few things I had in my purse. Reagan also bought me a prepaid cell so I could communicate with the world, at least until I got settled back in Austin and I could get an upgrade.

When we got back to her hotel she let me shower first, then she took her turn. I was sitting on my bed for the night, looking at the only photo I had. It was one of me and Amy at my last birthday party I had back in Austin, when Reagan came out of the bathroom.

"You don't have to worry about her you know. You guys will work it out," she says walking past me to the other bed in the room.

"I always thought she would come looking for me to try and bring me home. At least I hoped she would have."

"She did."

"What?" I was stunned. Did she really just tell me that Amy came for me? "What are you talking about?"

"About two weeks after you left I got word from an old college friend that you had a show at Tootsies, your first live show in Nashville. We both knew how big that was for you so we were on the next flight out of Austin."

"So you guys were there that night?" I say with tears hanging in my eyes.

"We were. You did so well. Amy had this huge, goofy smile glued to her face the whole time you were on stage. We were so proud of you. She was so proud of you. She tried to speak to you after you played, but she saw that your drummer had gotten pretty cozy with you. She left that night because you were happy, or she thought you were happy, and you were living your dream. She loved you enough to let you go." I was crying again. God, how could I be so stupid. I couldn't see what I had right in front of me, what I had this whole time. Why was I so scared to go there with Amy, to be with her? "Karma, you two are meant to be together. The sooner you accept that, the happier you will both be. You're soulmates, remember?" After she said that she crawled into her bed, and I crawled into mine.

"Get some sleep, tomorrow is a big day," she says, fighting with her sheets.

"Good night Reagan, and thank you. For everything."

"No problem Karmen," she says with a little bit of laughter in her voice. I couldn't help but smile too. I snuggled down in my bed, and that night was the best sleep that I had had since I left Austin.

 

The next afternoon we boarded the plane and our flight home was uneventful. I've always been scared of flying, but that was the least of my concerns right now. I don't know what I will say to my parents when I see them. I have no idea how to fix things with Amy. I thought about it the whole flight home. After we landed, we went straight to Reagan's SUV. We were a few minutes into the ride when she interrupted my thoughts. "Karma, stop over analyzing shit. It's not going to do you any good."

I huff a little before speaking. "I know, it's just I can't stop thinking about Amy."

"Karma listen to me. It will all work out. Tonight you get your parents back. Amy and Sara start a 48 hour shift this evening, so they wont be around until Saturday morning. The next couple of days are about you and your parents. When Saturday gets here we will worry about Amy then. Okay?" I nod in agreement and fifteen minutes later, Reagan is pulling into my parents driveway. She cuts the engine off and we sit there in silence for a couple of minutes before she says, "Are you ready?"

I speak quickly. "Yes," and we get out of the car and walk towards the front door together. As soon as we get halfway up the steps the front door opens, and I see my mom for the first time in almost a year. We both start crying and she wraps me up in a hug.

"Oh my God, Karma. I can't believe you're home. We've missed you so much. LUCAS!!! LUCAS!!! Get out here, Karma's home," she screams through tears. At that, my dad comes through the door and hugs us both.

"I love you guys so much. I'm so so sorry, for everything," I say to them both, and all three of us are crying now, wrapped tightly in each others arms.

Reagan's POV

I started crying when I witnessed the family reunion on the Ashcroft front porch. It felt really good knowing that Karma was back in Austin. I can only hope that the other reunions go just like this, but I don't know how Amy will react. Especially when she finds out that I kept this from her. At this point she will just have to be pissed at me and get over her shit, because right now we need to take care of Karma. I turn and head back to my SUV when I hear Karma calling. "Reagan, wait," she says coming down the stairs toward the driveway. She walks right up to me and hugs me. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. I don't know how I will ever repay you." We pull away from the hug.

"Well I do. Saturday we face everyone, and then you face Amy. And on Monday you start working with me. New material isn't going to write and record itself, now is it?" I say as I give her a wink, climb into my SUV, and drive away. I let go of a breath that I didn't even realize I was holding, and say to myself, "Well, Saturday should be fun."

 

Author's Note: I felt like this would be a very important chapter in this story, and it was tough to write. I have constantly wrote and rewrote this chapter in hopes that it would give the reader most of what they wanted/needed. I probably should have split it into two chapters, but I did not want to leave the reader hanging and in suspense, waiting for the next chapter. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

So far it's been a pretty good day, but it won't be long before it gets crazy around the hospital. Today is Halloween, there are Friday night football games, and it's a full moon. These three things together should make for an interesting night in the ER. Sara and I finally made it to the cafeteria for a late lunch/early dinner, but not before the Chief of Emergency Medicine could inform both of us that our shift had been extended another twelve hours. It sucks that we won't be home for a third night in a row, but it is Halloween and a full moon so we should be pretty busy.

"You think we'll see some crazy shit tonight?" Sara asks as we finally sit down to eat.

"What kind of question is that? You do realize it is Halloween, a full moon, and a Friday night during football season?" I reply thinking to myself that tonight will probably be a total cluster fuck.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe we'll get to see a few sports injuries tonight," she says taking another bite of her salad.

"As much as you enjoy sports I figured you would have done ortho." She just shrugs her shoulders and keeps eating. As long as I have known Sara she's always been a big sports fan. It makes sense though. She played basketball and softball in college. I stalked her on the internet once, looking to see how good she was. What I found blew me away. She won every single academic award out there, and she was first team All-Conference for three years in both sports. She has never really been one to volunteer information about herself, but if you start asking questions she tends to open up a bit. I guess you can thank the soccer playing boyfriend in college that was good at beating her confidence down. Or you can thank the girl she dated for almost a year during medical school who did nothing but lead her on, cheat on her, and then tell her she meant nothing to her at all. Before I take another bite of my grilled chicken wrap, I decide that I want to stir the pot a bit. "So...how's Reagan?"

"She's good I guess. She seemed pretty tired yesterday."

"Yesterday?" I ask as a smile slowly creeps across my face.

"Yeah. She stopped by and we grabbed lunch," she says nonchalantly.

"Really," I say with a smirk. "So you two are...?"

"Friends?" she says as more of a question than a statement.

"Oh, c'mon Sara. There is clearly something going on between you two. It's been going on for months now. The way you look at each other gives it away. It's pretty obvious that you guys are crazy about each other."

"Yeah, well she hasn't said anything, and I know that I'm not going to say anything. I learned my lesson with Julie," she says as she looks down at the food she is now playing with.

"You're crazy about her, right?" I ask not expecting an answer, but am surprised when Sara looks up from her food and nods. "Why don't you say something? Ask her out, or at least talk to her about it." Sara is clearly annoyed now.

"Well let's see. How about it's a bad idea because I don't like labels, and if you had to pick one mine would be bisexual. And we both know how Reagan feels about that."

"Yeah, you do have a point, but I still think you should at least try and talk to her about it. The sexual tension between you two is unreal."

"I tell you what. When you start putting yourself out there more, I will talk to Reagan about it Blondie. Now tell me, how are things going with Kate? I'm guessing you two are still having your super secret, weekly meetings," she says with a small laugh.

"They are secret, which means they aren't supposed to be talked about, or brought up. But...we are meeting twice a week now." Sara is still smiling. Kate is a friend of Sara's and she is my guitar and voice teacher. I started lessons when I got back from Nashville after Karma left. I guess it's my way of trying to keep a connection with her. I'm brought out of my thoughts when Sara chuckles, "We have a little Hendrix on our hands."

"Shut up! We agreed that this was going to be like Fight Club, and the first rule of fight club is that you don't talk about Fight Club!" I say with pure aggravation in my voice. "You out me on this, and I out you Beethoven!" I say throwing one of my Doritos at her.

"You wouldn't dare," Sara says playfully. Before I could respond my phone starts ringing, and I see Lauren's face appear.

"Look, please don't say anything about Kate to anyone. I'm not sure how they will react, but it probably won't be good."

"Who's Kate? I don't have a clue what you're talking about Blondie," she says as I answer the phone mouthing 'thank you' to Sara.

"Hey Lauren. You're on speaker and Sara is sitting here with me."

"Hey. Shane wants to have people over tomorrow and Reagan is wanting to do a backyard BBQ of some sort. I know your shifts won't end until early tomorrow morning, but are you two up for it?" I look at Sara and she shrugs her shoulders, then tells Lauren it's okay with her.

"Yeah that's fine. How about 4:30?" I ask.

"Perfect! Got to go. I'll see you two tomorrow," and she hangs up the phone. I look at Sara and before I could say anything, both of our pagers go off.

"I guess we are being summoned," I say as we both stand to make our way back to the ER. As we are walking out of the cafeteria Sara smiles at me and says, "Let the madness begin!"

 

____________________________________________________________________

I never thought that I would be able to come back to Austin. The last couple of days with my parents have been great. It was late when Reagan dropped me off, so we all went straight to bed after we made it in from the front porch. I slept in and it's the first time in forever that I actually had two consecutive nights of good sleep. After I woke up yesterday, I stayed in my room for awhile. It was a trip down memory lane because my room was exactly like I left it. This room has so many memories, especially memories shared with Amy. I started crying as I looked at all the photos I had of us together. I finally made it to my drawers and I saw that Amy still had some of her clothes here. She was everywhere. I don't know how I could be so stupid. So oblivious to everything. I was, am, such a fool for not seeing what I had in front of me the whole time. All I have ever done where Amy is concerned is let her down and break her heart. How am I ever going to fix this? 

Zen came over for dinner Thursday night. I had been back in Austin for almost twenty-four hours, and in some ways it was like I had never left at all. Reagan and I exchanged a few texts. She was just checking on me. It's crazy how our rocky start when I was in high school would somehow lead to a friendship. Thursday seemed to fly by, and after dinner and a movie with my parents and Zen, I decided to turn in for the night.

I had been laying in bed for a couple of hours, tossing and turning. I could not get my mind off of Amy. I had no idea what I was going to say to her when I saw her, or how I was going to fix things. If they were in fact fixable. My mind kept bouncing back and forth between what was going to happen when I saw her, and what we did my last night in Austin. There are no words in the English language that could accurately describe how incredible that night was. At some point during the night I fell asleep, still wearing Amy's old clothes. 

I was awakened when my mom came in, bringing my usual morning tea. After a quick chat with my mom, I grabbed a quick shower and headed downstairs. Mom and dad had left a note saying they were headed out for a bit, so I got comfortable on the couch binge watching House Hunters. All I could think of was Amy, and how I still hadn't figured out how to handle this situation. My thoughts of Amy were interrupted when my phone rang. I looked down to see that it was Reagan. She wanted to know how I was doing, and if I was up for a backyard BBQ at Amy and Lauren's house tomorrow afternoon. She also told me Amy and Sara were going to have to work later than expected which is why we are doing it later in the day. I told her that was okay with me. She told me that I needed to relax a bit and to stop worrying myself over this. Easy for her to say right? I mean she didn't have an incredible night with the girl she was head-over-heels in love with, her soul mate, and then run out the following morning to avoid her because she was to chicken shit to face her own feelings.

A few hours later I was in the kitchen with my mom, helping with dinner. "Karma sweetie, have you talked to Amy since you've been back?" I immediately looked down at the floor. "I'll take that as a no. When do you plan on letting her know that your are back in Austin?" I slowly look up and make eye contact with my mom.

"Well, Reagan is supposed to pick me up tomorrow afternoon. She says they are doing a BBQ at Amy and Lauren's. So I guess I will get dropped into the lion's den tomorrow."

"Honey, there has not been a day that has passed since you two were five years old that Amy has not loved you. It may be a little awkward at first, but it will all work itself out in the end. You guys are soul mates, remember?" Molly says while wrapping her arm around my waist, giving me a little squeeze. "C'mon, let's get the table set so we can have dinner," she says as she pulls me across the kitchen, handing me a bunch of plates. I seemed to have forgotten how terrible the food could be at my parents' house, but I am so grateful to be here. Dinner was great (the company, not the food), and my parents left me home alone to clean up the kitchen as they went out the door for their weekly Friday night movie date.

Just as I was finishing up in the kitchen, I heard the doorbell ring. I wasn't expecting anyone so I was a little confused as to who it could be. I've always had this bad habit of opening the door before checking to see who was there. As I swung the door open I am greeted with a chorus of "Trick or Treat!" Great, I thought to myself. I have a few kids standing on the front porch wanting candy. After a few minutes of rummaging through the kitchen I manage to find some candy for them. After I passed out the candy, I flipped the front porch light off, closed the front door, and made my way over to the couch for some Netflix. I fell asleep watching The Notebook, but was awakened by a loud banging on the front door. I checked my phone to see that it was about 9:30pm. I figured it was my parents and that they had forgotten their keys. I swung the front door open with a smile on my face. When I saw who was standing there in front of me, I immediately dropped my phone and froze. How could this be happening? I was paralyzed with fear.

"Hello Karma. You just never seem to learn do you?" Tyler said as he pushed his way into the house. He immediately swung at me, connecting with the left side of my face. I stumbled a bit, then fell into darkness.

___________________________________________________________________

Since we came back from the cafeteria, things haven't been to crazy. We've had a steady flow of patients in and out of the ER this evening, but the night is still young. I'm guessing its ten or eleven o'clock judging by the football players and cheerleaders I saw in the waiting room as I was on my way back from radiology. We have only had one trauma so far, and it is what we were paged for while we in the cafeteria. I spot Sara at the admitting desk so I walk over to ask if she's gotten the athletes she wanted as patients tonight. "Having fun?" I ask her as I make my around her to get a look at the admitting board.

"Yeah, shit tons of fun here," she says as she picks up a massive stack of paperwork to show me just how much fun she was having. I just chuckle and turn my attention back to the board when one of the attending physicians walk up to us.

"Amy, Sara. We have a trauma on the way in. ETA is five minutes. I'd like you both to take this case," orders Dr. Robinson. He stands there continuing to give instructions to other staff members as Sara and I make our way to the ambulance bay to wait for the incoming trauma. We stood there for a couple of minutes before we heard the sound of a distant siren. We both wait patiently as the ambulance pulls up. Sara opens the back doors and a paramedic pushes a stretcher out to us. As we make our way inside and down the trauma hall the paramedic starts with his report.

"Young female, 25-30 years of age. Found unconscious about 30 minutes ago. Large bore IV started in the field, one liter of saline, and 2mg morphine on board. Vitals have been all over the place. She was a 'load and go.' She's been in and out of consciousness. Possible skull fracture, left ulna fracture, multiple left metacarpal fractures, multiple rib fractures bilaterally, with a hardened abdomen in upper left quadrant, likely a spleen injury. She also has multiple facial lacerations. Someone beat the hell out of her," he finishes his report as we wheel our patient into one of the trauma rooms. Sara goes to the patient's left side, removes the stethoscope from her neck and begins to listen for breath sounds as I talk to our patient on her right.

"Ma'am can you hear me? Ma'am, my name is Dr. Raudenfeld, if you can hear me squeeze my hand." At that point I feel a light squeeze. "We need to call radiology for a portable x-ray: head, face, neck, chest, left forearm, wrist, and hand. Let's get a CBC, type and cross for four units, and get an ultrasound in here please. Once the neck x-ray is clear we need to get her down to CT for a head and face scan." At this point Sara has the ultrasound, examining the patient's abdomen.

"Looks like we have a spleen laceration. Liver looks okay. We need to call the OR for an exploratory laparotomy," Sara informs me. I am about to speak again when I hear muffled sounds coming from our patient. It's so hard to hear with all the noise around us of people working.

"Ma'am can you hear me? Can you tell me what happened to you?" As soon as I finish speaking, I feel the patient squeeze my hand, then interlocking her fingers with mine. I hear the patient speak, barely more than a whisper.

"Amy." I notice the auburn colored hair then slowly lift my eyes to look at Sara when I glance past her. I see Molly and Lucas Ashcroft standing outside the trauma room. I feel my heart stop in my chest. I am now paralyzed.

"Amy are you okay? Amy what's wrong?" Sara asks. I look at Sara as my eyes fill up with tears and I can barely breathe, barely speak, but it comes out.

"Karma. Patient. Karma."

 

A/N: Feedback is always appreciated, and thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

"Karma. Patient. Karma."

This CAN NOT be happening. My chest hurts. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I feel tears running down my cheeks. "Amy. Amy, talk to me," says Sara and at this point I am gasping for air.

"The. P-p-patient. Is. Karma," I say through fast, shallow breaths. As soon as it registers with Sara, her entire facial expression changes. Her face is completely devoid of emotion. In the background I hear one of the nurse's say that x-ray was here. Sara pulls me to my feet and we step just outside the trauma room so x-rays could be taken.

"Amy look at me." I look up and make eye contact with Sara. "Just breathe with me okay?" We breathe together and after four or five breaths, I feel my body returning to normal. "Amy listen to me. You need to get your shit together...for her," she says pointing at a truly unrecognizable Karma. "I can cover for you here, but I need to know if you can handle this." I'm having trouble focusing on Sara. This is really happening. Shit. Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do? My eyes are darting all over the place. "Amy! Pull your head out of your ass right now or I swear to God I'll go to Robinson and have you pulled from your shift! Get your shit together right now! Karma. Your Karma needs you Amy." I make eye contact with Sara and nod my head. They just finished shooting x-rays, and Sara walks back into the trauma room with me on her heels. As they are pulling the images up, I go to Karma's side. I put my right hand over her right hand, and I place my left hand gently on the crown of her head, stroking her hair. I lean over, and put my mouth next to her ear. "Karms, can you hear me?" I immediately feel her turn her hand in mine and intertwine our fingers. "Karms, everything's going to be okay. You're going to get through this. I'm going to help you get through this. Now, I need to go and look at your x-rays." I pull back to see the left side of her face, completely battered. Only her right eye is open and I see tears falling from it. I lightly squeeze her hand before walking over to review her x-rays. 

"What have we got?" I ask as I stand next to Sara. We go through more than a dozen x-rays. No skull fracture. C-spine is clear. Small, non-displaced left maxillary fracture. Left mandible fracture. Chest x-rays showed five rib fractures, three on the left and two on the right. Left distal ulna fracture. Displaced fractures of the left third and fourth metacarpals. "C-spine is clear. Let's get that collar off and get her off that backboard. Bag her clothes for the police. Let's get consults with ortho as well as oral surgery, and I want to do another ultrasound," I say to those still in the trauma room. "Looks like the spleen is still bleeding slowly. Call CT and let them know we're coming," I say to the nurse standing next to me. As Sara wheels Karma off to CT, I spot Lauren and Anthony (Theo) walking towards us. I didn't get a chance to tell Molly and Lucas what was going on with Karma before Lauren started her interrogation.

"What the hell happened Amy?"

"I don't know. She came in by ambulance," I say to Lauren as she turns her attention to the Ashcrofts.

"Mr. and Mrs. Ashcroft, can you tell us what happened?" she asks much softer than she asked me.

"I don't know," Molly says through tears. "We came back from the movie a little after 10pm," and Molly breaks down. Lucas embraces her and speaks to Lauren.

"We got home around 10pm and found her unconscious on the floor. The house looked like it had been burglarized." Lauren and Anthony turn towards each other when Anthony speaks.

"I'm on it," He then disappears down the hallway, barking orders into his radio. Lauren turns her attention back to the Ashcrofts. 

"You know I wish I could be more help," Molly begins "but Reagan may know. She brought Karma home from Nashville two nights ago."

"What?!" I say totally confused at this point. "What do you mean Reagan brought her home?"

"They ran into each other when Reagan was in Nashville and Reagan convinced Karma to come home," Lucas says to me. I feel the heat flush into my face. I'm beyond pissed right now. At some point I will talk to Reagan about this. How could she not tell me this?

"Molly. Lucas. I need you to go with Cody. She will show you to the waiting room. I'll come get you when Karma gets back from CT." They nod and follow Cody to the waiting room as Lauren and I walk towards radiology. "How did you know?"

"Molly called Farrah. Farrah called me. How's it look?"

"She's beat to hell. Facial fractures, hand fractures, forearm fracture, rib fractures. She will need surgery and physical therapy. She's got a long recovery ahead of her."

"I think it's time we do those renovations we've talked about. Move Sara and Reagan to the basement, and Karma into Sara's room, next to you. Maybe even put a home studio down there. 

"Yeah, I'm sure Reagan and Sara will love that," I snap back.

"It doesn't really matter what they think because it is our damn house. Besides, they can thank us later. You know speed up their process. I'll call Liam and Ashley. You know Ashley will eat this renovation shit up." I chuckle at that and Lauren speaks again. "I've got phone calls to make, are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I have to be. If I'm not okay then I can't be here for Karma."

"Okay, just keep me updated," and Lauren disappears through the corridor.

As I enter radiology, I see Sara come around the corner with Karma, and she looks like she is in a hurry. "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask walking with them.

"Head CT is clear, but her BP bottomed out. We are going to surgery now." I must look like I have seen a ghost because as soon as she says it Sara is bringing me back to reality. "Keep it together Blondie!" she orders. We get Karma to pre-op when Sara grabs me, and pulls me out. "You don't need to be back there. You don't need to see her in surgery."

"Tough shit! I'm going. I am not leaving her," I say, jerking my arm away and walking into pre-op, but Sara catches me.

"You have thirty seconds to say what you need to say to her, and then I am dragging your ass our of here. I'm letting Robinson know that you are done for the night, because you need to be up here with her and her family." I know there is no use in arguing, so I nod in agreement. I walk over to Karma and whisper in her ear. 

"Hey Karms. Everything is going to be just fine. I will be here waiting for you when you're done." I press a soft kiss to her forehead, and I make my way to the waiting room to find Molly and Lucas.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After I went and got Molly and Lucas, we went straight up to the surgical waiting room. Sara sent me a text saying that she had taken care of things with Robinson, and that I was good where work was concerned. My brain was in overdrive at this point. My thoughts kept bouncing back and forth between Reagan and Karma. I couldn't sit still, so I started pacing the waiting room. After a few minutes, I spot Reagan coming into the waiting area. I immediately made a bee-line toward her. Without saying a word I grabbed her arm and escorted her into one of the private family rooms. I shut the door and turn toward her. "What the fuck is going on? I yell at her as I shove her, knocking her back over the table, then using both of my hands to grab the collar of her jacket. "Why the fuck would you bring her home and not say shit to me about it?" Reagan brings her hands up to my collar and pushes me back into the wall.

"It wasn't my place to tell you!" she says as she slams my back into the wall, then letting me go. "Karma wanted to tell you. She wanted you to hear everything from her." I go at her again, pinning her up against the wall, my forearm in her throat.

"You brought her home, and then this happens to her." Before I could say anything else Lauren barges in.

"You two need to knock this shit off right fucking now! This bullshit is not helping anything. Damn it Amy, let her go," she says trying to pull me off of a Reagan. I let Reagan go and took a few steps back to the other side of the small room. "Reagan, is there anything that you know of that may relate to what happened to her?" I see Reagan nod her head yes. "Tell me Reagan, no matter how irrelevant you think it is, I need to know all of it." Reagan glances over at me, and is still not talking.

"Damn it Reagan, you better fucking talk!" I say moving toward her.

"Fuck you Amy! Fuck. You!" 

"Reagan!" Lauren screams. Reagan and I are still glaring at one another, and then she looks over at Lauren.

"She was being smacked around back in Nashville. That's why I brought her home. I thought she would be safe here."

"Reagan, I need a name."

"Her manager, Tyler West," Reagan says looking to the floor.

"You two need to grow the fuck up. This is not the time or place for this shit. What's done is done, and we all need to figure out how we can help Karma through this," Lauren says leaving the room while dialing a number on her phone. I am once again left alone with Reagan, and my blood is still boiling.

"Amy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that she was back. She wanted to tell you. She wanted everything to come from her." I don't say a word and walk back into the waiting room. I take a seat off by myself. I needed to wrap my head around this. It's now going on 3am, and Karma has been in surgery for almost an hour and half. My phone beeps and I see a text from Sara. Meet me in pre-op in 5 min. I took a deep breathe and slowly exhaled before I stood up to head to pre-op. As I stand I finally take in the waiting room. At 3am on a Saturday morning, the waiting room is almost full, and I know everyone. I see Molly, Lucas, and Zen, my mom Farrah and her boyfriend Mark, Bruce and his girlfriend Heather. Then there is Shane, Matthew, Lauren, Jonathan, Liam, Ashley, and Reagan. As I walk by Reagan I see she is taking photos.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Documenting."

"Documenting what?"

"Well, we both know that Karma has her insecurities and if we were to tell her that a lot of people love her and care for her she probably wouldn't believe it. So I'm going to show her later that she couldn't be anymore wrong about that," says Reagan as she scrolls through some photos on her phone. I go to walk off, but I stop myself.

"Hey Reagan. Look I'm sorry for losing my temper back there. I was out of line."

"No worries, I probably would have done the same thing." I give her a small smile before walking off to meet Sara. I still can't believe any of this is happening. The last time I saw Karma we were in bed together, and it was hands down the best night of my life. Now here we are almost eighteen months later and she's in emergency surgery. I walk into pre-op to see Sara sitting behind the desk alone.

"Hey Sara, everything okay?"

"I just wanted to give you an update on Karma. She's going to be in there for awhile. One of the rib fractures damaged a lung, and she developed a tension pneumothorax. They had to put a chest tube in." When I heard that, I collapsed into the seat next to Sara. "Amy look at me." I look up at Sara and I feel the tears hanging in my eyes. "Amy, she's critical and this is serious, but the surgery is progressing nicely. She's hanging in there. They went ahead and called ortho and oral surgeons to repair the fractures so she wouldn't have to go back to the OR. They are done with the big stuff. They couldn't repair her spleen so they had to remove it." At this point I couldn't hold my tears back any longer. Sara reached over and wrapped me in a hug while I cried. "She's going to get through this. You are going to help her through this. We all are. She is going to be okay Amy."

Two hours later I am back in the surgery waiting room. Everyone is still there. Sara finished up in the ER, and is now sitting between me and Reagan. She nudges my leg with her leg, and when our eyes meet she motions with her head in the direction of the OR. I look up to see two surgeons coming into the room. We make eye contact, and its like us doctors can communicate with telepathy. He gives me a small smile and nods his head, telling me that everything went well. "Ashcroft family," says Dr. Caine and the entire room stands up, and huddles around him. He seems a bit taken a back with the size of the "family." He is scanning the crowd as he asks for her mom and dad. When they step forward he addresses them directly.

"Karma's surgery went well. We had a couple of things happen that we didn't anticipate, but she did really well. We had to remove her spleen, and other surgeons came in and repaired her jaw and hand fractures."

"When can we see her?" Molly asks.

"She's in recovery now, and hopefully in an hour or so we will have her moved to ICU. She's going to be out for awhile. I need to tell you that there is a lot swelling and she has a lot of tubes and machines hooked up right now." Molly and Lucas nod, saying they understand and Dr. Caine walks away. Molly turns and looks at me, and all I do is nod my head at her unspoken request. She wants me to go and check on our girl, so Sara and I leave and go to find Karma. We get to recovery to see a couple of nurses wheeling Karma out, informing us that they have a room in ICU for her. We lag behind giving them time to work and get her situated. When I finally get to her, it is a sight that I will never forget. She's covered with a few blankets to keep her warm, but I see all the tubes. She's got a catheter draining her bladder. She is intubated and connected to a ventilator that is breathing for her. She has a tube in her nose that goes to her stomach to keep her from throwing up. She's got several IV lines going. There are wires coming out from under the blanket connecting her to a heart monitor, and her left arm is wrapped in a cast, fingertips all the way up to her elbow. It is so hard to believe that this is Karma right now. My chest is starting to tighten and my breathing is becoming more ragged. Sara takes my hand, and we do our breathing exercise from earlier. When my breathing returns to normal, Sara motions with her head toward Karma. 

"Go talk to her. Let her know that you are here." I nod and as I start to walk toward Karma, Sara turns and leaves ICU. I approach her on her right side, her good side, and I see the chest tube. When that happens I almost lose my shit, but I am determined that I will be strong for the girl in front of me now. I lean down towards her ear.

"Karms, I'm here," I say stroking her hair. "I'm here. You did so, so good Karms. You are done with surgery and you did so, so good." Tears are running down my face now. "Karms everything is going to be okay. You're going to get through this, I'm going to help you get through this. We all are Karms." I pause for a brief moment, collecting myself. I lean closer to her and whisper in her ear words I haven't been able to tell her for a year and half. "Karma, I love you."

 

A/N: I hope to have the next chapter ready by Sunday. With Sunday being Valentine's Day, it will work out perfectly. Hopefully a certain flashback will make readers happy. Feedback is always welcome, and thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

"Amy. Amy wake up. Let's go sleepyhead." I barely open my eyes before someone is shaking me. "C'mon on Amy wake up." I raise my head from the side of the hospital bed to see Sara kneeling down at my level. I look down to see that I was holding Karma's hand. At some point after she was brought to ICU I fell asleep.

"What time is it?" I ask Sara, rubbing my sore neck from sleeping in a chair, hunched over the side a bed.

"It's about 9am. Let's go home so you can eat, shower, and get some sleep."

"I'm not leaving."

"Amy you have been at this hospital for five straight days. You need to get away for a bit."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving her Sara."

"Okay. How about we go to the cafeteria for a little bit? Molly and Lucas want to see her and you know there is a visitor limit in ICU." I don't want to leave, but I know Sara is right. Karma's parents need to see her and spend time with her. She is still out of it from the anesthesia, but her vitals are stable. She's been out of surgery for a little more than twenty four hours. As Sara and I come out of her room, we pass Molly and Lucas. I speak to them briefly, giving them a warning about what they will see, and to remind them that right now everything looks good for her and that as soon as she is extubated she will be moved to a regular room. Of course they want to know when that will be, but we can never say with any certainty.

Sara and I finally make it to the cafeteria and she insists on buying breakfast. I don't have the willpower to argue with her so I let her. We sit down to eat, but I'm not hungry. I just wind up pushing my food around my plate. I didn't even look at the donut she bought. "How are you doing? I mean how are you doing with all of this?" Sara asks between bites of her breakfast sandwich.

"I...I don't really know. I haven't seen Karma in sixteen months, and she gets wheeled into my ER on a night I'm working, and someone beat the hell out of her. I can't wrap my mind around any of it. It-It hurts. Seeing her like this hurts. Seeing her after so much time hurts. I want to keep her safe. I want to protect her and take care of her, but I don't know if I can ever get to a point where I can really open up to her again."

"What happened the night we graduated from medical school? It seemed like everything was fine that day, and when we woke up Sunday morning you were in a state of panic. Then that night you were completely devastated."

"I really don't want to talk about. Hell, I don't even want to think about it." Sara nodded and continued eating her sandwich. We sat there for a while. I didn't eat anything. All I wanted to do was get back to Karma. I wanted to be there when she woke up. Sara and I stayed in the cafeteria until 11am then made our way back to ICU. When I got back Molly and Lucas left to get lunch. We had this unspoken agreement that we would rotate visiting Karma, so she was guaranteed to have someone with her when she finally woke up. I had been back with Karma for a couple of hours when she started moving around her bed. I stood up and leaned over her so she could see my face. When she opened her eyes, I felt tears in mine. 

"Hey Karms. You're in ICU and you have a tube down your throat helping you breath. Just sit tight. We will have it out in a few minutes." I pushed the nurses call button and let them know that she was awake. One of the hospitalists came in to review her chart and since her tests and vitals looked good, he made the decision to extubate. I talked her through it and when the tube came out she was coughing. After a few seconds of coughing she finally spoke. Although her voice was raspy from being intubated, it was the best thing I could ever hear.

"Amy. Amy what happened?" she said with coarse whisper.

"You were. You were." Shit! How the hell do I tell her what happened? Fuck me! "Karma, a couple of nights ago you came into the ER. Someone hurt you, but you are safe now. I'm going to take care of you okay?" Through tears she nodded and reached for my hand. "Just rest. Hopefully by tonight you will be out of ICU and in a regular room." I called Molly and Lucas to let them know that Karma was awake and would be moved during the afternoon. I sent Sara a text and she said she would let Lauren, Reagan, and Shane know. By dinner, Karma was settled in her private room trying to rest, but everyone came by to visit. While everyone was in and out of her room, I just sat in the hallway. I didn't know what was going on with me. I have felt every emotion I could possibly feel all in the span of forty-eight hours. Love, joy, fear, anger, sadness, rage. The list is endless.

After dinner, her parents left for the night. I told Molly I would stay with her. She was still in a good deal of pain, so she was pretty loaded on pain meds. She's still sleeping more than anything else right now. I got comfortable in the recliner next to her bed, and turned the television on. It was hard to keep my eyes off of her and on the television. In spite of everything, she was and will always be the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. I started flipping through the channels looking for anything decent when I stumbled across the movie Titanic. Since there wasn't anything else on I decided to let it play, knowing that it was one of Karma's favorites. As I settled into the recliner under my blanket, my thoughts went back to the last time I watched this movie with Karma.

 

It was graduation day. I was graduating from medical school and Karma was graduating with her masters degree. It had been a busy, jam-packed day for both of us with ceremonies, photos, and celebratory lunches and dinners. It didn't surprise me when she told me after dinner that all she wanted to do was go back to my house and watch Netflix. We went home and went through our normal bathroom routine before hopping into bed to watch Titanic. For some reason, Karma wanted to watch a three hour long movie. I couldn't really put up much of a fight because once she gave me that pouty lip, I was done. I didn't really care what we watched, I was just happy to be spending time with her after a crazy two weeks of finals and graduation activities. A couple of times during the movie I dozed off, but Karma was there poking me in the ribs to wake me up. The longer the movie played, the more cuddly she got and I didn't mind. I've always liked cuddling with her, and at this point I was already used to her antics. I never really got over Karma, it just took me several years to accept the fact that I would always love her, and that we would never be more than best friends. Ever since Reagan moved back to Austin six months ago, it seemed like things had been slowly changing between me and Karma. I never gave it much thought chalking it up to typical "Karma" behavior whenever she thought she might lose me.

By the time the final credits were rolling, she had her head on my chest, her arm wrapped tightly around my waist, and her leg thrown over mine. I had one hand resting on her forearm that was draped over me, while my other hand drew circles on her lower back. The hem of her t-shirt had crept up slightly and my fingertips wound up caressing the bare skin of her lower back, just above the waistband of her sleep shorts. I felt her breath hitch at the skin on skin contact, and she immediately retreated to the bathroom. I didn't think anything of it, just Karma being Karma, so I turned the television off, and rolled over on my side, facing an empty bed , to go to sleep.

I don't know how long Karma was in the bathroom. I didn't even feel her get back in bed. I was seconds from being asleep when I felt something lightly brush the tip of my nose. Before I could open my eyes, I felt her warm breath on my face, both of us sharing the same air. I slowly opened my eyes, and with light from the street light outside filtering in through the wooden blinds, I could see it was her nose that had nuzzled mine. I closed my eyes and was almost asleep again, when she gave me a gentle Eskimo kiss. A few seconds later I felt her lips softly graze mine. I'm not sure if you could call it a kiss. If it was a kiss then it was one full of hesitation and uncertainty, like she was merely testing the waters. It wasn't long before I felt her lips slightly pucker so she was nibbling on mine. I reciprocated, following her lead. As the seconds passed I could feel the confidence growing in both of us. It had been ten years since our last kiss, that drunken pool kiss. Her kisses now were soft and loving, full of care. All of those feelings I felt back in high school when we kissed were now multiplied by a thousand. Her fingertips pushed across my cheek before her hand cupped my face, our lips never separating. I immediately wrapped my free arm around her waist pulling her body flush with mine. Feeling her body pressed into mine, knowing that she wanted me, felt like heaven. Her leg slowly slid up mine, until she draped it over my thigh. Her kisses were intoxicating, making me weak. My heart was beating out of my chest. I slowly slid my hand up her back under her shirt to feel her. When my hand came back down to her lower back, she rolled her hips forward on me, and in one fluid motion I rolled over on my back pulling her on top of me so she wouldn't feel trapped.

She briefly pulled away. Panting. Needing air, but her lips came back to mine just as quickly as they left. When her tongue lightly swept over my bottom lip, my head started spinning. I wanted, no I needed, to taste her so I parted my lips giving her access, and I could taste the cherry chapstick on her lips. There was no fighting for dominance in our kisses, our lips and tongues were synchronized perfectly. Untangling my fingers from her hair, I slid both of my hands up her back pushing her t-shirt up to her ribs. When I did that she pulled back to sit up, and I followed her because any distance between us was to much. In one smooth motion we were sitting on the bed, my hands still slowly moving up her sides, when she raised her arms allowing me to remove her t-shirt. FUCK. She wasn't wearing a bra. The shadows and small amount of light filtering in from the street, was just enough to make out her features. I could really see her. FUCK. She reached down to cup my face in her hands, pulling my eyes up to meet hers. "You are so beauti-" was all I managed to get out before her lips crashed into mine, the weight behind the kiss pushed me back down into the mattress. She nuzzled her face into my neck, nipping at my pulse point and along my jaw line. I was almost lost in her, but before I allowed that to happen I flipped us over settling between her legs, intertwining our fingers, and pushing her hands down beside her head. I kissed her slowly. Deliberately. Savoring those moments. Moments that I had waited years for. I pulled away from her resting my forehead on hers, both of us quietly panting. "Karms, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. We won't do anything you don't-"

"Amy, stop talking. We have been talking for twenty years. We don't need to talk. Not right now. I want you. I want all of you." As soon as she said those words, my lips were back on hers. I slowly worked my way to her neck while resting on my forearms, my hands stroking her hair, nipping, licking, as I went from one side to the other. She started bucking her hips into me, and I found her lips again, gently tugging on her bottom lip with my teeth before I pulled back to get to her neck. As I slowly made my way down her chest, she brought my shirt up, pulling it off of me. She moaned when my mouth and tongue found her nipple, and my fingers lightly danced across her stomach, giving each side the same attention. I continued kissing down her stomach until I got to her underwear. I looked up at her, silently asking for permission to touch her. When she nodded, I rubbed her center through her underwear while gently biting at her hip bones, taking my time. Feeling her, how wet she was, sent me reeling. I hooked my fingers in her waistband. She lifted her hips up, allowing me to remove her sleep shorts and underwear. As I slowly made my way back up to her, I took my time allowing my fingertips to paint across her calf, up to the back of her knee. I lightly kissed her inner thigh, dragging my tongue across her skin. I then gave the same affection to her other leg. When I found myself at her center, we locked eyes, and again I silently asked for permission to taste her. When she nodded, my tongue traced down the crease of her leg where her leg met her center, and then back up through her folds. I parted her folds and flicked my tongue over her clit, causing her to arch her back and thrust her hips into me. My eyes never left her face. Seeing what I could do to her, what effect I had on her, was indescribable. I continued tasting her, not being able to get enough. I adjusted myself slightly and I slowly inserted a finger, my mouth never leaving her, my eyes never wavering from her face. With my free hand, I held her hand next to her hip. When I found her g-spot, I slowly inserted a second finger finding a steady rhythm, curling my fingers up each time I pulled back inside her.

"I'm. Close," she whispered between breaths. I needed to see her when she got her release so I slowly kissed my way back up to her, never breaking the rhythm inside her. My lips found hers and she bucked up into me again. She pulled on my bottom lip with her lips, gently sucking. Her hands were moving slowly across my shoulder blades. When she lightly scratched her nails down my back then up and over the curve of my hip she squeezed my ass and pulled my closer. My brain was on the verge of short-circuiting. She then wrapped one arm around my back, while her free hand went down inside the front of the boxers I always slept in, pressing at my core. I moaned as her touch sent me into another dimension. I rested my forehead on hers, neither of us breaking eye contact. I could feel how close she was as she was clenching around me. I was close too. Our bodies moved in a perfect synchronous rhythm. 

Somehow I found the strength to speak, and as I looked into her eyes I said, "Karma, I love you."

Seconds later she came, squeezing my body. Pulling me so tight to her that I could barely breathe. She continued rocking against me as she rode out her orgasm, bringing me to my own. My eyes never left hers. Her eyes never left mine. When I finally came down from my high I kissed her softly. Slowly. Pouring every ounce of love I had in me into our kiss. There were no words spoken after I told her I loved her. There didn't need to be. It was the most perfect night of my life and in that moment I felt complete. Sleep came easy for both of us, and I drifted off to sleep holding the love of my life in my arms. 

 

"Amy. Amy. Hey," Lauren yelled at me, snapping her fingers in my face. "Are you okay? I've been trying to get your attention now for a few minutes. You didn't answer when I knocked, so I came in."

"What? Ye-yeah. I'm fine. I'm just tired and I have a lot on my mind right now."

"How is she?"

"She's slowly getting there. She's still in a lot of pain and has been getting a lot of pain meds. She's been asleep for about an hour now." Lauren just nods as I give her the update.

"I brought you some clothes, shampoo, soap, toothbrush. Things you might need since you haven't been home. I also brought you donuts and a sandwich. Sara told me you haven't eaten in two days." I smiled slightly and thanked Lauren for bringing me clothes and food. "So are you going to tell me what's going on with you? I walked in the room, and you were off in your own little world. I could have smacked you in the face and I don't think that would have brought you out of it."

"Just tired Lauren. Nothing I'm not used to."

"I call bullshit! You can't tell me that everything is fine with you. You haven't seen Karma in a year and a half and all of sudden she's a patient in your ER." I don't respond. I really don't want to talk about it now. "Alright, well I talked to Ashley. Renovations at the house start tomorrow. Reagan and Sara are okay with the new arrangements, and everything should be completed by noon on Friday." I still don't respond, and I can see the frustration growing on Lauren's face and at this point we are having quite the stare down. I don't know why I spoke up but I did.

"We slept together."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I take a deep breath and say it again.

"We slept together. Me and Karma."

"Well no shit genius. You two have been sleeping together since you were kids," she responds in her signature snarky way, looking at me like I was a complete dumbass. After a   
few seconds the expression on her face slowly changes. You can see the light bulb go off as she realizes what I just said. She takes a moment before speaking again. "Jesus Amy, were you that damn bad?" She is trying to lighten the mood, but I am not finding it funny. "I'm sorry Amy. I um. Yeah." She stops talking for a minute, and I can see she is in deep thought. It's not often that Lauren is at a loss for words. "Well, how was it?" I look at her and just shake my head. I can't believe she is asking me this, and I am shocked that I actually answer her.

"It was everything I ever wanted. It was perfect. I thought that after that night we would be more than what we had always been. I thought she was in love with me too." There is an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Lauren spoke up.

"Amy look. We are all going to be here for Karma, to get her through this and I know you will be there too. Probably more than anyone else. But please be careful. I don't want you sinking in all of this. I don't want you going back to where you were this time last year. Let us help you. Be there for her and take care of her the best you can. But don't forget that you have to take care of you too. Don't let yourself get caught up in all of this to the point where you get hurt again, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks for looking out for me. And bringing me donuts." 

"You're welcome. Call me if you need anything," Lauren says before she walks out the door. I sit back down in the recliner, lost in thought when I feel tears running down my cheeks. I wipe them away and then look over at Karma. Her eyes met mine and I saw that she had tears running down her cheeks too.

 

A/N: I'm a little nervous about this update. This is my first attempt at writing anything like this (i.e., intimate encounters). I hope that it met your expectations and that you are happy with how this chapter turned. I always appreciate feedback, criticism, and questions. Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

"Karma what's wrong? Are you hurting? I can call your nurse," I told her not even thinking that maybe Karma had heard my conversation with Lauren.

"No. No-not really. I mean yeah I'm hurting, but I-"

"What hurts Karma? What can I do?" With everything she has been through and what she will go through, I know she's in pain.

"My heart," she says through tears. "Amy I-,"

"Don't. Don't go there. Not right now. Right now the only thing that matters is you getting better. Okay?" I had to deflect. This was not the time or place to have the conversation that I think she wanted to have. She wasn't in any shape to be having that heart-to-heart, and I was no where close to being ready to go through it with her.

"But Amy," she says before a knock on the door silences her. One of the floor nurses comes in walking toward Karma.

"Ms. Ashcroft, my name is Leah, and I'll be your nurse this evening. I've got your meds and hopefully they will help you get some rest tonight," she says walking over to the IV machine next to Karma's bed. As she approaches, I get out of her way and walk to the other side of the bed. She asked Karma a few questions, then did a quick exam. After her exam she inspected the IV lines and then started pushing Karma's meds. Karma wasn't paying any attention to the nurse, her eyes were locked on me.

"Amy I-,"

"Shhh, it's okay. Just get some sleep. We can talk about this later." Before she could reply her eyes slowly closed, drifting off to sleep. In that moment, I was so thankful for IV medication. It only takes seconds to work, and it saved me from having this conversation with Karma tonight. Leah finished up everything she needed to do, and told me to call if we needed anything. As soon as she left, I immediately sent Molly a text to let her know that my shift tomorrow would be starting at 7am. I needed to get back to work. I needed to find things to distract me from all of this. I was going to be there for Karma, do everything I could to keep her safe, but I also needed to keep my distance, at least emotionally. Lauren was right. I didn't need to fall back into the rabbit hole I was in a year ago.

I tried to get comfortable in that recliner, but there was no way that was going to happen. It was around midnight when I finally muted the television. I decided to leave it on so the nurses would be able to see when they would come in to check on Karma. I'm not sure how long it took, but I finally drifted off to sleep, curled up in the recliner next to Karma.

My alarm went off at 6am, waking me from the light, crappy sleep that I was in. After sleeping in that recliner, I fully understand why family members get so damn cranky after a few days in the hospital. I got up, quickly checked on Karma who was still sleeping, then left her room. I stopped at the nurse's station and asked them to call me if anything out of the ordinary came up. I also told them I would be back later to check on her. As soon as I left the nurse's station I found my way to the ER physician's lounge, grabbed a shower, dressed in clean scrubs, and grabbed my lab coat and stethoscope from my locker. I desperately needed a caffeine fix so I made my way to the cafeteria where I happened to run into Dr. Robinson.

"Good morning Dr. Raudenfeld. How is your friend doing?" He asked as we both made our way to the coffee.

"She's doing as good as can be expected at this point. She was extubated yesterday, and moved from ICU to the floor. She has a long road ahead of her," I reply as I am securing a lid to my coffee cup.

"Well that is good news. I know that the last couple of days have been difficult, but when she came in you were able to put your personal feelings aside and do your job. Everyone that worked on her case in the ER spoke very highly of you and how you handled yourself. You excelled in a very difficult situation." I've never been very good with compliments, so I just nodded my head as I looked at the floor. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask," he says as we approach the cash register. He motions to the cashier that he would be paying for both coffees, and as he was paying I realized what I needed.

"Dr. Robinson, would it be possible to pick up some extra shifts this week? I'd like to work extra now, so that when Karma is discharged I could possibly take a couple of days to make sure she is settled in at home."

"I don't see why not. I'm short one doc all week on day shift so you can fill in there. Just let me know as soon as you can about her discharge so we can make arrangements."

"Yes sir, I will. Thank you so much Dr. Robinson, I really appreciate it."

"Just keep working hard Amy. What I've seen the last few months is what I knew you were capable of all along. I'm very proud of you," he says before turning to walk away towards the administrative floor. I smiled at that compliment. As I was headed to the ER to start my 7am shift, I was content with myself. I found a way to keep myself busy for the next few days since I wasn't scheduled to work again until next week.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Amy? Amy?" I wanted Amy, but was met with my mom's voice.

"Karma, sweetie, Amy had to get to her shift. She said she would be by later to check on you," Molly said reaching out for my good hand. I feel like I have been hit by a truck. Everything hurts. I thought that all of this had been a nightmare, but when I look down and see all the tubes, the IV, and the cast on my left arm I know that it's not. It's kind of weird. I remember bits of pieces of things, but right now none of it really makes sense. I'm having trouble putting all of it together. My mom and dad stayed with me all morning. Sara came by around lunch. I didn't expect her to stay long, but she stayed the entire time my parents were gone to get lunch. She filled in some of the blanks for me. She told me that with the anesthesia and some of the medicines they were giving me I wouldn't remember everything. I guess that explains all the bits and pieces. She also told me to stay on schedule with my pain medicine because if I got behind it would hit me hard. I guess I fell asleep on her at some point, because the next thing I remember was waking up with my parents back in the room with me.

When dinner rolled around my parents left again, but this time I had a few visitors. Shane, Matthew, Lauren, and Reagan were there. Seeing and hearing Shane and Lauren go back and forth hurt. It hurt to breathe, and when I was laughing at them it hurt even worse. It was definitely a nice change of pace. As much as I was enjoying their company, all I wanted was to see Amy. Amy has always been my rock, and I really wanted and needed her now. My parents came back from dinner and my dad was dragging Liam in by the arm. My time with everyone was amazing, but it ended far to soon. Sara and Amy came in and kicked everyone out for the evening, but I finally got to see Amy.

"Karma we need to remove that chest tube. Your attending said it's ready to come out," Sara says but I couldn't even acknowledge her because I couldn't take my eyes off of Amy. "It's going to be really uncomfortable, but it should be tolerable," Sara continues. I never took my eyes off Amy. When Sara started removing the stitches holding the tube in, Amy reached out and took my hand when I winced in pain.

"It's okay Karms," Amy said reassuring me as she stroked my hair. "Okay she's going to pull the tube now. Ready?" I nod my head and with that I felt the tube sliding out of my chest, and it hurt. Like really hurt. I had tears running out of my eyes when I heard Sara speak.

"Okay, tube's out. Just need to bandage this up." My eyes never left Amy's. All I wanted was for her to talk to me, but she didn't say anything else. "Karma, I'll be back in about an hour. I'll be crashing with you tonight," Sara informs me and with that they both left the room.

About an hour later Sara returns carrying a backpack. Apparently she is spending the night with me. "Where's Amy?" I ask.

"She's down in the ER so you are stuck with me tonight." 

"Oh."

"Really? You don't sound to excited," Sara says giving me a hard time. I just keep quiet. "You know you should feel special. There are a lot of people that would love to spend the night with me," she says wiggling her eyebrows.

"Like who? Reagan?" I reply with a small smile. Sara looks at me with wide eyes and a small blush across her cheeks. "So, how are things with you and Reagan?" I ask watching her flip through one of her triathlete magazines.

"They're fine I guess," she says turning pages and not looking up.

"So are you two finally a couple?" With this she closes the magazine and leans forward in the recliner. At this point I thought she was going to unload on me. I really didn't have any right to dig at her like that, but I can't help myself sometimes.

"No we aren't together. We're just friends." I notice something change in her face when she says that so I keep at. I figured I could blame it one the drugs later if necessary.

"Have you told her that you are crazy about her?" She chuckles a bit at that and I thought I went to far, but then she looks at me and speaks.

"No. I haven't said anything. I'm not sure what good would come of it."

"Are you attracted to her?" Sara just nods. "Are you crazy about her?" Again she just nods, not saying a word. "Does she make your days better by just being there?" I finally get a spoken answer.

"Yes. She means the world to me."

"Then you should tell her. You should tell her how you feel. Trust me, hiding your love for someone because you are scared of what might happen is not the way to go. It will be something that you will regret for the rest of your life. Don't make the same mistakes I made Sara." About that time, my nurse enters the room with my sleeping medicine. Once she gives it to me, I will most likely be out until morning."Thank you for being here with me Sara."

"You're welcome Karma. Now get some sleep," she says before the medicine takes me away to a restful sleep.

 

It's almost been a week since my surgery. All of the tubes I had have been removed. I have been up moving around and eating solid food. I won't call it real food because at the end of the day it is still hospital food. I have been shown so much love and support these past few days from so many people. My parents and Zen have been here everyday. Reagan spent Tuesday night with me and we lost ourselves talking about music. Yesterday I saw Farrah, Mark, and Bruce. Shane, Matthew, Sara, Reagan, Jonathan, Lauren, Ashley, and Liam all came by after dinner. We couldn't all fit in my room so we went to one of the sitting areas outside since the weather was pretty decent. It was another good day, wrapped up with Shane and Ashley arguing over the wardrobe they were going to hook me up with when I finally got to go home. Shane spent Wednesday night with me, but the one person I wanted and needed most really hadn't spent much time with me. Sara told me Amy was working extra shifts in the ER, but I also feel like she is avoiding me. I can't blame her. I can't imagine how much hurt I put her through when I left, no ran away, like I did.

Thursday went by fast. My doctor came in after lunch and told me that I could go home tomorrow. The whole gang came by around dinner, and I really enjoyed their company. Amy came by for a few minutes. She asked if I was okay, and if I needed anything. After that she disappeared. Everyone left but Lauren. It was then she told me she was the one staying with me. I couldn't believe it. I may not get to go home tomorrow because Lauren may smother me with a pillow before tomorrow gets here. She was trying to get settled in while I channel surfed. Neither one of us said anything, but the silence was killing me. I couldn't help myself, so I tried to break the ice.

"How's the wedding planning going? Reagan told me back in Nashville that you were engaged." As soon as I finished I got a signature Lauren look. I'm screwed. I just unleashed a tiny demon. Her patented shit-eating smile spread across her face.

"The wedding planning? It's going really well. Getting married in June. But Karma, this small talk bullshit is unnecessary. I am only here in case you need anything. I'm not going to pretend that we are friends, especially after what you did to Amy. What you have done to Amy through the years." I didn't really know how to respond to that so I got defensive.

"You don't know anything Lauren. You-," she cut me off before I could finish.

"I know everything I need to know." At this point she was passed pissed and was out of the recliner standing over me next to my bed. "I know Amy has been in love with you since high school. Ten fucking years Karma! And the night you both graduated you led her on yet again and then fucking bailed when shit got a little to real for you. You left and didn't say shit to anyone. You didn't really need to, but Amy at least deserved an explanation." She stopped talking like she was wanting me to respond, but I didn't. There was nothing I could say because she was right. "I am probably out of line for saying this, but I don't give a shit at this point. Someone needs to say it," she said as she sat down on the edge of my bed, her face softening quite a bit. "Amy gave up on you ever being in love with her years ago. She put those thoughts, those possibilities behind her. And then you two go and sleep together, and all of her boxed up and buried feelings came back. They never left Karma. She thought that it meant she was finally enough for you, that she was enough for you to finally love her and want to be with her." I couldn't believe Amy would ever think that she wasn't enough for me. If anything I was never enough for her.

"Lauren that night meant everything to me. It was the most perfect thing that I have ever had in my life. I panicked like I always do where Amy is concerned because I can't imagine a world where I would ever be enough for her."

"Well, I think I could agree with you on that Ashcroft, but for Amy...you're everything." We had an amazing conversation full of tears, laughter, and a lot of tough love from Lauren. She told me Amy hit rock bottom after she came back from Nashville. She started drinking more, totaled her classic 1966 Mustang, and basically started living like life didn't matter. She said that Sara caught Amy self medicating with prescription pills, and that she has never seen Sara that pissed. But whatever she did to Amy straightened her ass out. I can't believe it got so bad for her that she almost failed out of her residency program. Lauren said it took her months to get some normalcy back in life. At this point Lauren had gotten comfortable in the recliner and I thought she had dozed off.

"Lauren, is Amy avoiding me? I mean I can't really blame her." Lauren sat up and looked at me sternly.

"She's not really avoiding you as much as she is trying to protect her heart." When Lauren spoke those words, my heart broke. I can't believe how careless I have been with Amy. I have hurt her so much. "Amy would kill me if she knew I told you this, but she hasn't left the hospital since you got here. Yeah, she's working the ER during the day but she has spent every night sleeping in an on call room down the hall. She has come in and sat with you every night after you go to sleep. She's also off all weekend so she can be with you when you are discharged." I can't help myself, but hearing this made me cry. 

"I love her so much. I am in love with her Lauren. I am in love with Amy, and I will spend everyday for the rest of my life proving to her that that is true." Even with that heart felt and truthful admission, I am still getting the death stare from Lauren. And suddenly, the corners of her mouth creep up into a big grin.

"I know you will Karma. Because if you don't, or if you even think about doing any kind of dumb shit that hurts her...I will end you." The look in her eyes tells me she means every word of what she just said. A few minutes later, my nurse comes in and gives me my medicine. I nod off knowing that I get to go home with Amy tomorrow.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

My alarm goes off at 6am and I make my way to the ER physician's lounge for a shower. I then head down to the cafeteria for a couple of cups of coffee before I go and relieve Lauren of "Karma duty." Everyone has been amazing this week. They have not only been there for Karma, but they have been there for me too. Today should be interesting. Karma is getting discharged and coming to stay at our house. Everyone thought it would be a good idea to make themselves scarce, giving us the house to ourselves. When I get to Karma's room, I quietly enter and find Lauren awake playing on her phone while Karma is sound asleep. Lauren takes her coffee, tells me she will see me tomorrow, and heads out the door. I sit down in the recliner and watch Karma sleep. The bruising on her face is starting to go away, and the swelling is pretty much gone at this point. Now I can see both of her eyes. Hopefully she will sleep most of the morning to minimize any interaction between us before she gets discharged. I see Karma start stirring a bit, then I hear her mumbling. She's talking in her sleep.

"I'm sorry Amy. I'm so so sorry." She keeps stirring and jerking in the bed. It looks like she is having a bad dream. When I see tears flow down her cheeks, I go to her to wake her up.

"Karma. Karma, wake up." I say slightly shaking her. "Karma, c'mon wake up." With that she bolts awake with a look of sheer panic on her face and sobbing heavily. I immediately slide up next to her in the bed and wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. "Shhhh. It's okay. It was just a bad dream. I'm here," I say slowly rocking her. She is tense in my arms for a few seconds, before she relaxes completely. "It's okay Karms. It's was just a bad dream. You're okay." It takes a while before she finally calms down. Around lunch time her treating physician comes in to discharge her. A couple of hours later, and one quick stop at the Ashcroft residence, we are finally pulling into the driveway at our house. The guys doing our renovations finished up early this morning and Lauren said the house looks great. Sara got moved downstairs and there is an amazing home studio set up down there for Reagan and Karma, thanks to Liam and Ashley. Karma will be in Sara's old room, just through the bathroom from me. Everyone pitched in and Karma will have everything she could ever need, with a couple more surprises on the way.

"You okay?" I ask Karma as she is being way to quiet for the Karma I know.

"Yeah. Amy are you sure this is a good idea, me moving in and all. I don't mind staying with my par-," I cut her off before she could finish.

"Yes. Everyone wants you here. This is where you belong Karma. Let all of us take care of you and help you get back to normal, okay?" She doesn't verbally answer, but she does give me a small nod.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I can't believe that everyone wants me here, to move into this house with them, especially after everything with me and Amy. After what I did to her, I can't believe that she would want me around. I hear her car door open and she hops out coming around to my side of the car. She opens the door for me and extends her hand helping me out of her car. We finally make it inside and I notice that nothing has really changed. I slowly walk through the living room, looking at all the framed photos. There are photos of all of us. Me, Amy, Lauren, Shane, Liam. Photos from all of our big life moments. Senior prom, high school graduation, college graduations, law school graduation, medical school graduation. Those memories are all here in pictures. The photos don't change much, except to add the newest members of "our family." I hear Amy stumbling out of the kitchen, stuffing her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I think maybe I should lie down and take a nap before dinner."

"Okay, but it's just going to be us for dinner. C'mon, you're going to love your room." I fall into step behind Amy and we head upstairs. Those stairs were never a problem for me before, but I barely made it up them. I am so tired and weak. I see Amy stop at Sara's door. "Sara moved downstairs in the basement so this is your room." Amy opens the door and I walk in. What I see takes my breath away. I am overwhelmed by the love and kindness. "All of us wanted to make sure you were going to be okay," Amy says behind me. I'm speechless. This room is fully furnished and is beautiful. "Ashley and Shane wanted to make sure you had decent clothes, so the rest of us weren't allowed to help with that." I opened one dresser drawer after the next, all of them filled with clothes. I turn to go into the small walk-in closet and see that it is full of clothes too. I look at Amy and can't hold back the tears any longer.

"Amy. I don't know what to say." I can't stop crying. I feel my knees getting weak, so I walk over to the bed, and sit down. Amy makes her way over to me, sits down beside me, and gently drapes her arm over my shoulders.

"Just say thank you. We all care about you Karma. Don't ever forget that." She gives me a small squeeze and looks me in the eye. "Get some rest. I'll be downstairs if you need me." I watch her leave my room, closing the door behind her. I crawl into bed and try to sleep, but it's futile at this point. After a couple of hours, I get up and head to the bathroom. As I was washing my face I heard Amy moving stuff around her room. I knock, waiting for permission to enter. She comes and opens the bathroom door then steps to the side, allowing me in. There is a little bit of an awkward silence before she finally speaks up.

"Did you have a good nap?" I can't get the words out, so I just nod my head. I'm just looking around her room, memories coming back to me, remembering everything we did, everything we shared. I feel tears hanging in my eyes when Amy speaks again. "So, I um...I uh...I have something for you. It's your graduation present." I watch as she disappears into her closet. When she comes back she is holding a guitar case. "I had to special order it. I ordered it over spring break our last semester and it was supposed to be here the day before we graduated, but it didn't arrive until the Monday after graduation," she says placing the case on her bed. I am speechless. I am looking back and forth between her and the guitar case on her bed. "Well, go ahead, open it," she says with a small smile. I take a deep breath, and slowly undo the latches on the case. After all the latches are open, Amy helps me lift the lid. When I see what's inside, I cover my mouth with my hand and start crying. Amy notices that I'm frozen and not moving so she pulls the guitar out of the case and starts showing it off. "It's the EMD Mini Maton Diesel Special," she says, motioning for me to sit down on the edge of the bed. As I sit down she places the guitar in my lap. "It has a solid Sitka spruce top with solid blackwood back and sides. It's also got a pick-up so you can plug in and play." Tears are pouring down my cheeks. I don't know what to say. I feel my mouth opening and closing, but nothing's coming out. The only thing more amazing and more beautiful than the guitar in my lap is the girl sitting next to me. "I wanted you to have a legit, solid wood guitar Karms. For when you make it big." I stood up slowly and put the guitar back in the case.

"Amy I don't know what to say. It's the best gift ever. I can't believe you kept it all this time." I really want to hug her but I'm not sure if it would be okay with her. I'm pretty sure she notices my awkwardness because she pulls me in for a hug. This moment has gotten so heavy, so quick that I feel like I can't catch my breath, but Amy being Amy took care of it.

"You know mini guitars for short people are hard to come by, especially good ones," she says pulling away, giving me a wink. "Let's go downstairs. Pizza is on the way and Netflix is ready to go." Once the pizza got here, we settled in on the couch, and I conceded movie selection to Amy. She was genuinely surprised at that, and she went straight to the documentaries. She picked one on off-shore drilling and the Deep Horizon Gulf Coast disaster. At some point I fell asleep because Amy was there to gently wake me up. She got me upstairs, made sure I took my medicine, and tucked me in. "I'm right next door if you need anything." I nodded and watched her disappear through our shared bathroom. Within minutes I was back asleep.

"No Tyler stop! I said stop it, you're hurting me. No! Please don't hit me. No. Stop. Amy! Amy!"

"Karma. Karma. Wake up Karms." I wake up and can't catch my breath and I've broken out in a cold sweat. It takes a minute before I realize that I'm wrapped in Amy's arms. "It's okay Karma. It was just a bad dream. It's going to be okay," Amy says as she is rocking me in her arms. I finally settled down a few minutes later, and once I could find my voice I spoke.

"Amy will you stay? Will you sleep with me tonight?" She didn't say anything, but she moved down in the bed into her normal big spoon position. I laid down in front of her, and she snuggled up to me, pulling me close, her arm draped around my waist with her hand holding the hand under my chin. I could feel her breath on my neck, and being in her arms made me feel safe.

"Good night Karms."

"Good night Aims."

The sunlight creeping through the windows woke me up a few hours later. I smiled a small smile when I realized I survived my first night home and that after my nightmare of Tyler hitting me again it was Amy who was there to hold me. To comfort me, and make me feel safe. Amy had always been there. I didn't want to wake Amy up so I was very careful when I rolled over. I expected to see her and that mop of messy blonde hair covering the pillow next to me, but all I found was a cold, empty bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Going to sleep in Amy's arms was wonderful. Waking up to an empty bed knocked the breath out of me. Not waking up with her next to me hurt, but I would be a fool to think that she would be there. As much pain and heartbreak that I have caused her through the years, I'm sure her walls are back up and I can't really blame her. I roll over and look at the clock...749am. I huff out a deep breath and slowly sit up on the edge of the bed. It's been a week since it happened and I'm slowly starting to feel better, but I'm moving around like I'm seventy years old. I finally get to my feet and slowly walk to the bathroom. I really want to take a long, hot shower, but with this cast on my left arm I'm not really sure how that will happen. I stand at the sink looking at myself in the mirror. Most of the swelling has gone away, but I still have some puffiness around my left eye. The discoloration on the left side of my face makes me look like I went a few rounds in the ring with Mike Tyson. I get a quick shower, unable to wash my hair, and head downstairs to the kitchen by 9am. As I walk into the kitchen I see Reagan sitting at the island, drinking a cup of coffee, and playing on her iPad. 

"Hey you. How are you feeling?" 

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I am so sore. Everything aches."

"How'd you sleep?" 

"Not bad. Actually got a few hours of pretty good sleep." Reagan puts her iPad on the counter top and gets up, walking to the sink.

"That's good. So, are you feeling up to getting out of here for a few hours?" she asks putting her coffee cup in the sink. "We'll be back around lunch. Everyone else will too. We usually fire up the grill, hang out, and watch football on Saturdays." I actually did want to get out of the house so I agreed. Reagan helped me into her SUV, then hopped into the driver's seat and we were off. It didn't escape me that the house was empty.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, Lauren had a meeting with her wedding planner. I'm guessing Shane crashed with Matthew last night, and Sara and Amy disappear every Saturday morning when they aren't working." I guess she could see the curiosity written across my face. "They get up pretty early and hit the gym, go for a run, a swim, hell I'm not always sure. They are gone when everyone wakes up, but they usually show up around lunch time." I nod then turn my attention back out the passenger window. 

"Where are we going?" still staring out the window. I patiently wait for an answer, but Reagan stays quiet. A couple of minutes later we are pulling up at what looks like some type of salon.

"We figured you could use a girly day. You know hair, manicure, pedicure."

"Reagan this is one of the best spas in Austin. I can't afford this," I tell her.

"Money isn't a problem. Let's go," she says getting out of the SUV and walking to the passenger side to help me out. "Don't tell her I told you, but this is all Amy. She wanted this for you." I don't know what to say so I just go along with it. It actually is a great idea. I'll be able to get my hair washed. 

A couple of hours later we are back in Reagan's SUV headed home and I kind of feel like the old me. I got the full work-up: hair, manicure, pedicure, and even a facial. The best part was getting my hair washed. I swear we all take so many things for granted. When we get there the house is packed. Everyone is there, and I mean everyone. I look around and see my parents, Farrah, Bruce, Zen. I'm still processing all of this when I hear a man's voice behind me.

"Karma." I turn around and see Hank, Amy's dad, standing there. "Sweetie, I'm so glad that you are okay," he says giving me a hug. He started coming around more our last year in high school and moved back to Austin permanently when Amy started medical school. Their relationship has actually grown into a decent father/daughter relationship.

"It's nice to see you Hank," I tell him when we both pull back from the hug. 

"I can't stay. I have to get to the game, but I wanted to see you first." There is an awkward pause before he speaks again. "Karma, look out for my little girl," he says motioning toward Amy. When I look up, Amy and I make eye contact and she gives me a small smile. In that moment I felt like time stood still. When I could finally speak I turned back to Hank.

"I will. I promise," I tell him before he walks out the front door. All of this is a little overwhelming. It seems like I'm good for a few hours and then I tank, both physically and mentally. I'm starting to hurt so I make my way to kitchen for a bottle of water and some crackers. I need to take my pain medicine and Sara told me to always take it with food. After I get what I need from the kitchen, I sneak away to my room. As soon as I got comfortable in my bed for a nap, I hear a knock on the bedroom door. As I sit up on the bed, Reagan makes her way across the room.

"You okay Karma?" she asks sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

"Yeah. I'm just starting to hurt a bit, and I'm feeling pretty tired. I thought I would try a nap and see if that helps," I tell her.

"Alright. I just wanted to check on you to make sure you were okay," she says playing with an envelope in her hands. After I thank her for checking on me she hands me the envelope. "Remember when I told you back in Nashville that so many people here in Austin love you and care for you?" I nod telling her I did remember. "Well, when you are having your doubts just remember these." I open the envelope to find a small stack of photos. All of them are in black and white. As I go through them I see photos of mom, dad, and Zen. There are also pictures of Farrah, Mark, Bruce, Lauren, Jonathan, Shane, Matthew, Liam, Ashley, Sara, and Amy. "I took these when you were in surgery. We were all there that night." I started tearing up as I realized that there were a lot of people there for me.

"Thank you Reagan."

"You're welcome. Get some rest. You know where to find us if you need anything," she says before she stands and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her. I'm still looking at the photos she left me. I can't believe that I am this lucky to have so many people that care about me. I stop at the one of Amy. She's sitting there in the waiting room, chin propped up on her hands, leaning forward on the chair. She looks exhausted and scared. I have no idea how I will make things right with Amy, but I do know I will do whatever it takes to fix this. I lean over and put the stack of photos on the nightstand, then snuggle down in the bed, and drift off to sleep.

 

I woke up last night to Karma screaming in her sleep. Seeing her like this is heartbreaking. When I went to wake her up and reassure her she was safe, she surprised me by asking me to sleep with her. I was scared to, but I've never really been able to say no to Karma. I didn't have the heart to tell her no after seeing how scared she was. I snuggled down in the bed, holding her, and it brought back so many memories from our last night together. It has always felt so good to have her in my arms, but right now I know Lauren is right, and I need to protect my heart through all of this. As soon as she was back to sleep, I slipped out of bed and went back to my room.

I got a few hours of sleep before my alarm went off. Saturday mornings are spent with Sara if neither of us is working. This morning we went to the gym and while she was in the pool, I went and pounded on the heavy bag. We got back to the house right before lunch. Reagan sent me a text to let me know she took Karma for her "spa day." I want to be there for her and take care of her, but I'm to scared to open up to her again. People are really good at leaving me, and when she left it almost destroyed me. I can't go back to that place, so I am doing my best to love her and take care of her from a distance.

Sara and I got back home around lunch and the whole gang was there, except Karma and Reagan. We were doing our usual game day ritual. The boys were out back manning the grills and mom and Lauren were in the kitchen. Hank came by to check on me and Karma. He couldn't stay long since he had to get to the stadium. He does free lance sports photography now so he's on the sideline for every home football game. Reagan and Karma got back around 1pm. When I saw Karma walk through the door, my heart skipped a beat. She is still as beautiful as ever, wearing jeans, a UT t-shirt, and a bright pink cast. I saw my dad talking to her before he left, and for a brief moment we made eye contact. She gave me small smile, and I swear time stopped in that moment. I made my way out back to hang out with Sara and the boys, but I was driving myself crazy worrying about Karma. After an hour or so I couldn't take it so I went back in the house and upstairs to check on Karma.

When I walked through our bathroom, I could see that she was still sleeping. I sat down on the edge of the bed, but when I did I somehow managed to wake her up. "Amy?"

"Yeah, I'm right here. Is everything okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I just started hurting a bit and was really tired. I thought it would be a good idea to take a nap," she says sitting up against the headboard. As soon as she gets situated, her stomach rumbles, embarrassing her a little.

"Sounds like someone may be a little hungry," I say giving her a playful grin.

"Yeah, I haven't really eaten much today."

"Well, let's take care of that. There's a ton of food downstairs, and you are kind of sleeping through your welcome home party." I stand and extend my hand to her, helping her out of bed. That girl still has it. One small touch from her and I feel like I have been hit by a lightning bolt. As soon as she is on her feet, I let go of her hand, and follow her downstairs. We make it into the kitchen before Molly and mom are loving all over her. I couldn't help but smile. I found a seat in the living room, and I don't know what was more fun to watch, the actual game on television or Bruce and Sara arguing about best defenses in college football. 

After the game, everyone slowly started leaving. Soon all that was left were those of us that live here, with the exception of Reagan. I noticed Reagan pulling Karma downstairs and at the same time Sara is pulling on my arm. "C'mon we are going with them. I want to see all the cool stuff too. I also know you want to see Karma's face when she see's the studio," she says dragging me down the stairs. I hadn't been down here since all the renovations had been completed, but I was shocked when I saw everything. Liam and Ashley really went all out on the equipment. I saw Reagan and Karma standing over what was probably a mixing board when Sara nudged me and pointed out a couple of guitars and a really big keyboard. She leaned over and whispered, "Holy shit! That's a Nord 2 stage piano." I look at Sara and see that she looks like a kid on Christmas morning. She pulls me over to where the instruments are when I hear Reagan.

"Don't touch anything! This stuff is really expensive." Sara chuckles and whispers to me again.

"Yeah, that Nord retails for almost six grand." I can't help but laugh. Reagan has no idea about Sara, and I know she doesn't know anything about my lessons with Kate. I look up and see that Karma and Reagan are in a deep conversation. I look back at Sara and she has this shit-eating grin on her face. I know she is about to give the Nord a test run. She turns the power on and starts playing, of all things, chopsticks.

"What the fuck Sara? I told you not to touch anything. You two don't have any idea how expensive this stuff is, and I really don't want to explain to Liam or Ashley that one of you messed something up," Reagan snaps as she walks over to us.

"C'mon Reagan. We aren't going to mess anything up," I tell her, but it clearly doesn't go over to well.

"You two don't have the first clue about any of this, and I really don't want you guys down here messing around. I can't afford for either of you to fuck anything up," Reagan says sternly. I look over at Karma and she seems to be as surprised as I am with how Reagan is acting. I look over at Sara and the shit is about to hit the fan. When Reagan gets like this, Sara is quick to call her on her shit.

"You really need to stop with the arrogant and condescending attitude Reagan. That shit pisses me off."

"And you need to get your ass up and away from that keyboard," Reagan yells back.

"You are such a judgmental asshole sometimes."

"Fuck you Sara!"

"Fuck me? Really? Okay, let's see what this bad boy can do," Sara says as she sits down behind the keyboard.

"Sara I'm warn-,"

"Shut. Up," Sara says cutting her off and then she begins playing. Reagan doesn't seem to be amused, and I really don't think this is registering yet because she is so worked up.

"Für Elise? Really? Damn near everyone with a piano background can play that," Reagan says as Sara continues to play. Sara's eyes never leave Reagan's, as they are both giving each other death stares.

"Okay, so you don't like Beethoven. How 'bout a little Chopin...Aeolian Harp." She starts playing and I am blown away. I look over at Karma and she is all smiles, while Reagan...well Reagan's eyes are big as saucers and she looks like she is frozen.

"Sara. I-," Reagan tries but is interrupted by Sara.

"Don't like Chopin either? Okay well let's switch gears...jazz maybe? Most people like this one. Count Basie's Blue and Sentimental," and her eyes drop back to the keyboard as she starts a new song. Reagan is the only person who can set Sara off like this, and when she does, Sara usually destroys her. Much like she is doing now. She plays for another forty-five seconds or so before Reagan tries to speak again.

"Sara-."

"Okay, you aren't feeling Basie either. Maybe a little more modern and edgy," she says shifting on the piano bench still giving Reagan a death glare. I immediately recognize the tune, We Made It by Linkin Park. I look over at Reagan and now she looks a bit defeated. When she hangs her head, Sara strikes again. "To much? Okay. Well this one is the one that made me take up piano to start with." I recognize this tune too. I drop my eyes at this point because it's from Titanic, the song playing when Jack is sketching a naked Rose. As Sara is playing I notice Karma has settled right next to me, and I feel her hand slide down my forearm into my hand. I look down at our hands for a brief second before looking back up at Karma. I try to smile, and I give her hand a small squeeze before letting it go. I look back to Sara who seems to have witnessed that little interaction between me and Karma. She stops playing, not even finishing the song, and looks up at the ceiling. Reagan tries another time.

"Sara I-."

"Shut. Up." I can't tell if Sara is tearing up because she is pissed or because she is hurt. She looks at Karma, I look back and forth between them. It seems they are both on the same page because Karma smiles at her with tears running down her cheeks, then starts nodding her head. I look back at Sara and she takes a deep breath. "Reagan, I fucking hate when you act like a judgmental asshole, especially to me."

"Sara," Reagan tries but this time its Karma shutting her up.

"Reagan just listen to her, okay?" I am totally lost at this point and so is Reagan. 

"Reagan you are so much more than that. I wish you could see it," Sara says looking back down at the keyboard. She begins quietly playing a song that I haven't heard before, but it is beautiful. "I've never really been good at this sort of thing. I don't have much experience with all of this. Music has always been my escape," she says still playing. She finally makes eye contact with Reagan. "Music has always been my way of communicating when I couldn't find the words. When I was to scared to say something, to say anything. If you're going to crash and burn, make it memorable right," Sara says with an uneasy laugh. She looks so nervous right now, and then it hit me. She's finally going to tell Reagan. She's still playing, a bit louder now and it's beautiful. Then she shocks us all when she starts singing.

On the days I can't see your eyes  
I don't even want to open mine  
On the days I can't see your smile  
Well, I'd rather sit and wait the while  
For the days I know you'll be near  
'Cause a day without you just isn't fair  
See the days I can hear your voice  
I'm left without a choice

Plus I get weak in the knees  
Fall head over heels, baby  
And every other cheesy cliché  
Yes, I'm swept off my feet  
Oh, my heart skips a beat  
But there's really only one thing to say:

Yeah, you're beautiful  
To me, you're everything,   
Yeah, that's beautiful to me.

I look over at Reagan, and at this point it looks like she couldn't put together two words if her life depended on it. Her eyes are glued to Sara.

I can't find the words to explain  
Just how much you got me going insane  
When you speak to me sometimes we fight  
Oh, I stutter my words, I say never mind  
'Cause even when you just walk by  
Well, I look around to seem occupied

Sara looks up from the keyboard and her eyes find Reagan's.

'Cause I'm trying so hard to hide  
Yeah, all of these feelings inside

'Cause I get weak in the knees  
Fall head over heels, baby  
And every other cheesy cliché  
Oh, I'm swept off my feet  
Oh, my heart skips a beat  
But there's really only one thing to say:

Yes, you're beautiful to me,  
I reach over to Karma and slide my hand down the inside of her forearm.

oh, you're everything,  
The moment Sara sings everything, I intertwine our fingers. 

Yeah, that's beautiful, yes, to me.  
"Come with me," I whisper to Karma, knowing that Sara and Reagan will need a minute when Sara finishes, and we head toward the stairs.

Yes, to me.

 

She's playing the piano interlude now, as Karma and I stop at the bottom of the stairs. I can't believe how awesome this is. Reagan is crying, Karma is crying, and Sara is pouring her heart into this. I knew she could play like this, but I had no idea she could sing. If this doesn't convince Reagan, I don't know what will.

Yeah, you're beautiful  
Yeah, you're beautiful  
Yes, you're beautiful  
To me. To me.

As soon as she finishes the last vocal Karma and I walk hand-in-hand back upstairs. When we get to the top of the stairs we hear Sara play the last chord.

 

A/N: Sara played the following songs:

1\. Für Elise by Beethoven  
2\. Étude Op. 25, No. 1 "Aeolian Harp' by Chopin  
3\. Blue and Sentimental by Count Basie  
4\. We Made It by Linkin Park ft. Busta Rhymes  
5\. The Portrait by James Horner  
6\. You're Beautiful (Clean Version) by Chester See


	10. Chapter 10

What the hell just happened? One minute I'm talking to Karma about the mixing board and the next minute Sara is playing the piano like she's performing in Carnegie Hall. AND SINGING! Where the hell did that come from? I didn't know she could play. Why...oh fuck! Did she just...did she just tell me she's into me? Sara's into me. Shit. Sara's into me, right? I mean that's basically what she just said, well sang, to me. Sara's into me. I'm into Sara. Sara just told me, no just sang, putting her heart out there. She just took a leap and she's hoping I catch her. Damn it! I haven't said anything yet. I'm just staring at her. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a lady-slayer, always full of confidence, and I'm standing here with tears running down my face because Sara scares the shit out of me. Fuck, look away. Look down at the keyboard. My eyes are listening to my brain right now, thank God. Dry that shit up now Reagan. No crying! Now I'm staring at the keyboard. What do I say? Can I even say anything? Can I do this? Am I ready for any of this after Jordan? Shit, she's not talking. She's not saying anything either. Look up Reagan. Look at her. My eyes slowly trail up meeting her gaze. I feel my mouth opening and closing, but words are lost on me. I can't speak, and I guess that's okay because she breaks the silence.

"Reagan are you okay?" She asks me with a shaky voice. I can hear the nervousness in her voice, and she's so far from being her normal, confident self. "Reagan, please say something." Her eyes are now searching mine. Searching for something. Anything.

"Um...uh I...you pl- you play? I d-didn't know you played," I stuttered. Shit! Face palm. Like right fucking now. Smooth Reagan. Real smooth. She tells me she's crazy about me and all I can fucking say is I didn't know you played. I am having a fucking meltdown inside my own head.

"Yeah. Been playing since eighth grade," she says still searching my face. Her eyes aren't leaving mine, and my God are her eyes beautiful. "You know Reagan, there's a lot you don't know about me," she says getting up from behind the keyboard and walking around it, stopping right in front of me. "You know, I've wanted to say something...to tell you, for so long now." Her eyes drop to the small space of floor between us, and after a few seconds, they return to mine. God she's beautiful...and tall. She's like four inches taller than me. I've never been with someone that much taller. What the hell Reagan, get your shit together! You've got this amazing woman standing in front of you telling you she's crazy about you...too! "I've wanted to tell you for almost two years." I open my mouth but nothing comes out. What if she's like Jordan? I mean I know she's into guys too, so what if she is just like Jordan? What if she changes her mind and she decides she would rather be with a guy than me? My head drops so I can look anywhere but at her. I see her hand come up slowly, up under my chin, and she slowly brings my chin up so I can look at her. I feel a shiver shoot through my spine at her touch. I see a small smile come across her face.

"Reagan. I um. I was uh. If you um, if you don't have plans tomorrow night, would you like to go out to dinner? With me. Like um- a date. A first date." She's still smiling. God her smile is perfect. Her eyes are so full of hope and excitement. Tell her yes you dumb ass. Tell her hell yes!

"Sara. I...I um," and at my hesitation her face drops and I can see the disappointment and hurt in her eyes. "Sara-,"

"Reagan," she says cutting me off. "It's okay."

"But Sara-," I try again.

"Reagan really, it's okay," she says through half a smile before turning and walking away towards the stairs. Damn it! You need to go after her. C'mon, move your ass. I look up and see that Sara is only a couple of steps away from the bottom of the stairs. I can't let her walk away. Not after this. I take off running after her. I make it to the bottom step before she does, and I hop up on it and turn to face her.

"Sara wait." The step I'm standing on corrects the height difference between us, putting me at eye level with her. I see a tear hanging in her left eye. My gaze drops to her lips, and I slowly look back to her eyes. I don't have the words, so I do the only thing I can think of. I place both hands on her cheeks, cupping her face, and lean forward placing a very soft kiss on her lips. As soon as our lips touch I feel her arms wrap tightly around my waist, pulling me closer to her. The kiss was perfect and it felt like it lasted forever, but in reality it only lasted a few seconds. We both pulled away slowly and she broke the silence.

"So is that a yes to our date tomorrow night?" she asks still holding me close. I smile at her and nod my head in place of actually saying yes. She lets out a small laugh, "You know, if you don't learn how to talk before tomorrow night you're going to be a really shitty date." And in that moment I was able to find my voice.

"I'll be the best date you ever had," I say with a smirk.

"I know," she says before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

"You know, Amy has been giving me hell for months, telling me I needed to ask you out," I say to Sara still wrapped in her arms.

"Really? She's been giving me hell for almost a year now, telling me the same thing."

"Well, what did she say to get you to say something, especially the way you did?

"It wasn't Amy." When I hear this I get confused and Sara must have seen the confusion on my face because she continues, "It was Karma."

"Karma? What...how did she convince you to finally say something?

"She told me to not make the same mistakes she made and that I shouldn't hide my feelings for you from you because I would regret it the rest of my life."

"Sounds like she is finally getting it, and I'm happy you told me," I say pulling away from her, taking her hand in mine, and pulling her over to one of the sofa's in the open floor studio space. After we both sit down, me snuggled into her side, I ask, "This wasn't planned was it? I mean you totally winged it right?"

"No, it wasn't planned. I mean you really pissed me off being all judgmental and making assumptions. All I really wanted to do was put you in your place."

"Well you most certainly did. You are an amazing pianist. That Chopin piece is no joke." She chuckles a little before replying.

"Yeah, no shit. When I was learning it during college I stayed pissed off for an entire semester because I just couldn't get it. Then one day I nailed it and that was that."

"Well, while you were putting me in my place, what happened to make you finally want to say something? I'm guessing Karma had something to do with it. I mean she told me to shut up and listen to you."

Yeah, remind me to thank her later," she says playfully while throwing a gentle elbow into my side. "When I was playing the James Horner piece from Titanic I noticed she settled next to Amy and slid her hand into Amy's. But Amy looked at their hands, looked up at Karma, tried to smile, and gently pulled her hand away. The look of hurt and understanding on Karma's face...and remembering what she said to me about not hiding my feelings from you. So I said what the hell and went for it."

"Yeah, remind me to thank her later too," I say to Sara, but I notice that her mind has went off somewhere. "What are you thinking?" I ask, playing with her fingers.

"Just wondering if those two will ever get their shit together and work it out. I know that they are both crazy in love with each other, and it's complicated as hell."

"Yeah, I think they will eventually. Karma just needs to be patient and understanding. Amy will probably need a kick in the ass at some point though."

"So they're going to need our help at some point? Is that what you are saying Rea?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Lauren will have a field day with it." We both laugh at that and I can't help but think that being with Sara like this feels so right. "So Beethoven, tell me how you came to be this amazing musician." She pulls me into her and kisses my forehead.

"Nope! That's for tomorrow night," she says proudly and I can't help but wonder what she's got up her sleeve for our first date.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When we got to the top of the stairs I heard Sara play the last note. I can't believe she finally told Reagan. That impromptu performance was amazing! I can't wait to find out how it went after me and Karma slipped away. I was still lost in everything that just happened and I didn't realize we had walked into the kitchen.

"Great timing. Can you help me get the kitchen cleaned up?" Lauren asked, turning around to face us when I noticed her eyes dropped to our hands. She then looked back up at both of us with narrow eyes, giving me her "what the fuck Amy" look. I finally realized that I was still holding Karma's hand and that is what Lauren was getting at.

"Yeah, what do you need me to do?" I asked her, dropping Karma's hand and walking toward the kitchen sink.

"Start rinsing dishes and load the dishwasher," Lauren said to me before turning to Karma. "Karma, Amy and I can get this." Karma looked at Lauren, then over to me before speaking.

"Okay. I'm gonna go upstairs. It's been a long day. Thank you for today, for everything," she said. She dropped her eyes to the floor, turned and walked out of the kitchen. I could feel Lauren's eyes burning into my back and I knew it was it coming in three, two, one.

"Care to explain the shit I just saw?" Lauren asked, arms folded across her chest.

"Well Sara basically told Reagan she was head-over-heels for her so I grabbed Karma and we came back upstairs so they could have some privacy," I told Lauren, hoping that it would take her attention off of me.

"Yeah, like I didn't see that one coming, but nice try. I'm not letting you distract me from this. Amy, what did I tell you? Hmm. You can't sink yourself into her shit again."

"We were holding hands Lauren not having sex on the kitchen counter. It's not a big-,"

"It's not a big deal?" she said, shutting me up. "Bullshit Amy! I call bullshit. Nothing has never not been a big deal between you two. Whether you want to admit it or not, both of you are vulnerable right now with everything that has gone on and if you aren't careful, one or both of you will wind up hurt."

"Whatever Lauren," I snap back to her as I continued loading the dishwasher.

"Don't whatever me Amy. She's been here for twenty-four hours and you're holding hands. Hell, I bet you two were in bed together last night." My face and emotions betrayed me. "Jesus Christ Amy! Really?"

"Lauren it's not like that. She wanted me to stay after her nightmare. I left and went back to my room as soon as she went back to sleep," I said trying to explain myself to Lauren, but she wasn't having it.

"I don't care about that Amy. All I'm saying is be careful and think about the shit you do before you do it because God knows that Karma has never been good at that. I don't want to see you get hurt again...and I don't want to see Karma get hurt either." Neither one of us said anything after that. We just got back to cleaning up the kitchen. When we were done I told Lauren good night and went to my room. I could hear the shower going in the bathroom, so I just fell onto my bed staring at the ceiling. About an hour later I decided to check on Karma. I walked through the bathroom and found her sound asleep, buried under her blanket. She looked so beautiful. She's always looked beautiful while she was sleeping. Before I realized what I was doing, I leaned over and softly kissed her forehead. I turned the small lamp off that was sitting on her nightstand and went back to my room.

Why can't I just shut my mind off and go to sleep? I've been tossing and turning all damn night. I roll over and grab my phone off the nightstand...2:58am. Great. Another sleepless night. Since I couldn't sleep I decided to turn on Netflix to see if anything new was available. As I'm scrolling through I hear Karma talking. I thought she might be talking in her sleep and as I walk through the bathroom it sounds like she's crying too. I turn on the small bedside lamp and when I look at her I see that she is mumbling incoherently in her sleep with tears running down her cheeks.

"Karma," I say while gently shaking her shoulder. "Karma wake up." She's starting to move around in the bed. "C'mon Karms, wake up," as I shake her a bit harder. She bolts up into a sitting position, gasping for air. "It was just a bad dream Karma. You're okay. You're safe," I say reaching for her hand, trying to reassure her. After a couple of minutes, her breathing slows to normal and she's calmed down. "Karma are the bad dreams new? Have they just started in the last few days?"

"Uh, No. Not really," she says picking at the part of cast between her thumb and first finger. "I usually don't have them every night."

"How long have you been having them?" I ask seeing the embarrassment in her eyes. She drops her eyes to her hands.

"Since April. Three or four times a week."

"Okay. I'll call a colleague of mine tomorrow about getting you a prescription that will help you sleep. You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea if you talked to someone, a professional, about everything."

"Amy, I can't afford that," she says looking back up at me with sad eyes.

"Karma let me worry about that. You just need to focus on getting better, okay?" She nods her head. "So if I schedule it, you will give counseling a try?"

"If you think it's what is best, I'll do it. I'll do whatever you think I need to do."

"Okay. I just want you to get better Karma."

"Me too." After a brief pause Karma adds, "So, how bad was it with Lauren?"

"I don't know what-,"

"Amy don't play dumb," she says cutting me off. "I know Lauren well enough to know she gave you a lecture about me, and probably some type of warning about falling down my rabbit hole again." Without thinking I opened my big mouth.

"Actually it was sinking in your shit again, but....yeah, sorry." Karma looked away from me with tears in her eyes. She stood up and walked over to her window overlooking the driveway. "Karma she's worried about both of us. She said she doesn't want either one of us to get hurt." I stand and walk over to her. "Karma." She looks over at me and I gently pull her into a hug. "It's gonna be okay," I reassure her, but she is still quiet. "Hey, what are you thinking?" She pulls back and looks at me.

"I'm thinking things must have worked out for Sara," motioning to the driveway below us with her head. I let her go and look out the window when I see Reagan's SUV parked in the driveway.

"Holy shit! It sure does look that way doesn't it," I say laughing. "You know, I'm pretty sure this is the first sleepover."

"What? Really?" 

"Yeah, as far as I know Reagan has never spent the night here with her." Karma starts laughing.

"Well then I guess breakfast will be fun!"


	11. Chapter 11

Breakfast is more like brunch this morning. After seeing Reagan's SUV parked in the driveway at 3am, Karma and I went back to bed. Separately. A few hours later I was awake so I went down to the kitchen. As I was digging through the refrigerator, Karma came up behind me. She slid between me and the refrigerator door, her front brushing against my back, grabbing the eggs and bacon. She gave me that flirty smile of hers and said, "Good morning. I'll start breakfast." I followed her back to the island and before long we had bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, fruit, coffee, and tea ready. We also had a crowd. It seemed like everyone was here. Lauren, Jonathan, Shane, Matthew, Karma, and I. Everyone was pretty quiet, so when Reagan and Sara came stumbling into the kitchen they didn't realize they had an audience. Reagan had her back to all of us, trying to pull Sara down into a kiss, but Sara caught a glimpse of us over the top of Reagan's head and stopped Reagan from pulling her down.

"Sara what's wrong?" Reagan asks, taking her hands away from Sara's neck and wrapping her arms around Sara's waist. Before she could answer, Shane loudly cleared his throat. Reagan froze. Sara slipped through Reagan's grasp and Reagan turned around. They both seemed to be a little embarrassed. All eyes were on them and it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. But, leave it to Lauren.

"You bitches owe me fifty dollars...each!" she said with a big smirk looking at the guys sitting around the table.

"Damn it," Shane blurts out just as Matthew says, "You have got to be kidding me."

"You guys had bets going?" Reagan asks looking around at all of us.

"Well, it was actually a pool," says Jonathan as he sips on his coffee. "I'll pay you tomorrow babe," he says to Lauren.

I wasn't going to say anything and let Sara and Reagan know that I was in on the pool, but again, leave it to Lauren. "That includes you to Amy," she says calling me out and with that all eyes in the kitchen are now on me.

"Really Amy?" Sara asks with a hint of annoyance. I just shrug my shoulders and go back to eating my bacon. A few minutes later we were all eating breakfast and enjoying our time together. Karma didn't really say much of anything after Lauren showed up in the kitchen. I noticed her stealing glances and when I caught her she gave me a nervous smile before looking away. I was guilty too. I was stealing glances, but it wasn't Karma that noticed. Sara caught me red handed and she gave me her "what the hell are you doing" look. I realized Lauren caught me too when she kicked the shit out of me under the table.

"What the hell Lauren? That hurt."

"Yeah, well if you cut the shit you've got going on with-,"

"Hey Amy, let's go for a run," Sara with the save as she has me by the arm dragging me out of the kitchen. "Meet you out front in five okay," she says going downstairs to her room. I bolt upstairs to my room to get changed. I sat down on the bed to put my running shoes on, when Karma walks in.

"Everything okay?" I ask her. She had this look of uneasiness about her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just really tired. I don't seem to have any energy anymore, and my emotions are all over the place."

"You've been through a lot Karms. Your body has been through a lot. It's' just going to take some time to get back to some level of normal," I say as I stand up from the bed. She still looks unsure so I walk over and put my arms around her, giving her a hug. "You're gonna be okay. It's gonna get better." I gently let her go. "Why don't you try and take a nap and when I get back we'll get out of here for a little awhile."

"Really?" She's obviously surprised by my idea.

"Yeah. Just me and you. I want to get you something," I said through a smile.

"Something? What is it?" she says with her playful and curious smile. I shake my head telling her that her begging and pouting is not going to work. Well I'm hoping and praying that it doesn't work.

"Not gonna work Karms. Not this time. I'll be back in a couple of hours okay," I say when I stop at my bedroom door. Before I could walk away Karma stops me.

"Aims, be careful. Okay." I nod then turn and head downstairs to meet Sara.

Sara and I go through the front door at the same time, both of us trying to get the hell out of here before anyone can stop us. As soon as we get out of sight from the house we both slow down to a walk. Clearly we are both on the same page. There's no way I'm going to run like we usually do after eating that much bacon. "Thanks for the save back there. That could have turned ugly pretty quick."

"Yeah, no kidding. Let's go hang out at the park for a while. We should probably talk." I'm a little confused by Sara wanting to talk, but she has always operated with the best of intentions so I let it go. We find a picnic table away from most of the people in the park. "So you want to tell me what the hell all that was back there?" she asks.

"Which part?" I say sitting down across the table from her.

"Well, let's start with Lauren. I figure she's giving you enough shit about Karma so we can get to that later." I take a few minutes to explain Lauren's concern and over protectiveness while Sara just listens. After I got done explaining Lauren's behavior Sara didn't skip a beat. "You had sex with Karma didn't you? The night we graduated." 

What the hell? This is ridiculous. I can't be that obvious. Can I? 

"Did you have sex with Reagan last night?" I ask trying to change the subject and hoping my facial expressions wouldn't give me away.

"Yes. I had sex with Reagan last night, and I'm going to say that you and Karma had sex that night after graduation." Shit! I've never really been able to hide anything from Sara, so I just tell her yes. "Look Amy, I get where Lauren's coming from, but I'm going to be honest with you here. Regardless of the shit you and Karma have put each other through and the dumb fucking things you have done together, I believe this time will be different. You two are very much in love with each other and I don't expect Karma to make the same mistakes. She's not going anywhere."

"I feel a but coming, am I right?"

"But...you guys need to take it slow. Karma needs time to start healing and so do you. Work on how you two communicate. Hell, go out on your first real date together. Rebuild what's broken. Spend time with Karma, but spend time away from her too. Go to the gym more. Go jam with Kate. Hell we are eight to five at work until after the new year with this rotation starting tomorrow so you will have time to do this stuff. You two need to learn how to have more than just each other so you can have a healthy relationship."

"Yeah, you're right."

"I know. I usually am," she says with a smile and a wink.

"So how's this gonna work when I'm living the part of my life that's not Karma? She needs people right now-,"

"Amy trust me," she says interrupting me. "She's got more than just you and she needs to learn that. Besides, no worries until the weekend. Reagan will be on Karma duty while we are all at work." I feel my eyes widen. "Relax. Between doctor appointments, naps, and time in the home studio, I'm sure it will be fine. Reagan won't give her to much shit," she says smiling.

"Okay, but I need to know something," she looked at me waiting for my question. "What made you do that EPIC confession last night? It was awesome!"

"Karma."

"What do you mean Karma?"

"She told me not to hide from Reagan like she hid from you and that I shouldn't run away from Reagan because I would regret it the rest of my life." I was speechless. "She's in love with you and she isn't going anywhere Amy." I'm ready to shift this conversation to anything other than this right now, so I'm going to pry.

"Finally hooked up with Reagan huh? How was it?" She kinda gave me a death glare, one similar to the look she reserves for Reagan moments before she destroys her.

"Well Amy I think you already know the answer that one." I immediately flush red with embarrassment as she looks at me. I know she is referring to my brief, high school romance with Reagan.

"Yeah okay. You win. Point made. I surrender," I say hoping to defuse this conversation. Sara just laughs.

"Relax Amy, I'm just fucking with you. Last night...Reagan...it was amazing. Kinda hate it didn't happen sooner." There are a few moments of silence before she asks, "How was it with Karma? I hope it was fucking mind-blowing. I mean shit, it was only twenty years in the making." My mind immediately goes back to that night and I feel a smile creep across my face, reaching from ear to ear.

"It was the most perfect night of my life." We sat there for another forty-five minutes or so, talking about Sara and Reagan's dinner plans for the night and our upcoming rotation at work. We then spent about twenty minutes doing some HIIT intervals before jogging back home. 

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This weekend hasn't been to bad. Well, with the exception of all the awkwardness due to Lauren's attitude. I get that she's just being protective of Amy and I have done some really fucked up things in the past, but I wish she would just back off a little bit. Right after Amy left to go for a run with Sara I got in bed hoping to get a good nap in. I didn't really sleep long. I can't stop having dreams. This one wasn't the usual panic inducing dream. One weekend with Amy and I'm already having sex dreams starring the two of us. There is no way I'm going back to sleep after that so I head to the bathroom for a shower. The next thing I know I'm standing in front of the bathroom mirror wrapped in a towel, completely lost in my thoughts. I'm brought back to reality when the door to Amy's room swings open and Amy walks in wearing nothing but a pair of boy shorts and a sports bra with her hair up in a ponytail, not realizing that the bathroom isn't empty. We are both frozen. Well everything is frozen but my eyes, which immediately fall to her neck, her chest, then her bare stomach. Her skin is glistening under the bathroom lights due to a light coat of sweat from her earlier run. My heart is jumping all over the place in my chest and I'm certain that I may need another shower after seeing her like that.

"Shit Karma. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were in here," she says as I notice her eyes trail all over my body too. "Karma?"

"Uh-Yeah. Sorry. Sorry for zoning out like that. I'm done in here so I-um. Yeah, I'll be in room," dying from embarrassment or maybe a heart attack. Damn! Her abs are even more perfect now than the last time I saw them.

"I'll get a quick shower and come get you when I'm done," she tells me and I really can't answer her after that so I nod my head and close the door behind me. Why do I have to be such an idiot? I don't feel like going anywhere now, but I do want to spend time with Amy. I have zero motivation to spend time on hair, make-up, and clothes so I opt for jeans, a hoodie, light make-up, and a messy bun. About thirty minutes later, Amy is knocking on my door and we are headed to her car. She opens the car door for me and makes sure I get settled in okay. As we pull away from the house I can't help myself.

"So where are we going? What are you getting me?" I ask excitedly, like I'm a five year old kid.

"Not telling you." With that I start pouting and whining, knowing that I will get my way here. "Nope, not gonna work this time."

"Amy, pleeeeeaaaaaasssee."

"Not happening Karms. But I will tell you that before we go home we're gonna go see my mom and then have an early dinner with your parents." This girl is amazing. Always looking out for me. Always caring and thoughtful. I just hope that one day soon I can and will be enough for her. After a fifteen minute drive we pull up at an AT&T store. "C'mon, it's time to get you real phone." Thirty minutes later we're walking out with a new iPhone for me, courtesy of Amy. Everything about being with her feels so right, so perfect. We make it to Farrah's house around 3pm and stay until 430pm. Farrah has always had her reservations about me, but now after this afternoon things seem different. My thoughts were confirmed when she hugged me as we were leaving and whispered to me.

"My little girl's heart has been and will always belong to you. Please protect it Karma." When we pull back from the hug, both Farrah and I have tears in our eyes, and I promise her that I will in fact protect Amy's heart. I don't plan on breaking it anymore. On the short drive to my parents' house, all I could think was how lucky I am to get one more chance with Amy, and I am determined that I will finally love her right. Love her the way she deserves to be loved.

When we pull into my parent's driveway, I remember the last time I was here. Well, not completely. It was when he showed up. I hesitate when we get to the front door and Amy notices. She gently puts her arm around my waist, leans in and whispers, "I'm here Karms. Everything is okay. You're okay." As soon as she finishes, my mom opens the front door and welcomes us in. We sit down for dinner, even Zen came. I am having dinner with my family and the love of my life. Yeah, Amy's been here for hundreds of family dinners, but this time it is different. I'm not running from or hiding from my feelings for her. I'm no longer in denial about what I feel for her and what it means. I am completely and hopelessly in love with Amy and the fact that I have fully embraced and accepted that is a definite first. I just hope that I'm not to late.

As we are finishing up dinner, my mom notices that I am a little off. "Karma, sweetie are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just really tired. It's been a long day," I say as Amy leans over to me.

"Do you want to go home?" She asks and I nod saying yes. Amy is amazing in that she has always been there to save me from moments where I might look like the bad guy.

"Molly, Lucas. Thank you for dinner. I hate to eat and run, but I have a really early start tomorrow so we should probably get going."

"No worries Amy. I'm just so happy that you two came by to visit. Hopefully we can do this again soon."

"We will Molly," Amy says standing up from the table and we all walk to the front door. Mom wraps me up in a hug and tells me she loves me. Amy gets hugs and I love yous too. It's kind of funny because my family has always been a family of huggers and that is something that Amy will probably never get used to. Twenty minutes later we are walking into an empty house back at home. Well everyone is gone but Sara and by the looks of her, she's headed out too. It is really unfair how attractive she is. Scrubs? She's hot. Jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and a baseball cap? Fucking hot! A simple knee-length skirt, blouse, and heels for work? Again fucking hot! Running shorts and a sports bra? Okay, I think I've made my point.

"Netflix?" Amy asks, offering me the remote.

"Huh?" I say startled, hoping that I just didn't get busted zoning out over Sara.

"Girls Night? Netflix? Amy asks again handing me the remote.

"We can watch anything?" I ask with a toothy smile, twirling the remote in my hand.

"Whatever you want Karms. I'll get the necessities," and she disappears into the kitchen. I really want to watch a sappy chick flick, but that may get to heavy with this tension between us. You can't ever go wrong with House Hunters, so House Hunters it is. Amy comes back with popcorn and soda and about ten minutes into our first episode someone is banging on the front door. Amy hops up to answer the door and walks back into the living room with Reagan trailing behind her. Before I could say hello, Sara comes into the living room and greets Reagan with a soft kiss.

"Reagan you look amazing." Sara compliments her, showing off her dimpled smile and Reagan nervously bites her lower lip. I've never seen Reagan like this, nervous and shy, around anyone.

"Thanks. You look beautiful." And Reagan is definitely right on that one. Sara's shoulder length brown hair is straightened, not her usual wavy locks. And her black, hip-hugging slacks and sleeveless blue top show off that lean, muscular, triathlete body. She kind of resembles a younger Jennifer Garner in the first season of Alias.

"Aww...aren't you two adorable?" Amy says playfully, garnering that "keep fucking with me and I will destroy you" look from Sara. Before Sara could say anything Reagan tries to save Amy.

"Sara, you ready to go?" Sara's gaze never leaves Amy and she simply nods, acknowledging Reagan. I can only imagine what she's thinking right now.

"You kids have fun. Don't stay out to late." Amy says still giving them a hard time. Sara leans over to Amy, whispering something in her ear, keeping eye contact with me. Then she leans back from Amy, smiles and punches her in the arm, puts her jacket on and walks out the front door with Reagan. When Amy turns around to walk back to the couch she looks like she is about to shit herself.

"Amy, you okay?" Amy simply nods sitting on the opposite end of the couch from me and I really don't like the distance between us. "What did she say to you? You're being all tense and weird." Amy just shakes her head. "Amy please. I want you to be able to tell me anything, no matter how bad you think it may be." Still nothing, so I slide over next to her, and I hear her breath hitch at our closeness. "Amy. I'm not letting this go. She clearly said something about you, me, or both of us. Please tell me. Please don't shut me out."

"Karma, let's just watch House Hunters."

"Amy." I say playfully and I'm pretty sure she knows what's about to happen.

"Karma." And with that I start tickling her. Well trying to anyways. With only one good hand it really is a half ass attempt. "Karma stop. Please stop," she says through giggles.

"Tell me and I'll stop."

"Okay. Okay. I'll tell you. Just please stop tickling me." I stop and patiently wait for her to tell me. She's not looking at me, and she's turning red. Which only means one thing.

"She said something about me and you having sex tonight didn't she?" And for a second time in the last five minutes, Amy looks like she is about to shit herself. Her mouth is opening and closing, but words aren't coming out. I'm scared shitless right now because I just opened Pandora's box, but I need to keep my shit together. Play my cards right and take the first step to fixing things.

"Look Amy, the night we graduated we didn't just have sex. It was so much more than that." Amy tries to look away, but I turn her back to me. "That night was perfect and it meant, means, everything to me. I know I really fucked up by running away like I did and I can't imagine how much I hurt you. I will do anything to fix this, us. Anything. I love you Amy and I will wait, no matter how long it takes, for us to finally be in the right spot together." She nods her head and looks down, still not saying anything. I pull her eyes back to mine. "For the record...I want to have sex with you tonight even though we both know we shouldn't. It will never be about me not wanting you. Never. Because I will always want you." I slide closer to her, snuggling into her side and putting her arm behind my neck around my shoulder and started House Hunters. "Alright Aims, let's see if we still got it when it comes to house selection." As I say that I feel her smile into my hair before kissing the top of my head. She doesn't say anything about my little monologue. She doesn't have to because I will wait until she's ready, no matter how long it takes.


	12. Chapter 12

It's been about seven weeks since Karma came home from the hospital. Her first weekend home was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. It finally registered for me, everything that Lauren had been saying. It's always been so easy with Karma. Things with her have always come natural and that's why it has always been so easy to fall back into our normal routines. She was so open and honest that Sunday night about how she felt, but if I'm honest with myself it scared the shit out of me. I know Karma has always loved me. I know that I have always meant a lot to her. I've just never believed that her love for me would ever be the same kind of love that I've always had for her. She's always seemed to say one thing and then do something else regarding her feelings. I didn't know what to do when she cuddled up to me on the couch that night. Part of me wanted to run out of there as fast as I could, but I didn't want her to feel rejected or make her feel like she didn't matter after everything she said so I just kind of went with it.

Since that night we really haven't spent a lot of time alone together. If I'm honest we really haven't spent a lot of time around each other. I decided to take Sara's advice and buried myself in everything that wasn't Karma. I've been on an 8a-5p schedule the past six weeks at work and it will stay that way until the second week of January. I'm out the door at home by 7am and I usually finish up at work no later than 6pm. After that I do whatever I can to make sure I am not home before 9pm. When I can I pick up extra shifts in the ER, which saved me at Thanksgiving. Other than work, I have been spending more time at the gym, usually going three or four times a week. It is a great distraction and some of the guys there aren't so bad. I've actually run into Lauren a few times and she told me she's happy that I'm showing interest in things other than Karma. I've started sparring and grappling some, which wouldn't have been that big of deal, but one time I let my guard down and took a combo from one of the guys. It left me with a black eye and some bruised ribs. Everyone at home freaked out, especially Karma.

Aside from going to the gym, I've been meeting with Kate three times a week. I never thought I would enjoy it this much, but playing is pretty calming for me and it's a nice change of pace from the gym. I had been using Karma's Maton guitar for my lessons and practice, but since she's been back I've had to use one of Kate's. She finally talked me into going shopping and I bought a Taylor GS Mini Rosewood. It's not as nice as the Maton, but it is perfect for me. Karma's the rock star, but for some reason Kate is trying to make me one. She's been telling me I needed to do an open mic night. Apparently I'm better than I think I am, but I don't like being on stage. I suppose I never really got over the whole yo-yo thing. Performing and being on stage has always been Karma's thing and the only reason I ever picked up a guitar was to try and have something of her in my life after she left.

It hasn't been easy. Every day I just want to go home and be with Karma, but I know better. I know that if I open up, she will break my heart again and I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't survive it. The only time we really see each other is at night, after everyone has turned in for the evening. Her nightmares have been happening more frequently and her prescription sleep medication doesn't seem to be helping. Almost every night I hear her talking, crying, and screaming and every night I go and wake her up. We don't talk about it. We just snuggle up in the bed together. Once she has fallen back to sleep, I quietly get up and go back to my own bed. Most nights I don't sleep worth a damn, and last night was no different. I'm running late this morning. At this point I hope I can get downstairs, spend five minutes in the kitchen grabbing a protein bar and a coffee and make it out the door before anyone else makes it to the kitchen. Of course that would be asking to much on this Monday morning because Lauren has beat everyone else downstairs. At least she has already made coffee. Hopefully I can walk in there, get what I want, and walk out without any conversation. Of course Lauren has other plans.

"Amy, don't forget about tonight. Christmas party, here at seven," Lauren says to me as I walk past her and straight to the coffee pot. I haven't acknowledged her yet. "Amy, I mean it. You're ass better be here!" She snaps at me.

"Lauren, I don't know if I'll be able to make it," I tell her as I pour my coffee and grab a protein bar from the pantry.

"And why the hell not?" Her voice is laced with a hint of anger.

"I just have stuff that I need to do, and I don't know-,"

"You!" She interrupts me. "Will be here tonight at seven. I know that you don't have to work tonight, and I can appreciate the fact that you are , how can I put this, staying busy with other interests, but you will not miss our Christmas party!" I lost her at other interests because at that moment Karma walks into the kitchen, my eyes locking with hers. I hesitated, but quickly snapped myself out of it. I grabbed my coffee and walked towards the door.

"You guys have a good day," I say not making eye contact with either one of them as I walked by.

"Seven o'clock Amy!" Lauren shouts as I walk out the front door.

*****

The last seven weeks have been crazy. I've been overwhelmed with everything. I've made all of my doctor's appointments, and they are all happy with how well I am doing. I've finished six weeks of physical therapy, and unfortunately I am still having problems with my left hand when I try and play the guitar. The physical therapists are telling me that it will just take time and that I will eventually get back to my normal, but I'm not so sure. The scar across the back of my hand from surgery is not pretty at all. I go to a support group once a week, and I meet with a psychiatrist once a week. I've also started a part-time job at Austin Community College in the music department and I'm starting to get nervous about the two classes I will be teaching next semester, Music Appreciation and Music Theory I. I've also been spending a lot of time with Reagan in the basement studio at home. I have really enjoyed working with her, but something just seems off, like I'm not quite myself. To make things even weirder, Lauren has been dragging me to her Yoga class every Monday and Thursday with Ashley and Shane. Every Sunday morning is spent with Sara. She wakes me up with a cup of coffee, drags me out of bed, and we take our weekly walk to the park, weather permitting.

Everyone has been so wonderful. They have been keeping me involved with things, staying busy. They have also been driving me to all of my appointments. They have all been baby sitting me this whole time. As great as everyone has been, I have really missed Amy. I haven't really spent any time with her. Since our talk that Sunday night she has made herself scarce. She's gone every morning when I wake up and she doesn't come home until nine or ten at night. The only time we interact at all is when she's waking me up from a nightmare. They are becoming more frequent, happening almost every night in spite of the medication my doctors have given me. Every time I have one, Amy's there waking me up and comforting me. She holds me until I fall asleep. I fall asleep wrapped up in her arms, but I wake up alone.

I don't have anything going on this week. Christmas is a few days away so my schedule will be really calm for a change. I have nothing to do today and I can't sleep so instead of tossing and turning in my bed, I decide to get up and go downstairs for coffee. I don't even bother with my appearance. My sweatpants and long sleeve t-shirt are to comfortable. Plus, it's not like Amy will still be here. As I approach the kitchen I can hear Lauren bitching at someone.

"And why the hell not?" Lauren sounds pissed.

"I just have stuff I need to do and I don't know-," Amy says. I can't believe she's still here and I let my heart lead my head. I pushed my way into the kitchen behind Lauren.

"You!" Lauren raises her voice interrupting Amy. "Will be here tonight at seven. I know you don't have to work, and I can appreciate the fact that you are, how can I put this, staying busy with other interests...," and at that exact moment my eyes meet Amy's and she looks like she has seen a ghost. Other interests? Is Amy? No, I can't be to late...right? But...it makes sense. She has all but disappeared from my life. She's the most beautiful and amazing human being that I have ever met so of course she's seeing someone. She's moved on from me. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Amy's voice.

"You guys have a good day," Amy says walking past me. I can't speak. I don't know what to say.

"Seven o'clock Amy!" Lauren yells at her. This is just perfect! Amy is seeing someone, she's moved on, and now I'm standing in the kitchen alone, with the one person that Satan himself fears. "Oh, good morning Karma. I didn't see you come in," she says with a smirk.

"Good morning," I say sitting down at the island across from her. She can clearly read my thoughts and the emotions on my face right now.

"Don't worry Karma. She'll be here tonight."

"What, nothing going on with her other interests? I reply with more attitude than I thought I had while sipping on my coffee. Lauren tips her head to the side while wearing her shit-eating grin.

"Now Karma, you wouldn't be jealous now, would you?" I don't speak. I'm not going to acknowledge that she just said that. After everything I've put Amy through I don't have the right to be jealous, but that doesn't stop me from giving Lauren my "go fuck yourself" look. I think changing the subject would be a good idea.

"Here, this is for you," I tell Lauren pushing an envelope across the counter top. I figured I could put the money Joe gave me to good use.

"What is it?" She asks as she picks it up. Her eyebrows arch up and her gaze returns to me. Before she could say anything I spoke first.

"I know it's not much, but I want to be a help and not a burden."

"I don't want your money Karma."

"Lauren please. I need to feel like I'm contributing in some way. You guys have done so much for me. Just take it as my way of saying thank you." She sits there contemplating my suggestion before she catches me off guard.

"Have you asked her out?"

"Huh? What are-,"

"Amy. Have you finally grown a back bone and asked my sister out on a real date yet?" I don't know how to respond so I decide to just be honest.

"No. I haven't," I say looking down at the counter top. "I'm not sure she would say yes." Lauren huffs at that.

"Well, there's only one way to find out," she says counting money out of the envelope I had given her. She slides three hundred dollars back to me, still holding the other five hundred. "I'll keep this to pay for the Christmas dinner tonight. You'll need that to take my sister on an amazing first date." I'm trying to speak, to say anything, but I can't. Then I see Lauren stand and go to walk out of the kitchen. She gets to the door then turns around and walks back to me. Her face is softer now. "Christmas Eve. You and Amy will be here by yourselves. Since I know you are to scared to ask her out, maybe you can plan a nice dinner or something for the two of you here. I know you have ideas from all those damn rom-com movies you're always watching. She has a 36-hr shift starting tomorrow, but she'll get off at seven on Christmas Eve," Lauren says before turning and walking away. I'm lost right now. It seems like Lauren is trying to help me with Amy, and that's just confusing as hell. "Don't fuck it up Karma!" She yells back over her shoulder as she walks out of the kitchen.

*****

I got held up at the hospital and I'm late for Lauren's Christmas party. I'm only going to be about twenty minutes late, but she is madder than hell right now. My phone is blowing up. Shane, Lauren, Reagan, and Sara won't quit calling or texting me. I even got one text message from Karma. Usually she's the one leaving as many texts and voice mails as she can so I'm genuinely surprised when she only sends one text.

 

Amy, I hope everything is okay. Can't wait to see you tonight. Drive safe! xxx

 

I couldn't help but smile when I read it. She has kind of kept her distance since her first weekend home. I guess she is just giving me space and that's not like Karma at all. She's never been good with space or boundaries, so this new behavior leaves me really confused. I text Lauren to let her know that I was on my way. I also replied to Karma, simply saying that I was on my way and I would see her soon. I left a smiley face at the end.

I walked through the front door about 7:20pm. Everyone was waiting on me. I told Lauren that everyone should get settled in the dining room while I went to the bathroom. I was upstairs in my bathroom before she could yell at me. As I was closing the door behind me, someone pushed their way in, backing me into the bathroom counter. I turned around to find Sara in my face. "Damn it Sara, what's your problem?"

"No problem. Just needed to talk to you," she says leaning forward, placing her hands beside me on the counter, trapping me. "I just thought you should know that Karma has changed twice and has spent the last half hour nervously pacing downstairs, waiting on you to get home. So, how about you get your shit together, actually talk to her tonight, and knock this shit off about staying busy."

"But you told me-,"

"I told you to spend some time apart from her. Not avoid her like she's the fucking plague."

"Okay. Okay. Let me change-," I was in a white button-up, gray slacks, and black heels. I really did not want to wear work clothes to dinner.

"No way. You look hot! Karma's jaw dropped when you walked in and she couldn't keep her eyes off of you. Now let's go," she said pushing me out of the bathroom and slapping my ass.

Dinner wasn't so bad. There was so much laughter and love. Shane and Lauren were their usual selves, keeping all of us entertained. It didn't take long for me to realize that everyone here was with their significant other. Everyone but me...and Karma. We wound up seated next to each other and we were stealing glances. At one point during dinner we were so comfortable that I put my arm on the back of her chair. I didn't realize it until I felt her hand on my knee. As soon as our eyes met I heard Liam.

"Hey Karma, can you help me in the kitchen real quick?" He says standing from the table. Karma looks really confused, but she follows Liam into the kitchen. As soon as they both disappear, everyone rushes into the living room and out the front door, Sara dragging me behind her. Sitting in the driveway was a blue Honda Civic. Shane, Sara, Reagan, and Ashley were trying to get the giant bow placed perfectly while Lauren was shouting orders. I just stood there between Matthew and Jonathan, not knowing what to say. We all had talked about doing this for Karma, but I didn't know it had worked out. As soon as the bow was perfect we all went back inside and took up various spots throughout the living room. When Lauren was satisfied, she yelled at Karma.

"Karma! Get your ass in here right now!" Almost immediately Karma walked into the living room with Liam behind her. Karma looked scared as she walked over to Lauren. "Karma, we usually don't do this shit."

"But this year we thought we would make an exception," Shane says stepping up to Lauren and Karma, handing Karma a small, gift-wrapped box. "It's from all of us." Karma is shocked and is speechless.

"Let's go Ashcroft, we don't have all day," Lauren barks at her. Karma slowly unwraps the box, opens it, and pulls out a plastic key fob. She looks more confused at this point. Looking between the key fob in her hand and Shane and Lauren. As she looks back down at the key fob in her hand, the car alarm goes off. A few seconds pass before Lauren speaks. "Well, are you going to go outside and take care of that? she says winking at Karma. Still confused, Karma walks to the front door. Jonathan opens it for her and we all follow Karma outside. She starts crying immediately.

"Oh my gosh. You guys...you guys did this? For me?" She says through tears.

"Your family Karms. Of course we did it for you," I tell her.

"We almost had it painted the same color scheme as your parents' juice truck," Shane says laughing. Karma chuckles at that, but doesn't say anything as she looks at each one of us. When her eyes land on Lauren, Lauren couldn't help herself.

"Don't feel special. We were all tired of driving your ass all over Austin. Now you can drive yourself."

"Guys. Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say," Karma says still looking at everyone in the driveway.

"Say you need a drink," Matthew says raising his glass, letting us all know he needed a refill. Karma smiles and we all start making our way back inside. Karma and I are the last ones in the house. Once we get back inside, Karma pulls my arm stopping me in the doorway. Before I know what's happening, Sara has ran over and bumped Karma out of the way.

"What the fuck Sara?" I say, trying to figure out what her problem is. She doesn't say anything. She just points up and that's when I see the mistletoe hanging in the doorway. Before I can say anything, Sara's lips are on mine. It was a quick, chaste kiss. I knew she was saving me from sharing that with Karma, but neither Karma nor Reagan looked to happy with us. 

*****

I was halfway across the living room when I heard Amy say, "What the fuck Sara?" I turned around just in time to see my girlfriend kiss Amy under the mistletoe. My blood was boiling and Karma looked like she wanted to cry. After the kiss, Amy looked confused and Sara looked at me. Before she could say anything I walked away and headed downstairs.

"Well, looks like the party's over," Shane says, and that was the last thing I heard. I was so upset with what I just saw that all I could do was pace. A couple of minutes after I walked downstairs I realized I wasn't alone.

"I can explain," Sara says walking towards me.

"Good! Because I can't wait to hear this shit," I reply angrily. "I want to know why my girlfriend just kissed Amy."

"Well, I figured it would be more weird if I pushed Amy out from under the mistletoe and kissed Karma," Sara says with half a smile. I don't say anything, but my face let her know that I did not think it was funny. "Look Rea, I did it trying to help Amy. We both know that she's been avoiding Karma the last couple of months and she's been doing really well. The last thing she needs to do right now is kiss Karma." She walks toward me and I just back pedal away from her. I know she's right about Amy, but it still pisses me off that my girlfriend just kissed someone who wasn't me. "Reagan, baby please say something." I stop walking backwards when my back hits the wall behind me.

"I didn't like it at all. It really caught me off guard. I don't want your hands or lips on anyone but me. That shit pissed me off," I say putting my hands on the front of her hips, making her keep her distance.

"I know. I'm sorry. But I plan on spending the rest of the night making it up to you," she says as she leans in and presses her lips to mine. In no time our kisses go from soft and tender to passionate with tongues fighting for dominance. I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into me. As I start tugging at her shirt and pants, she rests her forehead on mine, hands on the wall beside my head. I pull her shirt over her head and push her pants down her hips. She pulls back for one brief second, stepping out of her pants, before her lips are back on mine. Her hands tug my pants down past my hips while her face is buried in my neck. As soon as I step out of my pants I feel her hands on the back of my thighs. With one quick motion she picks me up. I wrap my legs around her waist allowing her to pin me against the wall. As soon as our lips meet again, she pins my hand against the wall above my head. I moan into her mouth and she pushes her hips into me. 

"Fuck. Sara. I-," she cuts me off with another rough kiss. She shifts a little between my legs and I suddenly feel her free hand inside my underwear. Fuck this is hot! She lets go of my hand and puts it on the back of my neck while she sucks on my pulse point. I've never gotten this close this fast. "Sara," I'm panting so I hard I can barely breathe. She pulls back to make eye contact. My upper back is pinned against the wall and my legs are wrapped around Sara's waist and fuck this has never felt so good. She leans her forehead onto mine, then softly kisses my lips. As soon as our lips touch, I feel her fingers slip inside me. "Fuck." Almost immediately she's hitting all the right spots. "Sara. I'm. Going."

"Come for me baby," she whispers in my ear. Seconds later I'm having one of the most mind blowing orgasms of my life. As I'm coming down from Sara, she's gently kissing my neck.

"Don't put me down. I don't think my legs will hold me up," I say through a smile before kissing her. She smiles into the kiss. As she pulls back from our kiss, she pushes us off the wall, still holding me.

 

"I wasn't planning on it," she says walking towards her bedroom.

 

"What? Bedtime already?" I say jokingly.

 

"No baby," she says as she slowly lowers us onto her mattress. "That was just pregame," and before I could say anything her lips are back on mine. 

 

A/N: Next chapter will be Christmas Eve/Christmas Day with Amy and Karma. Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Last night was both amazing and completely shitty. It was amazing because everyone surprised me with an amazing gift, a car. But things went to shit as soon as I walked back into the house. I didn't even realize that I had stopped Amy under the mistletoe, but Sara obviously did. Before I even knew what was happening, Sara pushed me out of the way and kissed Amy. She kissed Amy. It finally registered. I know that their kiss probably didn't mean anything since Sara and Reagan are together, but it was a mental picture that someone (or someones) other than me have been and will be kissing Amy. And that did not sit well.

Once I finally went to bed, I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. I couldn't turn my mind off. All I could think was that I had lost Amy. That she was with someone else. Someone that wouldn't hurt her or runaway from her like I did. Someone better than me. At some point I finally fell asleep only to have Amy waking me up. The nightmares just won't stop and so we continued or usual nightly routine of cuddling until I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later alone in bed. I didn't know what else to do so I drug myself downstairs hoping to drown my thoughts away in coffee and an unhealthy breakfast. As soon as I walked into the kitchen, I realized I'd be sharing breakfast with the spawn of Satan.

"You look like shit Karma. Rough night?" Lauren said to me as I walked past her to the coffee pot.

"Yeah. Good morning to you too," I replied while pouring a cup of coffee, already annoyed.

"Last night was um...interesting. Wouldn't you say?" She said snarkily, peering at me over her coffee cup. "Sara kissing Amy like that...I'm sure Sara's not the only one." This is NOT something I want to think about, much less discuss with Lauren. I know she is trying to bait me, but I'm not falling for it. When she realizes that I'm not going to reply she asks, "So what do you plan on doing about it?"

"Excuse me?" I ask her, obviously irritated as hell.

"You heard me. What are you going to do about it? You've never backed down from fighting for Amy."

"Yeah well, maybe she doesn't want me to fight for her anymore," I say sipping my coffee.

"Yeah. You're probably right Karma," she says sipping on her coffee. "But it-,"

"Lauren can we just drop it? Please." She immediately cocks her head to the side in signature Lauren fashion before tearing into me.

"No! I will not just drop it," she says while grabbing a note pad and pen. She starts scribbling on it and when she's done she tears off the top page and slides it across the counter to me. "You will meet me there in two hours. If after our little meeting you can't come up with any grand gesture for Amy, then I will drop it."

"Lauren-,"

"In two hours, your ass will be at this address," she says pointing to the piece of paper in front of me. "This is NOT optional Ashcroft," she says before walking out of the kitchen.

Two hours later I'm standing in front of one of the largest party supply stores in Austin. I'm standing there wondering why the hell Lauren wanted to meet here when she walks up behind me. "Here's the deal. We're going to walk through this store and look around. If you can't come up with some little grand plan on what you could do for my sister, then I'll drop it...for good. But I think this will be all the motivation you will need," she says dragging me inside. 

I must say this place is amazing. They have everything you could ever need for party planning. Lighting, seasonal decor, fog machines, snow machines. I stop suddenly in the middle of the store. "Karma what's wrong? Are you okay?" I don't answer Lauren, but I know my eyes, smile, and face said everything she needed to know. When I looked at Lauren I could see her expression change too. The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile and she had her game face on. "Alright Ashcroft, we've got work to do. What's your plan?"

*****

I'm wrapping up the last few hours of a pretty uneventful shift on Christmas Eve. A few more hours and I'm free of this place for the next four days. Shane and Matthew are in Los Angeles with Matthew's family and Liam and Ashley are in Las Vegas. Reagan seemed to be pretty nervous about going to Birmingham with Sara to meet her family. I told her to call if she needed an escape, but they got there yesterday afternoon and I haven't heard from them since. I'm guessing things are going pretty well. I'm really happy that Lauren and Jonathan are only going to Dallas because they are the only ones that are still around tonight. That's huge because I'm not sure about spending time with Karma alone. I want nothing more than to be with her, but I just don't trust myself around her yet. It's to easy to fall back into old routines with her and I don't know if I would survive another heartbreak caused by that girl.

I'm sitting here at the admitting desk, the board is empty, and all I'm thinking about is going home and sleeping for the next fifteen hours. I'm working my way through patient charts when my phone starts ringing. I pull it out of the pocket of my lab coat and see Lauren's face on my screen.

"Hey Lauren. What's up?" I ask as I continue documenting in patient charts.

"You're still getting off as scheduled right? Seven?" She asks hurriedly.

"Yeah. Why?" I'm a little confused with where this is going because this really isn't like Lauren.

"I just want to make sure that you won't be late for dinner. So we'll see you about 715pm then?" She asks, sounding distracted by something in the background.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I say but she doesn't reply back. I hear her and Jonathan giggling in the background before the line goes dead. That was really fucking weird. Lauren does not giggle. Something isn't right, but I decide to let it go. I want to these charts finished so I can get out of here at seven.

Seven o'clock finally rolls around and I'm walking through the parking deck to my car. I can't wait to get home, trade this monkey suit for some sweats, and sleep for days. If I slept through Christmas I'd be okay with that. Before pulling out of the deck I send Lauren a text to let her know that I was on my way home. I'm already thinking ahead to tomorrow's Christmas lunch/dinner with my mom and dad and how it will probably turn into a colossal shit show before it's all said and done. I didn't have a lot of time to think about it because ten minutes later I'm pulling into the driveway at home. One minute after parking my car I walk through the front door. I'm exhausted and I can't wait to get a shower and get some sleep I think to myself as I close the front door behind me. What. The. Fuck? What the hell happened to my house? 

I'm frozen in the foyer, not believing what I'm seeing. Blue. Everything is glowing blue. There are barren snow trees off to my right, reaching overhead, creating an arched walkway towards the living room. A few feet from the front door, across from the last snow tree, is a New England carriage lantern plucked from a Charles Dickens novel, inviting me in. I slowly walk towards it and stop next to it when I hear Christmas music playing softly. Before I could place the song playing I see snow falling. It's snowing in my house. I look up to see a light snowfall dropping from the vaulted ceilings that are now midnight blue, filled with glimmering stars.

As I begin walking into the living room, I see the espresso hardwood floor is dusted with just enough snow to silence my heeled boots. There are white fabric walls to my left with blue lights hiding behind them, their placement making the space smaller. Barren snow trees, save for fairy lights strung throughout their branches, line the new fabric walls. Across the room from the fireplace, frosted hurricane glasses glowing with candles line each step of the staircase leading upstairs. I continue walking through this winter wonderland, smelling hints of cinnamon and peppermint. This set up could be straight out of one of those stupid bridal magazines.

I stop in the middle of the living room. The only thing left in the room is a table for two. The table is covered in a decorative white table cloth. A small silver plate sits in the middle of the table somewhat hidden by three white, lit candles of varying heights, sitting in hurricane glasses surrounded by snow. There is a television monitor sitting flush with the fireplace, and the mantle has an assortment of lit candles, buried in snow. 

My senses are completely overwhelmed. As I'm trying to process all of this my favorite Christmas tune, Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, begins playing. I feel a smile stretch across my face as I think to myself that all of this is so over the top. All of this...this is so...Karma. I'm startled when I hear a small cough behind me. I turn around and in that moment, the moment I see Karma standing on the platform step at the bottom of the stairs, time stops. Seeing her, standing there with snow falling into her auburn hair, which is pulled up into a loose ponytail, bangs framing her angelic face, takes my breath away. My eyes travel down to see she's wearing a sleeveless, high scoop-neck black dress with strappy black heels. The v-cutout traveling a few inches below the dress's neckline catches my attention. I'm brought out of my Karma-induced stupor when I hear a thud on the floor beside me. I didn't even realize I had dropped my bag. I quickly pick it up and find myself walking toward the stairs, being drawn to this beautiful woman in front of me. I stop at the very bottom, leaving one step between me and Karma.

"Hey," Karma says with a nervous smile. I open my mouth to reply, but words don't come out. I can't take my eyes off the gorgeous woman standing in front of me. "Amy. Are you-."

"God you are so beautiful," I say quickly, cutting her off and letting go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding. She smiles and looks to the floor like she's embarrassed. She quickly looks back up, making eye contact with me.

"Amy, if you don't have any plans, I was wondering if...maybe...if-um, you would like to have dinner with me tonight," she asks anxiously. I look down at her dress, then look to my charcoal gray pants and white blouse.

"I-um. I think I may be under dressed," I reply as I look back up at her. She takes a step down onto the one step between us and quickly says, "I think you look great."

"So...you did all this," my eyes never leaving hers. "You did all this for dinner? With me?" She nods, biting her lower lip.

"I wanted it to be special. I thought maybe it could be our first date," she says, her voice full of hope.

"A date?"

"Well, it doesn't have to be-."

"Yes," I say cutting her off from her nervous rambling. I take her hand after I set my bag down behind her. "C'mon, I'm starving." 

Karma tells me to sit down at the table while she disappears into the kitchen. A few minutes later she returns pushing a small cart filled with a variety of dishes. She tells me that we are having one of my favorites: shrimp scampi with rice pilaf, a crisp green salad, and chilled white wine. When she finally sits down I couldn't help giving her shit after all the effort she has put into this night. "You know, this is almost perfect. The only thing missing is a romantic fire in the fireplace," I say playfully as I take a bite of my shrimp scampi. This girl can definitely cook. I look up to see Karma narrow her eyes at me and give me that sexy grin that drives me wild. Without saying a word she turns around and grabs a remote off of the cart behind her. She looks at me while pointing the remote towards the fireplace. A wood-burning fire pops up on the television and I look back to see her smirking at me.

Dinner was amazing. Karma really went all out and it was perfect. But I am still hesitant where she is concerned and I am exhausted from my long shift at work. While we were finishing up the chocolate crepes with caramel sauce, I noticed another television in the corner next to the fireplace and a white, round lounger covered with pillows and blankets. "What's that?" I ask pointing to the corner setup.

"Well, I thought after we finish eating we could watch something on Netflix," she says through a smile.

"Oh. Uh Karma, dinner was amazing, but I kinda really just want to go upstairs and-."

"Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. You're probably tired from work and all," she says getting up and starts clearing the table, not looking at me. Great! Just great. I hurt her feelings.

"Here let me help clean this up," I tell her, not wanting her to feel like this wasn't appreciated.

"No Amy. It's fine. I've got it," she huffs out. She takes a deep breath to compose herself. "Thank you for having dinner with me tonight. I had a really good time," and she pushes the cart into the kitchen and disappears. I'm left standing in the middle of the living room, wondering just how bad I fucked up. I take a few minutes and walk slowly towards the stairs, taking in everything around me. When I get to the stairs and pick up my bag my phone starts ringing.

"Hey Lauren, what's-."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Lauren snaps at me through the phone.

"What are you talking about Lauren?"

"Karma worked her ass off to make tonight special for you and your just going to blow her off?" I just roll my eyes as I get to the top of the stairs. "Hang on a second Amy." What the hell? She calls to bitch at me and then tells me to hang on. I don't need this shit. Before I could hang up I hear Sara on the line.

"Get your shit together right now Amy. You are not going to fuck this up anymore than you already have," Sara tells me as I hear Reagan agreeing with her in the background.

"When did this turn into a damn conference call?" I annoyingly say to whoever else may be on the line now.

"About the time you decided to be a horse's ass to the woman you love," Reagan yells in the background. Oh dear God. Do they not get it.

"You need to fix this shit Amy right now, before you screw it all up with Karma," Lauren tells me.

"What!" I yell at all of them, as I'm pacing the floor in bedroom. "Do you guys not remember everything that happened. Everything that she did to me. How bad she hurt me -."

"Yes," Sara yells back, cutting me off. "We remember everything Amy. But you are not the only one hurting here."

"I'm fucking scared!" I scream at all three of them. There is a moment of dead silence.

"Amy listen," I hear Reagan speak calmly to me. "If we thought for one second that Karma was going to pull her shit again and hurt you, we would not be encouraging this. She loves you. She is in love with you. And she is trying her hardest to show you." I feel tears hanging in my eyes, and I don't know what to say.

"Amy do you trust us?" Lauren asks. I hesitate because I can't speak. "Amy?"

"Yes. Yes I trust you, but I'm scared I will lose her again," I tell Lauren, Sara, and Reagan.

"You aren't going to lose her Amy. Not this time. Now you are going to ask Karma to watch Netflix with you. In your room. Just like you are fifteen again," Lauren instructs me.

"My room is not nearly as perfect as downstairs would have been if I would have just said okay a few minutes ago," I whine to them.

"Turn the television on, turn the lights off, and walk to your nightstand," Lauren says to me. I do as she says. "Now flip the switch you see taped to the base of the lamp." I do as instructed and what I see leaves me speechless. "You can thank me later Amy," Lauren says.

"Don't fuck it up Amy," Sara says as I hear Reagan say, "Good luck Amy." And with that the line goes dead. I have no idea how I'm feeling about any of what just happened, so I decide to take a quick shower. I finish up in the shower, put my pajamas on, and flop down on my bed. A few minutes later I hear Karma in her bedroom. I take a deep breath and walk through the bathroom to her room.

"Hey," I said startling her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, you didn't," she says looking down at the floor. I walk into her room and stop right in front of her.

"I was hoping that maybe you still wanted to watch something on Netflix?" I ask, a bit unsure of myself.

"Amy, I know you're tired and you just want to get some sleep. We don't ha-," I interrupt her by placing my finger on her lips.

"Shh. C'mon, I know just the movie we can watch," I tell her as I pull her towards my room. She is smiling when she jumps on the bed just like she did when we were kids. 

"Miracle on 34th Street?" she asks I bit confused.

"It's a great Christmas movie. It's a classic Karms," I tell her as I walk around to my nightstand and my side of the bed. She is already under the covers, and she lifts the covers up on my side telling me to get in. I flip the switch that Lauren left on the nightstand, and I hear Karma gasp.

"Amy, what is...what is all this?"

"We should probably thank Lauren when she gets back from Dallas," I say smiling. Karma and I both look around the room. The ceiling is covered with a starry night scape only visible when the lights are off. There are a few lights glowing underneath the bed, and behind the headboard are curtains lined with small fairy lights. I must admit that Lauren really outdid herself with this setup. The lighting couldn't be anymore perfect. I slide into bed next to Karma, prop myself up on some pillows, and hit play to start the movie. Once I get settled she instinctively snuggles up to me and then quickly pulls herself back.

 

"It's okay Karms," I say with an outstretched arm. She smiles softly, then snuggles back into me, her head in the crook of my neck. About twenty minutes into the movie, I feel her nuzzling my neck. "Thank you. Thank you for everything," I tell her and I feel her smile into my neck. I kiss her softly on the forehead, and within minutes I am sound asleep. 

I slowly open my eyes to see sunlight pouring into my room. I start squirming a bit, but quickly realize I can't move. I'm pinned down. I see a mop of auburn hair below my chin and splayed out across my chest. Karma's still here. I feel a smile spread across my face and I try to shift myself in the bed. I finally accept the fact that I'm not going anywhere because her head is on my chest, her arm is wrapped tightly around my waist, and her legs are tangled up with mine. A few minutes after my failed attempt at getting up, she starts to move a little letting out a small groan in the process. It hasn't gone unnoticed by me that she actually, well, we actually slept through the night with no nightmares. She groans again and nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck. "Good morning," I whisper to her.

"Mmmm," she groans, rolling off of me and onto her side facing me. "Good morning. Do you want breakfast?" She asks sleepily.

"Of course. When have I ever turned down food?" I say playfully. I can't believe I'm lying in bed next to the most beautiful girl in the world.

"Okay. Meet me downstairs," and she leans over a places a sleepy kiss on the corner of my mouth before getting out of bed and heading downstairs. I don't think she realized what she just did, but I'm not going to complain about it. I laid there in bed staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes before I got up. I stop by the bathroom before heading to the kitchen. She doesn't see me so I walk up behind her and snake one arm around her waist. I nuzzle her neck, breathing her in before I place a soft kiss where her neck meets her shoulder.

"Merry Christmas Karms," I whisper in her ear and I feel her shiver, causing me to smile. I rest my chin on her shoulder. "Can I help with anything?"

"No, I've got this. I want to cook you breakfast," she says flipping the pancakes over. As I turn to walk to the kitchen island she stops me. "Hey Aims," she says cupping my face with one hand, kissing my cheek. "Merry Christmas."

I really enjoyed breakfast. The food was great and the company was even better. Being with Karma like this felt so right. It's something that is just so easy, so natural. I finally realized it was almost lunch time so we cleaned up the kitchen, and got ready to go spend the day with our parents. Separately. I dropped Karma off her parent's house before going to my mom's.

I wasn't really sure what to expect with my mom, dad, and Mark being there together. The first few hours were lazy and uneventful, but that changed when my mom told me we would be having four additional guests coming for dinner. As soon as I finished setting the table for my mom the door bell rang. I had no idea who she invited over for dinner and I was irritated as hell at this point. When I opened the front door I got an unexpected surprise. Standing there in front of me was Molly, Lucas, Zen, and Karma. I invited them in and got bear hugs from Molly, Lucas, and Zen. Karma was the last one through the door.

"Hey," I said as I leaned in to kiss her cheek and wrap her in a hug. "Did you know about this?"

"No. I was shocked when mom told me that Farrah had invited us and we would be having Christmas dinner with your family. Amy I'm worried this will turn into a shit show."

"Karma, it will be fine," I tell her taking her hand and walking to the dining room. We both stop and take in the really awkward scene of our families sitting down to have dinner together. We've know each other for more than twenty years and this is the first time we are all having dinner together. "You know, if it goes to complete shit, I think it will be entertaining," I say laughing. Karma smacks me in the arm as we sit down at the table.

The food was pretty good and throughout dinner Karma and I would steal glances of each other. About halfway through dinner she slid her chair right up next to mine. I put my arm on the back of her chair and felt her hand on my thigh. I couldn't help but think to myself again how normal and right all of this felt. I lean over to her and pull her into me.

"Can you believe that my raging conservative mother and your ridiculously liberal parents are laughing and seem to be enjoying each others company?" She smiles at me and shakes her head. "Hey, what's wrong?" It is not like Karma to be quiet like this.

"Can we talk about it later?" She asks with pleading eyes.... I just nod my head and smile. Dinner lasted for another half hour or so before everyone cleared the table and helped clean up the kitchen. It was starting to get late so everyone said their goodbyes. I still can't believe how well our families got along. 

Karma and I got home about nine and we spent another hour cleaning up all the snow from the night before, before heading upstairs for bed. I'm propped up on my bed scrolling through Netflix documentaries when I notice Karma standing in the bathroom door. "Hey Amy, can I come in for a minute?"

"Yeah, what's up?" She walks over and sits down next to me on the bed. She hesitates for a second before handing me a small, gift wrapped box.

"Merry Christmas Amy."

"Karma, you did-."

"I know. I wanted to. Well, go ahead and open it," she says giving me that goofy smile. I smile back at her and opened the box. I pull out a beautiful Citizen Eco-Drive watch, silver tone with small diamonds on the silver face.

"Wow! Karma it's beautiful." I'm almost speechless.

"Don't forget the note in there too." I look in the bottom of the box and pull out a hand-written note from Karma.

 

Time will prove my love to you and cement my place in your heart forever. For time will give me  
the credibility and the believability that I need to convince you to want to spend the rest of your  
life with me. That I am worthy of such a commitment from you. ~ Author Unknown

 

As I look up from the note I feel a tear roll down my cheek. When I look at Karma I see tears hanging in her eyes. She slides over to me and puts her arms around my neck, resting her forehead on mine. I wrap my arms around her and start crying. She holds me while I cry, and a few minutes later she pulls back to wipe the tears from my cheeks. "Amy, I am not going anywhere. I'm never leaving you again. I love you. I'm in love with you and I'm staying for you. For us." She kisses my forehead softly before resting her forehead back on mine. "You're in control here Aims. The ball is in your court. You decide what we do and when we do it. Okay?" I nod letting her know that I understand.

"Hey Karma," I say pulling back from her. I reach over and open the night stand drawer, pulling out a gift wrapped box. "Merry Christmas," I tell her as I hand her the box. She smiles like a five year old kid and quickly opens her present. A look of shock spreads across her face. "Amy..."

"Well, let's see it," I tell her and she pulls out a treble clef music note diamond pendant necklace.

"Amy, it's beautiful." I reach out to take it from her and motion for her to turn around so I could put it on her. As soon as I'm done she runs off to the bathroom to check it out in the mirror, and I follow her. When she sees me leaning on the door frame she walks over and wraps me in a hug. I pull back with my arms still wrapped around her waist.

"You know I don't have a romantic note to give you, but I just want you to know that you are the rhythm that my heart beats to." We are gently swaying in the bathroom, kind of like we are dancing.

"Did you just come up with that? She asks and I give her a proud smile.

"No. I actually heard it on the radio last week," and we both start laughing. I let go of her waist and cup her face in my hands with only inches separating our lips. My heart is pounding right out of my chest. "Netflix?" I whisper.

"Okay," she whispers back. A couple minutes later we're sliding under the covers. I'm still taking advantage of the fantastic lighting set-up Lauren left for me. I glance over to her scrolling through Netflix and all I really want to do is to stop being scared and kiss her. "Is Elf okay with you?" she asks, but I don't really hear what she's saying because I am lost in her eyes. "Amy?" she asks making eye contact with me. I look down to her lips and back up to her eyes. I scoot closer to her and put my hand behind her neck, leaning in slowly...looking for any sign that she may not want to do this. Our noses touch and I stop there, giving her a chance to back out. When she doesn't, I tilt my head a little more and place a soft kiss on her lips. I immediately feel my body jolt to life. Before I could get lost in her, I pull away and smile at her. We get settled in the bed, wrapped up in each other. She nuzzles into my neck and I look down at her.

"Hey," I say as I gently shake her, wanting her to look at me. Our eyes finally meet. "I love you."'

"I love you too." After hearing that I lean down and press one more soft kiss to her lips, both of us smiling into it. We snuggle back into each other and turn our attention to the movie. We both fall asleep before the movie ends, wrapped up in each others arms. 

 

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this update. Let me know what you guys think, and thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

Christmas with Amy was wonderful and I thought that we had made real progress, but as soon as Monday and a new work week got here, Amy went back to her distant self. The only change this go around has been sleeping in Amy's bed with her each night. We fall asleep cuddled up to one another and I wake up the next morning to an empty bed. One positive thing is every night I fall asleep in Amy's arms, I actually sleep through the night. I have been nightmare free for a week now.

 

As wonderful and amazing as things were over Christmas, everyone returned home a few days ago bringing Amy and I out of our little bubble. Things were almost back to normal. The only difference has been Shane. He has been on cloud nine since he got back from LA...as Matthew's fiancé. Yes, Shane Harvey is engaged and he wants to celebrate with all of us this New Year's Eve. In a few hours we will all be going to Geraldine's for a celebratory dinner followed by VIP treatment at Rain, one of Matthew's new clubs, to bring in the New Year.

 

I'm really hoping that this will be my second official date with Amy. We haven't talked about anything that has happened in the past week. I guess because there really isn't much to talk about. We exchange hugs and I love yous every day. Each night at bed time there is always a soft, chaste good night kiss, and we snuggle into each other and fall asleep. I really want tonight to be amazing so I've been digging through my closet for the last half hour trying to figure out what I'm going to wear. I'm brought out of my thoughts when my phone beeps, alerting me I have a new text message. I pick it up and see it's from Amy.

 

Leaving work on time tonight. See you soon. xoxo

 

Great! She'll be here in fifteen minutes ready to go and I'm still fumbling through potential outfits. I finally give up and go with something simple, black skinny jeans, a white and black three-quarter sleeve top and black flats. I'm standing in front of my full length mirror when I hear a knock on my door. I open it to see Amy staring back at me, sporting dark jeans, boots, a white button up blouse and a leather jacket.

 

"You ready to go?" She asks extending her hand to me. She looks amazing and I'm having trouble forming a coherent thought. I take her hand and she leads me downstairs and outside to a waiting cab. Before she opens the car door, she slides her hand around my waist, kisses my cheek, and whispers in my ear, "You are so beautiful." She pulls back and gives me a soft, genuine smile. We hop in the back seat of the cab and twenty minutes later we are meeting everyone at Geraldine's. I soon realize that everyone here is a couple: Shane/Matthew, Lauren/Jonathan, Reagan/Sara, and Liam/Ashley. Amy and I are not really a couple. Are we? All this thinking is making my head hurt, so I grab my full glass of wine and chug it down. As I'm reaching to put the glass back on the table, I look over to the kitchen and see Tyler. No! This can't be. I shut my eyes tightly, then open them looking back toward the kitchen. No one is there. I'm having a hard time catching my breath.

 

"Karma are you okay? What's wrong?" Amy asks squeezing my hand under the table. I quickly look back toward the kitchen, not finding what I thought I saw. "Karma?"

 

"I'm f-fine," I stutter quickly. "I'm fine. I just got a little light headed. I probably shouldn't have drunk that wine so fast."

 

"No. You should probably slow down with the wine," Amy says through a smile. She then leans over to whisper to me, "Are you sure you're okay?" I nod quickly then feel her arm slide around my shoulder pulling me into her, softly kissing my temple.

 

"Well, Well...look at the two love birds. Are there wedding bells ringing in the not so distant future for you two?" Shane asks, throwing back another glass of wine. Amy quickly pulls her arm back, and starts coughing. I see her walls going up. Thank God Shane dropped it and no one else said anything else about it because it was already bad enough. The rest of dinner, the quiet and distant Amy was present. We finished dinner and walked outside at the same time a limo pulls up.

 

"VIP treatment starts now ladies and gentleman," Matthew states proudly. We are all smiles as we pile into the limo. As soon as we pull off, glasses of champagne are being passed around.

 

"A toast," Liam says through a large smile. "To Shane and Matthew, may your future be filled with love and happiness. And to all of us...this family," Liam says motioning his arm in a circle. "May we all have lifetimes of happiness -."

 

"And great, mind blowing sex," Shane shouts, cutting Liam's toast off. Everyone is laughing and guzzling back the champagne. We pull up to Rain a few minutes after ten. There are probably a hundred people waiting in line at the front door as we exit the limo. Matthew walks up to the two rather large guys manning the door. After a few seconds, one of the guys opens the door and Matthew motions us inside. As we're walking towards the stairs to Matthew's VIP section, I hear Sara tell Reagan she would be meet her upstairs, grabs Amy's hand, and they walk off towards the bar. As soon as we get upstairs I immediately notice that we have a bird's eye view of the entire club.

 

"Karma! Let's go sweetie...it's time for shots," Shane yells, motioning me to the seat next to him. After two shots I get up and go back over to my spot overlooking the club. After scanning below me for a few minutes I finally find Amy and Sara. They are sitting at the bar, and Amy is chatting with a woman I don't know. The more I watch the more my stomach turns. This woman is obviously flirting with Amy. This can not be happening I think to myself as I run my fingers through my hair.

 

"You look like you could use another drink," I turn to my left to see Reagan offering me a rocks glass with what I assume to be whiskey.

 

"Thanks," I mutter, taking the drink and sipping on it. 

 

"I'm sure it's nothing," she tells me as we both sip on our drinks. "But I'm going down there to get my girlfriend before midnight gets here. Are you coming?" She doesn't have to ask twice. I finish the rest of my whiskey and I follow Reagan downstairs to the bar. She walks up behind Sara, whispers something in her ear, then pulls a smiling Sara onto the dance floor. Amy's eyes find mine, and I find courage I didn't know I had. Thank you José and Jack. 

 

I approach the beautiful blonde perched on a bar stool, placing myself between her knees. I lean in and brush my lips gently over her ear. When I feel her shiver I whisper, "Come dance with me baby," and I pull her off the bar stool towards the dance floor. As soon as I find an open spot I turn around and throw my arms around her neck, pulling her close. It's been years since I've been on a dance floor with Amy like this. I'm a little woozy from all the alcohol I've had, or Amy's hot breath on my neck, or hell maybe both, and I can tell she is a bit tipsy too. She turns us slightly while grinding her hips into me, causing me to look up and open my eyes. I stiffen and freeze immediately when I see Tyler over Amy's shoulder, just in front of the bathrooms. I close my eyes tight. "No! Just No!" I open my eyes and see no one standing in front of the bathrooms. Amy notices my change in demeanor immediately.

 

"Karms what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," Amy says worriedly as she hooks both of her arms around my waist. I'm trying to calm my breathing with an exercise my therapist taught me. "Karma what's wrong?" Amy asks again.

 

"Nothing. I'm fine. I think I've had to much to drink," I reply. That wouldn't be a lie. I've got a really good buzz going right now, and judging by how Amy is moving I'm pretty sure she is a little drunk too.

 

"Do you want to go upstairs and sit down?" She asks tucking my hair behind my ear. Before I could say anything the music dies down.

 

"Ten. Nine. Eight," the crowd counts down to midnight.

 

"No. I want to be right here with you," I tell her, wrapping my arms around her neck.

 

"Seven. Six. Five." I look over Amy's shoulder to see Sara and Reagan smiling from ear to ear. Both of them are giving me two thumbs up. "Four. Three."

 

"I love you Amy," I tell her as we sway slowly to non-existent music. She doesn't say anything, but leans in slowly.

 

"Two. One," and her lips touch mine softly and I can taste the alcohol on her breath. After a couple of seconds I pull back, seeing streamers and ticker tape still falling from the ceiling. Looking into Amy's eyes I see something I've never seen before, a raw hunger. She leans back in and captures my lips with hers. This is not another soft kiss like the ones we have been sharing for the past week. This kiss is rough, full of passion. When I feel her tongue brush across my lips, I immediately let her in, deepening the kiss. Amy has taken my breath away and left me weak in the knees. She breaks the kiss and I don't have time to miss her lips because she is sucking and biting at my neck, slowly moving up to my ear.

 

"Do you want to go home?" She asks huskily, eyes full of love and want. I barely give her a chance to finish.

 

"Yes!" As soon as I answer, she starts pulling me off the dance floor and towards the exit. Once outside we hop in the back of a cab. She tells the driver our address and as soon as the car drives off she pulls me closer and buries her face in my neck.

 

"God, I want you so much," she growls, placing a soft kiss on my neck. Oh my God, this cab ride is taking to long. If we aren't home soon I'm going to mount her right here in the back of the cab. As soon as that thought occurred, the cab pulls into our driveway. Amy pays the driver and we stumble towards the front door, hands and lips are everywhere. We finally make it to her bedroom and as soon as she shuts her bedroom door I push her up against it and pin her there with my body. My lips find her neck, and as I'm nipping at her pulse point I grab the collar of her jacket and push it down her shoulders. As soon as she shimmies out of it I feel her hands on the back of my thighs. She lifts me up and I wrap my legs around her waist. She takes a couple of steps and drops us both down onto her bed.

 

She pins my hands above my head and starts biting at my neck. Her free hand has found the waist band and button of my jeans. I'm trying to stay in this moment, but Amy is being a little to rough. I want her. God do I want her. I want this so I don't say anything, I just go with it. She's moved down to my chest now, my hands still trapped above my head. Her free hand is roughly tugging at my jeans and underwear. As soon as I feel her teeth graze my breast, I immediately see Tyler. No. I see him hovering over me and not Amy.

 

"No. Stop," I pant out, trying to free my hands. "No. Please stop." As soon as I feel my hands are free I push Amy hard.

 

"Karms what's wrong? Did I-."

 

"I said no," I scream, shoving her completely off of me and run to the bathroom slamming the door behind her.

 

*************************

 

I'm on my bed with Karma. I'm hovering over her, kissing her lips, her neck. Gently holding both of her hands above her head. My free hand is on her stomach, caressing her waist line underneath her jeans. I kiss down to her chest, and I drag my tongue and teeth across her breast.

 

"No. Stop." I feel Karma squirming underneath me. "No. Please stop." I let her hands go and try to move off of her, but she shoves me before I could.

 

"Karma what's wrong? Did I-."

 

"I said no," she screams at me, shoving me completely off of her. Before I could say anything I hear the bathroom door slam shut.

 

What the fuck just happened? "She led you on again you dumb ass! The only thing she wanted was an ego boost and the chance to reject you yet again," I tell myself, falling back on the mattress. I'm laying here staring at my ceiling when I finally hear the bathroom door open. I have sobered up by this point. Karma slides into bed next to me and thanks to Lauren's lighting I can see her eyes are puffy, telling me she had been crying. She tries to cuddle up to me so I get out of bed.

 

"You want to tell me what the hell just happened?" I ask angrily, my voice laced with venom and resentment. She doesn't say anything, which pisses me off even more. "You just like the attention and ego boost right?" I know I'm taking cheap shots at this point, but I don't care. "You get off on the fact that there is someone out there that loves you and wants you right? To hell with their feelings right?"

 

"Amy it's-."

 

"I don't want to hear it Karma. I'm tired of being led on and rejected by you. This shit has been going on for ten years now."

 

"I didn't reject you Amy," she says, her eyes pleading with me to sit back down.

 

"Bullshit! What do you call what just happened? You realized you were going there with me and you freaked the fuck out. Am I really that horrible of a person Karma? Why is it I am never enough for you?"

 

"Amy, it had nothing to do with you. I swear."

 

"Well I don't fucking believe you Karma," I say pacing the floor of my room now, fighting back tears.

 

"Amy."

 

"No Karma. No. You don't get to tell me," and I lose it. I'm sobbing so hard that I can't speak anymore. I slide down on the floor, leaning up against the foot of my bed. I take a deep breath to compose myself. "Karma, I haven't been with anyone since you. You are the only person I have ever truly wanted," I say sniffling. "I have only ever wanted you and when we spent that night together, you were asleep in my arms. I couldn't stop watching you sleep and all I could think about was a future with you. Our wedding. Having kids run around our back yard. Growing old with you. Hell, I was even trying to figure out how I was going to ask Lauren to go ring shopping with me when the time came."

 

"Amy."

 

"Karma, you are all I want and if you don't want me, that's fine. I'll figure it out. But please, please don't make me think that I am finally enough for you and that I have a chance with you when I don't. When you left, I lost everything Karma. And if that happens again I know that I won't survive it. So please -," 

 

"Amy," Karma says cutting my rambling off.

 

"Karma please...please I'm begging you -," I say still crying.

 

"Amy would you be quiet for a minute. I'm trying to talk to you." I nod, wiping the tears off my face. She sits down in my lap wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I can see in her eyes that she is hurting.

 

"Aims," she says pushing my hair behind my ear. "I want you. I am so in love with you and I don't want to be with anyone else."

 

"Then why did you panic like that? Karma I saw fear in your eyes. Fear. I would never hurt you," I tell her, rubbing her lower back under her shirt.

 

"I know Amy. I know that you would never hurt me. I know that I screwed up with you and that it will take time for you to trust me again, it's just...at dinner and again at the club. I thought I saw him. I thought I saw Tyler and that he was back. When we were in bed, I saw him again when I closed my eyes and I panicked."

 

"Karms."

 

"Amy stop. It's my turn. I need to say this and it may be hard to hear. When I was in Nashville, when he started hurting me, there were a few times that he wanted more from me." Looking in her eyes I could see her pain. "And I went along with it even though I didn't want to. I thought that it would keep him happy. Keep him from smacking me around." I see tears run down her cheeks and I pull her into me, holding her. "Aims I am so sorry for everything that I have done to make you question and doubt me and how I feel about you. I will spend every day-," I couldn't hear any more so I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss.

 

"I am so sorry Karma, I didn't know," I tell her, so ashamed of myself at this point. "Why don't we both get a shower, separately," I say with a small smile as Karma pouts at my suggestion, "And watch something on Netflix?" She whispers okay and tries to stand up, but I keep her in my lap. I rest my forehead on hers and say, "Karma, the only way this will work is if we tell each other everything. No matter how big or small, or how silly it may be. No hiding behind lame excuses and covers. Everything Karma. Okay?"

 

"Okay," she whispers back and for the first time Karma initiates the kiss. It was a soft, chaste kiss, but it was still a Karma kiss. She hops up and runs to the bathroom. Thirty minutes later, we are snuggled up watching a documentary.

 

"Karma I'm really sorry about earlier." She raises her head off my shoulder to look at me.

 

"No apologies," she tells me before kissing me again and laying her head back down on my chest. "I love you Amy."

 

"I love you too Karma."

 

*************************

 

It's been about two weeks since New Year's Eve and things are slowly getting better. Amy has been less distant. She's still keeping busy with work and going to the gym, but it seems like she is trying to open up to me more. Since New Year's, every morning I have woken up to Amy being right next to me in bed. Today is the first day of the spring semester and my first day as a teacher. My first class went pretty well, but I'm more worried about my music theory class. I'm reviewing my lesson plan for that class when I'm interrupted by a knock on the door. I look up to see one of the graduate assistants standing there.

 

"Ms. Ashcroft, these were just delivered for you," the young woman says walking over to my desk with a vase of two dozen red roses. She sits them down and I thank her as she's leaving. This really made my day. Amy sent me flowers. I find the small card and open it.

 

I hope your first day in the classroom is great. I'll see you soon Karma! xoxo

 

I'm on cloud nine right now. My last class goes perfectly for a first day and I can't wait to get home and see Amy. I get home around six and go straight to the kitchen where I find Lauren and Reagan.

 

"Wow! Look at you...getting roses on your first day," smirks Reagan. I smile and sit them down on the counter. This day has been so amazing and I am so happy.

 

*************************

 

Sara and I get home about six thirty and hear everyone in the kitchen. As soon as we walk in Karma rushes me, wrapping me in a tight hug. I can't help but laugh at this girl. She is super cute when she is like this. She pulls back, our arms still around each other.

 

"What was that for?" I ask her.

 

"For being completely amazing. And thank you for the flowers," she says squeezing me in another hug.

 

"What flowers?" I ask, thoroughly confused at this point. I see Karma's eyes widen and my heart starts racing.

 

"C'mon Amy. Don't lie. These are beautiful," Lauren says pointing to a vase of roses sitting on the counter. 

 

"I didn't send flowers to Karma," I say as I feel my blood pressure rising, my head beginning to pound, thinking about what Karma told me last night.

 

"Well, if you didn't, then who did?" asks Sara as she reaches for the card attached to the vase. I feel Karma stiffen up in my arms. I look over Karma's shoulder to see Lauren, Reagan, and Sara reading the card.

 

"Karms come here," I say pulling her into me and she is still stiff, her breathing becoming more erratic. I wrap both arms around her tightly and she buries her face in my neck. "Shh...it's okay. Everything is going to be okay," I whisper to her. I look up to see Lauren pull out her phone. We make eye contact and she has this "no one fucks with my family" look on her face. She walks out onto the back porch clearly needing to make a phone call. Karma is still crying and I feel her tears on my neck.

 

"I can't believe he's back. Why can't he just leave me alone? I'm scared Amy," she says sobbing. I look up to Sara and Reagan, to see both of them wearing looks of concern. Sara pulls her phone out and starts texting and Reagan looks like she is working through a schedule for "Karma duty" so she will have someone with her 24/7. Sara mouths at me that she sent Ashley a text. Since Sara and I have known Ashley we both feel like she is someone that you don't want to fuck with. She has this vibe about her, and being filthy rich in Vegas, well we don't ask a lot of questions. Sara's phone starts ringing as soon as she lays it down on the counter. She answers it and then quickly walks over to me. She shows me that it is Ashley and puts the phone up to my ear.

 

"Hey Ashley," I say still holding Karma close.

 

"I'll get my people on this Amy," Ashley tells me and then the line goes dead. I nod at Sara and she walks back over to Reagan.

 

"It's gonna be okay Karms. I'm here. We are all here," I reassure her as she continues to cry on my shoulder. I hold her tight and rest my chin against her temple. I will protect this girl no matter what it takes, no matter what it costs.


	15. Chapter 15

It's been a couple of weeks since the "roses" incident and Karma seems to be taking it all in stride. She hasn't had any problems sleeping and has now been nightmare free for more than a month. I feel bad for her though. She has been through so much and this fucker just won't quit. The only time Karma gets a chance to be alone is when she is home, but even then someone is always in the house with her. Ashley really came through for her. She has two armed escorts whenever she leaves the house. Ashley said they are better than the secret service which tells me they probably have extensive military experience. They're not much older than us and they blend in everywhere. It's comforting to know that Karma is safe and protected when I'm not able to be there.

 

On top of the armed security provided by Ashley, Lauren has made sure that APD would increase their patrols around our neighborhood, Karma's school, and the hospital. I know Lauren wants to nail this asshole, but I have a feeling that if this bastard slips up, Ashley's people will permanently erase his existence. I would be totally okay with that. Although Lauren and Ashley seem to have a handle on the security, I'm still going to the gym every day. It not only helps with the stress, but it makes me feel like I could protect Karma should it ever become necessary. Sara has started coming with me. She used to fight and train when she was in college, and she said she wanted to be ready if the son of a bitch made an appearance.

 

It's four thirty in the morning and I'm about to meet Sara downstairs before going to the gym. This will be the first time in a couple of weeks that Karma will wake up without me, but hopefully the note I'm leaving on the nightstand will make up for it. I gently kiss her forehead and quietly make my way downstairs to the kitchen. I find Sara plating two egg white omelets and we sit down at the island for our pre-workout breakfast. She is such a health and fitness nut, but I appreciate that about her. She's kept me from gaining a shit ton of weight from donuts.

 

"Good morning killa," Sara says jokingly as she takes a bite of her omelet.

 

"Really?" I ask raising an eyebrow, taking a gulp of water with my multivitamin.

 

"I thought it was fitting given what you do every morning at the gym."

 

"Well, wouldn't you be doing the same thing if Reagan were in Karma's shoes?" I ask between bites of my omelet. She hesitates for a moment before answering.

 

"Yeah, but I'd also be praying for a chance to strangle the bastard with my bare hands," she says with a very serious and straight face. "Changing the subject...are you and Karma 'official' now?"

 

"No, we're not official."

 

"Well you guys are...you know," she says waggling her eyebrows.

 

"No," I reply taking the last bite of my breakfast. "We aren't even making out like horny teenagers." At that Sara drops her fork on her plate.

 

"What the hell is wrong you? You go to bed every night with the love of your life and you're telling me that there's no 'lady lovin' happening?" I just shake my head, wondering when Sara turned into Shane.

 

"Nope."

 

"You can't let yourself go there with her can you?" I don't answer her. I just look down at the counter top in front of me, waiting on her mini lecture. "Look Amy, I'm not going to lecture you, but I will say this. You have to put this behind you and move forward if you want your happily ever after with Karma. You need to stop worrying about next week, next month and start living in the today."

 

"Look at you being all sweet and philosophical," I laugh making fun of her.

 

"Yeah, well I figured it sounded better than telling you to quit being a pussy and fuck Karma's brains out already." My mouth drops open. Honestly, I shouldn't be surprised. Sara has always had a way of being vulgar and brash when given the opportunity. "You two should have dinner with me and Reagan tonight and then we can meet up with everyone at the open mic night. You know take her on a date, then bring her home and..."

 

"Yeah, yeah. I get it," I spit out quickly, cutting her off. There's a couple of minutes of comfortable silence before Sara speaks again.

 

"How's Kate doing? Things still going well with that?" Sara asks. We usually don't discuss this, but at five o'clock in the morning, I know we are the only ones up.

 

"Yeah. Kate is amazing. I can't believe I lucked out with her."

 

"Yeah, she is pretty awesome. I'm glad we saw her at Rain a few weeks ago." Before I could say anything to Sara, Karma came walking into the kitchen. She looked like she was half asleep and I'm really hoping she didn't hear anything about Kate. I know her insecurities can get the best of her.

 

"Hey Karma," Sara says grabbing her bags. "I was just telling Amy that you two should join Reagan and I for dinner tonight. We'll make it a double date." Karma doesn't say anything, so I get up and walk over to her.

 

"Karma? What do you say? Double date, let me take you out?" I sweetly ask as I put my arm around her waist and pull her close. She doesn't speak but nods in agreement, clutching the bottle of water she just pulled out of the refrigerator. I don't know if that was a genuine yes. "Okay then. I'll text you later," I say before kissing her forehead. "I love you."

 

"I love you too Amy." I smile at her then grab my bags and walk out of the house with Sara.

 

*****************************

I wake up in the middle of the night and roll over to cuddle with Amy except I'm alone in bed. I reach for my phone to check the time and find a note from Amy.

 

Karma,  
I wanted to get to the gym before work this morning with Sara.  
I'm sorry I'm not there to snuggle with you, but I promise I'll   
make it up to you. I'll call you later. xoxo  
Love,   
Amy 

 

A sleepy smile stretches across my face until I see that it is about five in the morning. Shit. I did not want to be up this early. I decide to head down stairs to get some water before trying to go back to sleep. I figured Amy and Sara had already left so I was surprised when I overheard them talking in the kitchen.

 

"How's Kate doing? Things still going well with that?" I hear Sara ask Amy. Who the hell is Kate?

 

"Yeah, Kate is amazing. I can't believe I lucked out with her," Amy replies. What the hell? Is Amy and Kate seeing each other? I mean that would explain why Amy won't make a move on me. I mean hell, I can't even get her to make out with me like we're horny fifteen year old kids.

 

"Yeah, she is pretty awesome. I'm glad we saw her at Rain a few weeks ago." So that's the woman that was flirting with Amy at the bar that night. I can't listen to this anymore so I walk into the kitchen and go straight to the refrigerator.

 

"Hey Karma," Sara says grabbing her bags. "I was just telling Amy that you two should join Reagan and I for dinner tonight. We'll make it a double date." Double date my ass. Why don't you ask Kate instead? I don't say anything, but Amy gets up and walks over to me.

 

"Karma? What do you say? Double date...let me take you out?" she asks as she puts her arm around me and pulls me in. I don't speak, but nod my head saying yes, squeezing the hell out of the bottle of water I'm holding. "Okay then. I'll text you later." She kisses my forehead. "I love you."

 

"I love you too Amy." After hearing that she smiles and leaves with Sara. This is just fucking perfect. After hearing that exchange between Amy and Sara there is no way I'm going back to sleep, so I decide to start my day at 5:15am. I get a shower, get dressed for work, and head downstairs an hour later where I'm greeted by my primary armed escort.

 

"Good morning Ms. Ashcroft," Kim greets me, standing up from the couch.

 

"Karma...not Ms. Ashcroft," I remind her with a smile.

 

"I'm sorry Karma. It's just a habit," she states firmly.

 

"Kim you need to relax and forget all the formalities, at least when it is just the two of us." She smiles and nods, sitting back down on the couch and picking up the newspaper in front of her. She's in her early thirties and reminds me of Sara. They're about the same height, but she's more muscular with long, light brown hair and golden brown eyes. I know she's spent a lot of time over seas, but when I try and ask her about her adventures she always smiles and changes the subject.

 

"Karma when you're ready to leave, let me know and I'll have Robert bring the car around."

 

"I'm ready now. Figured I would try and get some piano practice in before classes." Kim pulls out her cell phone, makes a call, and five minutes later we are headed to campus. It is so weird to have this kind of attention and protection. I honestly feel like some of this is unnecessary, but whatever keeps the gang happy right? My armed security team never says much, but I have this feeling that if given the chance, they would kill Tyler without batting an eye. My morning goes smoothly and I'm in my office eating lunch when my phone rings. Amy is calling. I hesitate in answering, but I can't stop myself from wanting to hear her voice, even if I am still pissed from this morning.

 

"Hey Amy," I answer between bites of my lunch.

 

"Hey Karma. I just wanted to call and check on you. How's your day going?" She's so sweet and it's making it difficult to stay upset with her about Kate. At some point I'll need to ask her about it, but not right now.

 

"It's going good. Eating lunch. How's your day going?"

 

"It's been pretty busy, but should be done around five today. So about tonight, will you go out with me...this double date dinner before the open mic show?" I can hear the nervousness in her voice and it's kind of adorable.

 

"Yes Amy. I'd love too."

 

"Great! I'll see you tonight. I've got to get back to work. I love you."

 

"I love you too," and the line goes dead, signaling the end of our call. The rest of the day is uneventful and at five thirty I'm trying to decide on a dress for my date tonight. Amy seemed to really like the one from Christmas Eve so I'll go with that one after a few minor changes. I walk downstairs to find Amy and Kim laughing hysterically. As soon as Amy sees me she becomes quiet, her eyes never leaving mine. She walks over to me and kisses my cheek. 

 

"You are so beautiful. Let's go, I'm starving."

 

"When are you not starving Aims," I tell her playfully and she just smiles at me. About thirty minutes into dinner I realize that things are different with Amy. She seems really happy and less guarded this evening. She hasn't even tried to hide the fact that she's stealing glances every couple of minutes. Dinner was amazing and as the checks were being dealt with I speak up.

 

"Sara, this was a great idea. Thank you for the invite." She nods and says you're welcome. I turn to Amy. "Thank you for dinner," I say leaning in and kissing her." She is all smiles but before she can say anything Reagan steals our moment.

 

"I hate to break you two love birds up right now, but we have an open mic we need to get to. Who knows Karma, we may actually see some decent talent tonight," Reagan tells us as she stands up from the table. We all make our way outside and I notice Kim and Robert. They're always there, but if you didn't know better, you would think they were out on a date too.

 

Amy has been really sweet tonight. On the drive to The White Horse dive bar Amy seems so relaxed and holding my hand while she's driving. She even kissed the back of my hand while we were stopped at a red light. But as my luck would have it, things would turn to shit as soon as we got inside. We hadn't been inside two minutes when the girl from New Year's Eve, Kate, walks up and steals Sara and Amy. Reagan and I are both a bit dumbfounded, but she shrugs it off and drags me to the tables our group is occupying. Twenty minutes later Sara sits down with us, but there is still no sign of Amy. A few minutes later Amy drops in the seat next to me, oblivious to the fact that I'm madder than hell right now.

 

"What's wrong?" she asks, concern lining her face.

 

"Oh, I don't know, I'm annoyed that my date ditched me for like thirty minutes when we got here."

 

"You can't be serious right now? God forbid I speak to someone other than you. Grow up Karma, you're being ridiculous."

 

"Excuse me?" 

 

"You heard me Karma. You know how I feel about you and if you don't believe me that's your problem," she yells back at me.

 

"Karma. Let's go sweetie, you're on in ten," Shane says with a smile.

 

"What? What are you talking about Shane?" I ask him, clearly pissed off at this point.

 

"You're playing on stage in ten. I brought your guitar and everything. It's backst-."

 

"Shane, I am not playing. I can't play," I say looking down at my hands. I'm still having trouble playing, but I haven't told anyone.

 

"Karma, you got this," Shane encourages me.

 

"Back off Shane, she doesn't want to play," Amy yells at him.

 

"Really? Now you're concerned about me Amy?" I snap back at her.

 

"Look. Someone has to go on, I can't have an empty slot," Matthew states.

 

"Karma you don't have to play guitar. Just get up there and sing," Shane pleads with me.

 

"She doesn't want to Shane!" Amy yells at Shane again.

 

"Amy," I say in unison with Kate....

 

"Just perfect. Really Amy? What are we doing?"

 

"I don't know Karma, you tell me," she yells back at me.

 

"This shit is getting good," Lauren says, her eyes bouncing off me and Amy like she's following a tennis match.

 

"Karma," whines Shane.

 

"Drop it Shane. Let's go Kate," Amy says, walking off with Kate.

 

"Amy where are you going?" Sara calls out to her.

 

"I'm fixing this shit show." Sara only smiles when she hears that, like she is in on some grand scheme.

 

"Can anyone tell me what the hell just happened?" Reagan asks everyone at the table.

 

"Screw this, I'm outta here," and I get half way to the door before Sara stops me.

 

"You're not going anywhere Karma. You're going to take your little ass back over there and sit down or I'm going to go all caveman on your ass and carry you back over there." I give Sara my best pissed off face, but she doesn't budge so I turn and walk back towards our table. "You can thank me later for saving your dumb, stubborn ass Karma. Now sit down and pay attention." I'm so pissed that I can't see anything but red and I really just want to pull my hair out and scream. Lauren's voice snaps me back to the moment.

 

"What the fuck is she doing? Lauren deadpans. I look up and follow Lauren's eyes. What the hell is Amy doing? She's on stage rolling her sleeves up and taking a guitar from Kate. She takes a seat on the stool in the middle of the stage and speaks into the mic.

 

"Hey everybody. This um- this is my first time on stage so uh, go easy on me. There seems to be some doubts about what I want. Or more specifically, who I want. So this is for the girl I met in a ball pit all those years ago." As she finishes she looks down and takes a few deep breaths...

 

No, this is not happening. The last time Amy was on a stage was the yo-yo debacle. What is she thinking? And out of nowhere, she starts finger picking on the acoustic guitar she's holding. A few bars later she looks up into the crowd and starts singing.

 

The first time I looked in your eyes I knew  
That I would do anything for you  
The first time you touched my face I felt  
What I'd never felt with anyone else

 

I want to give back, what you've given to me  
And I want to witness all of your dreams  
Now that you've shown me who I really am  
I want to be more than just your woman

 

I want to be the wind that fills your sails  
Be the hand that lifts your veil  
Be the moon that moves your tide  
And the sun coming up in your eyes  
Be the wheel that never rusts  
Be the spark that lights you up  
All that you've been dreaming of and more, so much more  
I want to be your everything

 

As soon as Amy finishes the chorus, the place goes wild. She's amazing! I have no idea where this came from. As if she couldn't get any sexier, she sings and plays guitar too. I look around our table and everyone is just gobsmacked. Sara is the only one that doesn't seem to be surprised and she's whistling like a fool. We make eye contact and she smiles and points to the stage, bringing my attention back to Amy. She's playing the guitar she bought me. I don't know what to say, but I hear her voice again.

 

When you wake up I'll be the first thing you see  
And when it gets dark you can reach out to me  
I'll cherish your words and I'll finish your thoughts  
I'll be your compass baby when you get lost

 

I'm gonna be the wind that fills your sails  
Be the hand that lifts your veil  
Be the moon that moves your tide  
The sun coming up in your eyes  
Be the wheel that never rusts  
Be the spark that lights you up  
All that you've been dreaming of and more, so much more  
I want to be your everything

 

The crowd is going nuts during the guitar interlude and Amy is all smiles. She is totally slaying this.

 

Well hey now I'll be the wheel that never rusts  
And I'll be the spark that lights you up  
All that you've been dreaming of and more, so much more pretty baby

 

Amy locks eyes with me, smiles and nods her head saying yes.

 

I want to be your everything  
I want to be your everything  
I want to be your everything  
Just give me a chance  
Please baby let me be your woman  
Cause I want to be your everything

 

As soon as the song ends, the place erupts in applause. Shane and Sara are going nuts. Kate runs out from backstage and high fives Amy as Amy hands her the guitar, pointing in my direction. Amy hops off the front of the small stage, and pushes her way through the crowd, stopping in front of me.

 

"Amy, I -,"

 

"Do you believe me now?" she says eyes glowing, smile wide across her face. I nod my head quickly and I find myself in her arms, being hugged tight. "I love you Karma. You. No one else. You are it for me. You are my everything." I feel a tear escape and roll down my cheek as she let's go of our hug. I look over her shoulder to see Kate approaching, carrying a guitar case. She smiles at Amy then Sara.

 

"Karma," Amy says bringing my attention back to her. "I'd like you to meet Kate. My guitar teacher." Kate extends her hand to shake mine.

"Karma it's so good to finally meet you. This one has been going on and on about you for a year and a half now," she says as she punches Amy in the arm playfully.

 

"Guitar teacher?" Reagan asks confused. "How did you find a guitar teacher?" Kate and I both look at Sara. "You knew about this?" Reagan asks Sara and Sara chuckles.

 

"Uh-huh. Kate and I were roommates in college." Sara tells us.

 

"Jesus! You mean I'm surrounded by musicians and we haven't recorded anything yet?" Reagan asks and we are all laughing together. Amy finally looks back at me.

 

"Let's go home." Amy says taking my hand in one of hers, and with my guitar case in her other hand we walk to her car.

 

******************************

Holy shit! That was rush! I can't believe I did that. Now I know why Karma and Kate love it so much. I basically just hopped up on stage, knocked it out of the park, then dropped the mic and exited stage front. I can't believe I'm headed to the car with Karma right now after all that. It's time I take Sara's advice. I need to stop being so scared and let myself go there with Karma. We get settled in the car and as I'm pulling out of the parking lot Karma starts the interrogation that I am patiently waiting for.

 

"You want to explain what just happened back there? Amy that was amazing. How? What? When did you start playing?" Karma finally stutters out. I just laugh because she's falling all over her words right now.

 

"A few weeks after you left Sara introduced me to Kate. I had a guitar, your Maton. I had a teacher, Kate. And I just wanted to have something in my life that kept me connected to you."

 

"Oh Amy," Karma reaches over and takes my hand. 

 

"No apologies," I say throwing her a wink and kissing the back of her hand. This night could not get any more perfect. A few minutes later we pull into the drive way at home, a light rain starting to become heavier. I turn off the car and turn to face Karma. I put my hand on the back of her neck, lean in, and kiss her softly. I pour every bit of love I have in me into that kiss and Karma reciprocates. When we pull away my phone beeps. A text message from Lauren. "Karma, I love you," I say kissing her again.

 

"I love you too Amy," she says through a toothy grin. We both get out of the car and I'm hoping we make it in the house before the bottom falls out of the sky and it starts pouring rain. I'm reading the text from Lauren and she's bitching at me about leaving without Robert and Kim, saying everyone will be here in five minutes. I'm snapped back to reality when I hear Karma scream.

 

"No Tyler, stop! Amy!" And I look up to see him backhand Karma and watch her slump to the ground.

 

******************************

The right side of my face feels like it is on fire and I'm a bit stunned. I look up to see Tyler standing over me. Out of nowhere someone tackles him to the ground. It takes a few seconds to process what happened since my mind is operating a bit slower and the heavy rain is making it hard to see clearly. I look over and see Amy and Tyler wrestling on the ground. They continue to roll around in the driveway, exchanging blows, until Tyler winds up on top of her with his hands around her neck.

 

"Amy!" I scream. At that moment she brings her arms up and over Tyler's arms and lands a blow to his face. In a split second, she is on top of Tyler, straddling him, pounding him with punches and elbows. I feel so helpless as I watch, wiping the rain from my eyes. He lands a punch to her face, startling her and then he reaches for her neck again. Before he could get a grip, Amy takes his arm with both hands and rolls until she is sitting with one leg on his face, the other on his chest. His arm is caught between her legs. She rocks back pulling on his arm. He cries out and I hear what sounds like bones breaking. She lets his arm go, sits up and drops an elbow across his face, followed by more punches.

 

"Amy baby!" I say trying to pull her off of a beaten and bloody Tyler. She stumbles to her feet and finally looks at me. She's soaked and dirty from rolling around on the ground. A trail of blood is running down the side of her face from a cut above her left eye. Her nose and lip are bleeding. This asshole worked her over.

 

"Are you okay?" she asks me through labored breathing, cupping my face with her hands and resting her forehead on mine, rain dripping off both our faces. Our clothes are completely soaked.

 

"I'm okay," I say, looking past her to a struggling man lying in the driveway. I look back at Amy. "I love you," I tell her hugging her tight and she winces underneath my touch. We are lost in each other and the craziness of what just happened until I hear a blood curling scream from what I think is Lauren. Amy and I both turn to see Tyler wobbling on his feet, one arm hanging limp at his side, the other holding a revolver, pointing it at us. Amy steps up and pulls me behind her right before Tyler lets out a menacing laugh.

 

"Game. Over," he smirks and I see Lauren and Robert running toward us behind Tyler. 

 

Lauren lets out a long, piercing cry for her sister, "Amy!" And in that precise moment, my ears start ringing after I hear one, single gun shot. 

 

A/N: The song Amy performed is Your Everything by Keith Urban. The acoustic version that Amy played can be found on BoomerSooner656 YouTube channel. Let me know what you guys think of the update and/or story. I appreciate feedback, and thanks for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

No. This can not be happening. I grab and tug on Amy trying to spin her around to face me. She stumbles, but I am able to catch her and hold her up. "Amy, baby. Please God no," I cry as I frantically search her body for any evidence that she's been shot. "Baby, please talk to me. Amy. Please say something," I beg as I try to find where she's been hit, but my head is spinning. Tears are clouding my vision and the rain is making it difficult to see. "Amy..."

 

"Karma. I'm...I'm fine," she informs me, looking like she is in a state of shock. "Look," she points out, motioning to the limp body laying a few feet away from us. Robert approaches us about the same time as Kim, both with weapons drawn. Kim is a step ahead of him and she kicks the revolver from Tyler's lifeless hand.

 

"Clear," she firmly states as she holsters her weapon. "Call it in," and Robert pulls out his cell phone to make a call.

 

"Is he?" I ask Kim as I still clutch tight to Amy. Kim doesn't speak, but she nods her head before turning her back to answer her phone.

 

"Amy. Karma, oh my God. Are you two okay? Lauren frantically asks.

 

"I'm fine," I reply as my teeth clatter together because I am shivering. "Amy?"

 

"I'm okay, but I think I've seen better days," Amy says holding her arm across her body, hugging herself.

 

"We need to get you to a hospital Amy. You're hurt," Lauren says with tears pooling in her eyes.

 

"I'm not going to a hospital, but can we get out of the rain please? It's fucking cold."

 

"Yeah, but stay in the kitchen. You'll both have to give a statement to the police. I'll grab some towels," she tells us as we walk into the house. Within minutes the driveway, yard, and house was nothing but chaos. Dozens of first responders were scattered around. Amy and I were immediately separated when the first officers arrived so we could give our statements. We reunited in the kitchen, joining Lauren, Reagan, and Sara. As soon as Amy saw me she rushed over.

 

"Karma, are you okay? Let me see," she says, cupping my face with her hands. "You're going to have a small bruise," she says as she runs her thumb over my cheek bone. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" I can't believe how much I love her. How much I am in love with her. I have never had anyone fight for me like that and physically put themselves between me and danger. I hope she knows just how much I love her.

 

"Amy I'm fine. I promise. I'm more worried about you. Will you let Sara look at you?"

 

"That's not necessary," she assures me.

 

"Amy, please," I plead with her.

 

"C'mon Amy. Let me make sure you're okay," Sara says as she leads Amy out of the kitchen and upstairs.

 

"I'll be up in a few minutes guys," I tell them as they leave the kitchen. 

 

*************************

 

I'm not really sure what happened tonight when we got home. It all happened so fast. Karma was threatened and I just reacted. All I saw was red. If Karma hadn't of pulled me off of him, I probably would have beat that son of a bitch to death with my bare hands. And then I just knew it was all over when I turned to see a gun trained on us. Again I didn't think, I just reacted. I had to protect Karma at all costs, so I stepped up in front of her to shield her. In that moment, when I thought it was all over, the only thing I could think about was Karma, and how I wished for things to be different. Thinking that I might die, the only regret I had was holding back from Karma. Because of tonight's incident, I will try my best to not hold back from her anymore. I thought that I was loving her as best as I could since I was so scared to get hurt again, but I was only lying to myself and punishing her.

 

I walked into the bathroom with Sara behind me and I slowly slid up to a sitting position on the bathroom counter. "Alright, let's check that hard head of yours," Sara tells me as she stops right between my knees, reaching to touch the left side of my face. I wince in pain as she gets near the cut over my left eye, then again over my cheek.

 

"I don't think you broke anything, but you could use one, maybe two sutures for that supra orbital laceration."

 

"Butterflies or Steri-Strips will work. I'm not going to a hospital," I remind her. There is a few seconds of silence before Sara speaks up.

 

"You really fucked him up Amy. Dislocated elbow and I'm sure he had a few facial fractures from the beating you gave him."

 

"Yeah, well if Kim didn't do what she did-,"

 

"Amy don't. There's no reason to go there. At least you and Karma know he'll never bother you again."

 

"Where was he hit?" I ask as I fidget nervously on the counter.

 

"Head shot. Hit him right above the ear. Probably dead before he hit the ground," Sara says as she steps to my side. "Anything else I need to check out? You know, to keep that girlfriend of yours happy."

 

"Just bruised hands, elbows, and maybe a cracked rib...and she's not my girlfriend."

 

"You are fucking shitting me right? Do I need to smack some sense into you right now?" I shake my head no. "Amy, what if Karma lost you toni-," 

 

"Sara stop."

 

"No. Humor me for a minute. What if Karma lost you tonight? Or if you lost her, would you have any regrets?" I don't answer. I just look at the floor because we both know my answer to that is yes. We are both startled by a knock on the open bathroom door and when I look up I see Karma. It doesn't matter if she's in that black dress from earlier, or the v-neck t-shirt and sweatpants she's wearing now. She will always be the most beautiful girl in the world.

 

"Hey, we're just finishing up," Sara tells Karma. "She'll be sore for a few days, but she's fine." Karma and I haven't broken eye contact and she slowly walks over to me. "Hey, Sugar Ray," Sara says snapping her fingers at me. When I look at her she leaves me with some advice. "Today Amy. Not next week. Not next month, but today." She smiles and says goodnight to both of us and leaves Karma and I alone in our shared bathroom.

 

"So, you're okay?" Karma asks softly as she walks up in front of me, stopping between my knees.

 

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just scrapes and bruises. Are you okay?" I ask her realizing this is the first time we've been alone since all that shit went down earlier tonight. She doesn't say anything, just nods her head as I see tears pooling in her eyes. "Hey. Come here," I tell her reaching out for her as I slide to the edge of the counter top. She steps closer and wraps her arms around my neck as I wrap my arms around her waist.

 

"Amy, I love you. I love you so much and I don't know what I'd do without you. God, I hope you know how much I love you," she whimpers into my neck and I know she's crying because I can feel her tears on my skin.

 

"Shh. It's okay Karms," I tell her as I brush my fingers up and down her back, trying to comfort her. After a few seconds, she pulls back and brushes my hair behind my ear.

 

"Please tell me you know how much I love you."

 

"I know Karma," I reassure her. Her hand drops from the side of my face down to my neck and when her fingers brush across the skin of my neck I feel myself shiver at her touch.

 

"Amy, you're shivering. You need to get out of these wet clothes and get a hot shower to warm-up." Her eyes are on mine before they drop down to my lips. She glances back up to my eyes and I feel her hands cupping my face tenderly. She leans in and presses a soft, barely there kiss to my lips. I reach up and wrap my hands around her wrists. She pulls back slightly, forehead resting on mine, noses still touching. "I'm gonna go make us some hot tea while you get a shower, okay?" She whispers. 

 

Do not let her leave. Tell her. Show her. Not next week, but today. Stop holding back and love her with everything you have. My mind is racing when I feel her slipping through my grasp.

 

"No," I state firmly, not letting her wrists go. She looks at me with love and concern. "No. I don't want tea."

 

"Amy, I think it will make you feel-,"

 

"Stay. Please stay with me," my eyes pleading with her, my hands now holding hers between us.

 

"Okay," she says pulling her hands from mine. "I'll stay." I slide off the counter and close both bathroom doors. Karma is watching me like a hawk. As soon as we are closed off in the bathroom, I turn the shower on wanting to fill the room with warmth. I turn back to her and she's leaning up against the bathroom counter. I take a deep breath to steady myself before walking over to her. I don't even really stop. In one smooth motion I put a hand on the back of her neck and gently pull her into me, catching her lips with mine. Our kiss is soft. Slow. Full of purpose. As her arms slide around my neck, I wrap mine around her waist with my hands sneaking up under the hem of her t-shirt, resting my hands on her bare lower back. I hesitantly brush her lips with my tongue, tasting her strawberry lip balm. I feel her hands move from the back of my neck to my collarbones. She begins to slowly unbutton my damp shirt. As she gets down to the button near my navel, I lean forward and pick her up, sitting her on the edge of the bathroom counter. When she unbuttons the last button of my shirt, her hands move to my shoulders and she pushes my shirt off. As soon as my shirt hits the floor, I wrap one arm around her waist and use my free hand to lift her thigh, pulling her body flush with mine. When my lips hit her neck, I feel the button of my pants pop open and her hands pushing my pants down around my hips. I reach for the hem of her shirt, tugging on it.

 

"Karms, is this okay?" I ask between heavy breaths, asking permission to pull her shirt off. She responds only by lifting her hands above her head, allowing me to take her shirt off. I drop her shirt on the counter behind her and kiss her again. This time much deeper, catching her top lip between mine and gently sucking. She moans into my mouth before pulling away and attaching her lips to my neck. I pull her back up so I could see her beautiful eyes. "I love you Karma," I remind her.

 

"I love you too," she says trying to control her breathing. I kiss her neck softly.

 

"Amy. You need to strip," her breath hitching as I nibble on her pulse point. "You need to strip and get in the shower."

 

"Uh-uh. Not without you," I breathe into her neck. She pulls my face up to look at me.

 

"Yes, and I'll be right behind you," she informs me with a soft smile. She places one more soft kiss on my lips before pushing me back and sliding off the bathroom counter. I smile, completely mesmerized by her beauty, watching her step out of her sweatpants.

 

"Strip Raudenfeld," she says playfully and she won't have to tell me twice. I'm naked and in the shower within seconds, letting the warm water flow over my head and shoulders. I'm enjoying the feel of the water cascading over me when I feel a soft hand pulling at my hip, asking me to turn around. I turn around and put my arms around her, pulling her under the spray and kissing her. We both smile into the kiss.

 

"Hey you," I whisper softly.

 

"Hey," she responds. I lean in for another kiss when she stops me by placing a finger on my lips. "We should get you cleaned up. And that," she says pointing to the cut above my eye, "You need to take care of."

 

"You're serious?" I ask her, more than annoyed that she just put the brakes on this. She reaches for my shampoo, pours some into the palm of her hand, then starts massaging my scalp and hair. It feels amazing and my eyes flutter closed. This is definitely a first. I'm lost in the moment when I feel her nibbling on my ear lobe. 

 

"Fuck," I groan and she just smiles, enjoying the fact that she can do this to me. She's killing me right now, but maybe she's not ready to go there. Or maybe she's just being a tease. We take turns washing each other, stealing kisses and touches the whole time. When we're finished I turn the water off and Karma is quick out of the shower. I dry off quickly, steri-strip the cut above my eye, and walk into my bedroom wrapped in a towel. I don't know where Karma disappeared to. Hell, I don't know what's going on right now. I walk over to my dresser to grab some sweats and a t-shirt. As I'm pulling the clothes out of my dresser drawer I feel arms wrap around me and a soft kiss on my bare shoulder.

 

"I don't think you'll be needing those right now," Karma whispers in my ear. I drop the clothes back in the drawer and spin around. I'm face to face with Karma who is wrapped in a towel too.

 

"Are you sure?" I ask with a playful smirk, brushing my fingertips across the bruise on her cheek. She nods and I can see the nervousness on her face. "Karms. We won't do anything that you don't want to do."

 

"I know. I just don't want this to happen to fast."

 

"I think I can manage that," I say smiling then leaning in to kiss her. She breaks the kiss and pulls me over to the bed. She drops her towel before crawling up on the bed. I slowly follow her lead, crawling up to her, hovering over her and admiring her beauty. "Are you sure this is okay?" I ask, not wanting to hurt or scare her.

 

"Amy, I'm sure. I want you to stop over thinking and worrying and just make love to me." Before I could respond, she pulls me down into a kiss. I pull her hands off of my neck as I sit up and carefully lean back down over her, pressing her hands into the mattress, our fingers intertwined, taking her lips with mine. I pull back up to see if she's okay. "Amy, it's okay," she reassures me and I lean in to kiss her neck and I can smell the lavender body wash. I let go of her hands and carefully slide down her body, peppering her neck and shoulders with light kisses. I look up at her again, almost distracted by the thunderstorm raging on outside.

 

"You are so beautiful," I remind her. When I say that I notice that she slides both hands down to cover the scar on her stomach. "Please don't," I beg. "Please don't hide from me. I love all of you Karma." I remove one of her hands and gently kiss her scar. She removes her other hand and runs it through my hair. Once I have kissed every inch of her abdominal scar, I move over to my left and raise her right arm above her head. I gently brush my fingers across the scar under her arm from her chest tube, before leaning down to kiss it like I did her abdominal scar. As I lean up to kiss her neck, she rolls us over so she is on top, straddling my hips, and pinning my hands down next to my ears.

 

"My turn," she says with a husky voice and a smile across her face. She leans down and starts sucking and nipping at my neck, causing me to moan her name. A moan that did nothing but encourage her to keep going. She kissed her way down between my breasts, then as her mouth took my breast, her hand took my other one. I arched up off the bed, bucking my hips into her as she kept kissing her way down my body.

 

"Karma." She didn't stop. She just kept kissing and nipping at my stomach, then at my hip bones, making me buck my hips again. I propped up on my elbows just in time to see her disappear between my thighs. "Oh my God," I moan as my head drops back. I fall back down onto the bed and Karma's holding my hips down. It didn't take long before I felt her inside of me, fingers curling up into me. "Karma...I'm. I'm...gonna," I pant out. She quickly kisses her way back up to my face, her hand never stopping. I pull her down and kiss her hard, my hands sliding down to her hips, one pulling her against me, the other sliding through her wet folds.

 

"Fuck Amy," she moans out as I continue rubbing her. "Fuck. I can't. I'm gonna..."

 

"Come with me baby," I whisper. I feel how close she is. "Don't stop Karma. Don't stop." It doesn't take long to push her over the edge and feeling and watching her come pushed me over the edge too. We came together. After we caught our breath I rolled us over onto our sides facing each other. "I love you," I tell her, kissing her softly.

 

"I love you too Amy." She nuzzles into my neck as I draw circles on her back. She falls asleep first and I can't imagine life being any more perfect. I lay there watching her sleep and listening to the rain hit my bedroom windows. I kiss her forehead and pull her tight to me before falling asleep too.

 

*************************

I wake up to the sound of rain pelting the bedroom windows. I roll over to see Amy still sleeping with her back to me, the blanket down around her waist. I can't help but notice the bruises and cuts on her back from the scuffle last night. I slide closer to her, brushing my fingers lightly across the bruises and cuts. After a few minutes she starts to stir and I lightly kiss her shoulder. She suddenly rolls over to face me, propping herself up on her elbow, her hand supporting her head.

 

"Good morning," I tell her after pulling back from a chaste kiss.

 

"You're still here," she says with a surprised look on her face.

 

"I'm still here," I reassure her, brushing my fingers up and down her arm. "I love you Amy. Here with you is the only place I want to be." She takes her free arm and throws it over my hips, pulling me into her.

 

"I love you too," she whispers into my hair before kissing my forehead, then my cheek.

 

"Amy," I say gently pushing her back. "Am I your girlfriend?" I ask.

 

"Well, do you want to be?" she replies.

 

"Yes," I tell her, nodding my head.

 

"Hmm...I suppose I'll think about it then," she says with a smirk and I playfully shove her arm. Before I knew it, her lips were on mine. When we pulled back for air I asked, "What are you doing?" She gave me her wonderful, dorky smile and replied.

 

"Making up for lost time," she says before kissing me again and rolling us over, hiding us under the covers. 

 

A/N: So this can go a couple of ways. It can wrap up in a couple of chapters, or I can keep it going for a little bit. Let me know what you want. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

The sound of a hard rain assaulting my bedroom windows woke me from a sound sleep. Thinking about everything that happened last night with Karma, and again this morning makes a smile creep across my face. I start to stretch out so I can roll over and see the love of my life sound asleep beside me, but as I start to I am hit with a sudden rush of pain. I was sore last night and even sorer this morning when Karma woke me up, but this is now borderline excruciating. I feel like I was hit by a truck and after hit it me, it backed over me, then plowed me again. I'm struggling to get rolled over and at the same time thinking that Lauren may have been right about going to the hospital. Why do I have to be so damn stubborn sometimes? I finally get rolled over to see that I am alone in bed. There's no sign of Karma and somehow I managed to bolt upright in bed. This can't be happening again. I'm trying to scramble out of bed to try and find her, by my foot gets caught in the comforter and I land shoulder first on my bedroom floor.

 

"Fuck!" I scream out in pain as tears run down my cheeks. I'm frantically trying to untangle my foot when I hear her.

 

"Oh my God. Amy, what happened? Are you okay?" she asks, sliding down on the floor in front of my naked body, wrapped in a towel.

 

"K-Karma," I try and huff out. Karma immediately wraps me up in a hug, pulling the comforter over both of us.

 

"Its okay baby. I'm here. I'm here," she reassures me as she's rocking me in her arms. "I'm here," she whispers after kissing the top of my head. We stay cuddled up on the floor, tightly wrapped in each others arms until my breathing returns to normal. I slowly pull back from Karma's embrace.

 

"Karms, I'm sor-,"

 

"No. Don't you dare apologize. You have nothing to be sorry about," she tells me, cupping my face in her hands. "Nothing Amy. It's just gonna take time. I'm not going anywhere," she says before placing a soft, loving kiss on my lips. "Are you okay?" she asks nuzzling my nose with hers. "I heard you fall from in the bathroom," she informs me, our foreheads resting together.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just banged up a bit," I tell her before kissing her softly.

 

"Why don't you get a shower and we'll go downstairs and I'll whip us up something to eat...okay?" I can't respond because I'm completely lost in her eyes. "Amy?"

 

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great," I say kissing her forehead, then trying to stand. I'm struggling to get to my feet because I'm tangled up in the blanket. Karma is on her feet laughing at me as I struggle to keep myself covered.

 

"You know Aims, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I have seen you naked before," she says giggling. I feel my cheeks flush red with embarrassment as I continue fighting with my comforter. "Okay. Well, I'm going to finish my shower," she says dropping her towel and throwing it over her shoulder as she turns to walk towards the bathroom. "Feel free to join me," she calls out before disappearing into the bathroom. I immediately drop the comforter to the floor and rush to the bathroom as fast as my battered body allowed.

 

I have no idea how long we spent in the shower. We were both still enjoying it when we ran out of hot water. We finished up in the bathroom, stealing kisses and touches the entire time. We both dressed in sweats and long sleeve t-shirts and went downstairs. We couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. Karma stopped in the middle of the living room, pulling me into her and wrapping her arms around my waist.

 

"It's really quiet. I guess we have the house to ourselves," she says playfully, wiggling her eyebrows. I smile and push her hair behind her ear, resting my hand on her cheek.

 

"I guess so," I whisper before catching her lips with mine. Before I could deepen our kiss, she squirms away from me, giggling, moving toward the kitchen. I catch her before she walks into the kitchen, wrapping an arm around her waist from behind. Using my free hand I brush her hair away from her neck. As I lean forward and place a kiss on the nape of her neck, she stumbles forward into the kitchen pulling me with her. She spins quickly in my arms and pulls me down into a kiss. Her kisses make me weak in the knees, and I stumble a little with her pulling on me.

 

"You okay babe?" She asks, smiling into another kiss.

 

"Ahem!" As soon as I heard that I froze and so did Karma. We both slowly turned to face the island in the kitchen. Fuck. The kitchen was full of people. The deafening silence was broken by Sara. She snapped her fingers before tapping the counter top with her fingertips. Everyone in the kitchen started grumbling as they all reached for their wallets. Lauren, Jonathan, Shane, Matthew, Liam, Ashley, and Reagan pulled out cash and threw it in a pile in front of Sara.

 

"Thank you losers for playing," she says counting the cash, gloating in front of everyone.

 

"Oh, fuck off Sara," Lauren snaps at her. "And you," she says pointing at me. "You cost me fifty bucks," she tells me, throwing me a smile and a wink. Shane can't contain his excitement.

 

"Come here you two," he says as he hugs us both at the same time. "I'm such a proud papa." When he pulls away he tell us both, "I'm really glad you two are okay with what happened last night. I don't know what I would do if I lost either one of you."

 

And that's how the next few hours went. Lots of hugs and heart felt moments shared with our friends and family. I was really happy when Robert and Kim came by. It gave me a chance to thank them for everything they had done to protect Karma and for being in the right place and right time last night.

 

For some reason, we had a catered lunch. I don't know who's idea it was, but it was brilliant. Pulled pork, chicken, brisket, and all the essential fixins'. It was enough food to feed a small army and it was delivered, which kept us from going out in the torrential downpour which is uncharacteristic for Austin right now.

 

It felt really good to be surrounded by so many people that I care about. I talked to Kim briefly about last night. I thought maybe she would be having a hard time dealing with what happened. Come to find out it was just another day for her, and I got the impression that last night was not a first for her either. I tried my best to mingle, but was having a hard time. My pain and discomfort was only getting worse. I kept stealing glances of Karma and it didn't take her long to put two and two together. She walked up behind me, wrapping her arms around me and squeezing me into a hug. I tensed and squirmed as soon as she wrapped me up from all the pain. I hurt everywhere.

 

"Aims, are you okay?" she asks, concern and worry in her eyes. She loosened her grip and I turned to look at her over my shoulder.

 

"Yeah, I'm good. Just hurting a bit and really uncomfortable," I tell her. The look in her eyes tells me that she doesn't believe me. "I'm gonna go lay down," I tell her, turning around and kissing her forehead before heading off to my bedroom. I figured a nap would do me some good, since the naproxen I took earlier wasn't helping, which means I may need something stronger.

 

I find myself lying face down on my bed. I don't know how long I had been napping, so I reach for my phone to check the time. Shit. I'd been out for a couple of hours. As I reached over to put my phone back on the nightstand, I heard faint noises coming from Karma's room. It took me a moment to process what I was hearing, but someone was strumming a guitar. I slowly sat up in bed throwing my legs over the side, resting my feet on the floor. I'm fucking hurting. I hurt everywhere and clearly the Motrin and Aleve are not helping. My curiosity had gotten the best of me and I finally get to my feet, walking toward Karma's room.

 

I stop just before entering her room and she's sitting on her bed, strumming the guitar I gave her. After a few seconds, I can tell that she's not playing like she used to and I can see tears and frustration on her face as she's trying to play through a chord progression.

 

"Damn it!" Karma groans, clearly annoyed and frustrated. I hate seeing her like this so I decided to knock on the door, getting her attention.

 

"Hey you. Can I come in?" I ask, giving her a loving smile. Her eyes light up a bit and small smile spreads across her face.

 

"Yeah," she tells me as she gets up to put her guitar away.

 

"No. Don't," I respond, reaching out and lightly grabbing her forearm. "Don't. I want to hear you play," I say softly as I watch her eyes sadden and her face fall.

 

"Amy. I can't," she whispers as tears run down her cheeks. I've always hated seeing her cry and this time was no exception. I reach out and take the guitar from her, placing it on her bed.

 

"Come here," I whisper as I gently pull her into my embrace. I know she's crying harder when I feel her tears on my neck. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay," I reassure her, stroking my hand up and down her back. She pulls away to look at my face.

 

"Amy, I can't play. I can't make my hand hold chords and all I do is fight with it," she tells me through tears and frustration. I take her injured hand in mine and tenderly brush my fingers across the scar on the back of her hand before softly kissing it.

 

"Karma, you're going to get through this. Your hand is going to get better and you are going to play better than you ever have before. I'll make a few calls on Monday and get you set up with occupational therapy."

 

"Amy, I can't afford-,"

 

"Karms, I told you to let me worry about that, okay?" 

 

She doesn't say anything else, but nods in agreement. I cup her face with both of my hands and kiss her lips softly. "I love you."

 

"I love you too Aims."

 

*****

The rest of yesterday was uneventful. After dinner Karma and I went to the largest sporting goods store in Austin in search of hand strengthening tools. We wound up getting her a set of Cando Digiflex hand exercisers so she could have multiple options to play with. Last night I was completely miserable. I was hurting in spite of eating NSAIDs like candy. I couldn't get comfortable and I didn't sleep for shit. I tossed and turned all night, trying desperately to not wake Karma, who was sound asleep next to me. I need something stronger than over-the-counter medication, but I don't know if I trust myself with prescription pain killers after what I went through when Karma left. I should see a doctor, but I can't deal with everyone, especially Lauren and Sara, breathing down my neck about taking meds. I'm starting the roughest rotation of my residency Monday night and I don't need any extra, unnecessary shit to deal with.

 

"Baby, are you okay?" Karma asks, snapping me out of my thoughts. I didn't even realize I had been playing with my food, pushing my eggs back and forth across my plate. "Aims," she says reaching out and placing her hand on my thigh.

 

"Yeah. I'm okay. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep well last night," I reassure her, taking her hand in mine.

 

"Are you sure? Is there anything I can do?" she asks concerned and worried.

 

"I'm okay Karma. You are so beautiful. You know that right?" I remind her, reaching out and brushing my thumb across her cheek. She blushes and tries to look at the floor, but I cup her face with both of my hands and kiss her. "Any plans for today?" I ask hoping to change the subject and get the attention off of me.

 

"Reagan and I were planning to do some recording today. Just kind of play around a bit. I think Sara was going to be there too since we need a piano player," she tells me as she finishes her coffee. "What about you?"

 

"No plans. I may go out for a bit later. Just to get out of the house. I start a night rotation tomorrow night and it's supposed to be the shittiest one of the entire residency," I tell her placing my fork on my plate and wiping my mouth with a napkin.

 

"You're starting a night rotation this week? How long?"

 

"Six weeks," I tell her and I can see the disappointment written all over her face. "Hey, I'll still get 2-3 days off each week. I'll just work overnight and some weekends," I say sliding closer to her to put my arm around her, but she squirms away and walks across the kitchen away from me.

 

"Why didn't you tell me you were starting a night rotation?" she asks trying to hide her anger and frustration.

 

"Well, I haven't really thought about it the past few days given everything that has happened. I didn't think it would such a big deal since it is a requirement for the program," I tell her trying to defend myself. She doesn't acknowledge me as she walks past me and out of the kitchen. What the fuck just happened? As I walk out of the kitchen I see her on the stairs heading toward her room so I follow. When I walk she turns and yells at me.

 

"What do you want, Amy?"

 

"I want you to tell me what the hell is going on. Why are you so upset that I will be working nights for the next six weeks?" I ask hoping to get a civil answer, but all I get is silence. "Karma?"

 

"I'll be with Reagan and Sara this afternoon," she tells me as she storms past me out of her room and down the stairs. You have got to be fucking kidding me. This is total horseshit. She's acting all irrational, I'm not sleeping, I'm hurting, and fuck it. I'm done. I'm not dealing with this bullshit. I walk into my bedroom and grab my cell phone off my night stand, scroll through my contacts, and hit the call button. C'mon damn it, pick up.

 

"Hey Doc. What can I do for you?"

 

"I need to see you," I say into the phone.

 

"Okay. Same deal and location?"

 

"Yeah," I reply.

 

"Alright, one hour." Then the line goes dead.

 

*****

An hour later I'm sitting in my car outside a convenient store across town from the hospital when I see a familiar motorcycle pull up. I get out of my car and walk across the parking towards the bike. I get a few feet away when Mason removes his helmet. "Hey Amy. I never thought I would hear from you again," he says with a smug grin.

 

"Yeah me too," I tell him as he hands me a couple of old paperback books.

 

"Glad to have you back Amy. Don't worry about this time okay," he says as he cranks his bike, puts his helmet on and drives away. I walk back toward my car carrying the two books he handed me. Once I get in and start the car I look down at the two books. The Catcher and the Rye and The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I wonder if he actually reads these or if he just picks out random books. Shaking my head, I open them both to find what I really came here for...prescription pills.


	18. Chapter 18

It's been a month since the ordeal with Tyler went down and I'm not sure where I stand with Amy anymore. She's been pushing through this night rotation and it's really taking its toll on her. Our schedules are so different that we don't see much of each other, but when we do get to spend time together she seems withdrawn and distant. Sometimes she's agitated and a bit hostile, and her temper gets the best of her. That's not Amy at all. I'm happy and thankful that she only has two more weeks left of this night rotation and maybe we can get back to normal.

 

It's early on a Friday morning and I'm lying in bed, awake, waiting on Amy to get home. She's off all weekend and I want to start it off right. It's been weeks since we've shared any physical intimacy and God, do I want and need her. I canceled all of my morning classes and appointments so I could spend a few hours with her when she gets home, hopefully in our bed. The sound of the front door slamming breaks my train of thought and within seconds I hear Amy barreling her way up the stairs. She doesn't notice I'm still in the bed, but I do notice her dropping more paperback books on the small desk by the bathroom door before she walks into the bathroom and turns the shower on.

 

I roll out of bed and make my way to the bathroom where I find Amy at the sink brushing her teeth. I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. "Hey you," I whisper. "God I've missed you," I tell her as I feel her wiggling away from me.

 

"C'mon Karma. I've had a shit night, I'm exhausted, and I just want to get a shower and go to sleep," she replies, putting her toothbrush down on the counter and rinsing her mouth out. When she turns around to face me I slide my arms back around her waist and lean up to kiss her. She turns away from me and my lips land on her cheek. "Karma please," she states sternly.

 

"Well, can I join you?" I ask as I try to pepper her neck with kisses. Before I can kiss her neck I feel her hands on my shoulders, stopping me.

 

"Karma."

 

"Amy, I want you," I say leaning in for a kiss, but before I can kiss her she's pushing me away.

 

"Jesus Karma. What's your problem?"

 

"Amy I just miss you."

 

"Okay. And I just want to shower and sleep. Why are you here anyways? Shouldn't you be at work?" Her tone is so harsh and I feel tears in my eyes threatening to fall. I look up at the ceiling to compose myself before speaking.

 

"I took this morning off so I could spend some time with you. I miss you. I miss us," I say still fighting back tears. I don't even know if Amy is getting any of this right now since she won't look at me. "Amy,"

 

"Karma I just want to be left alone. Okay? Can you please just leave me alone so I can get a shower and go to sleep?" I don't reply to her question. I just look down at the floor trying to hide my hurt and disappointment as I turn and walk out of the bathroom into my bedroom, closing the bathroom door behind me.

 

I take a few minutes to collect myself before walking over to my closet to pick out some clothes for today. What just happened between me and Amy is happening more frequently now. I never thought there would be a time where Amy didn't want me. Every time I make any effort she blows up on me, and any time where I basically throw myself at her she explodes in annoyance and frustration. It's been weeks since we've had sex, made love, or hell even fooled around and I'm at my wits end. I'm starting to think that Amy doesn't want me because she's found someone else. I finished getting dressed and try to figure out what I'm going to do with my free morning. My last therapy appointment is next Monday, but I'm hoping that I can go ahead and get that out of the way today.

 

I grab my bag and head downstairs after leaving a note for Amy on her nightstand. I figured I would have some coffee and a light breakfast before I call the clinic to see if Henry could see me this morning. I am clearly interrupting something when I walk into the kitchen and find Sara and Reagan having breakfast together at the kitchen island. Reagan was kinda snuggled into Sara's side and Sara had just kissed her temple.

 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I didn't -,"

 

"Karma, bring your ass back over here," Sara semi-yells at me as I'm about to walk out of the kitchen.

 

"You're not intruding Karma. There's plenty of food here. Sit down and eat," Reagan tells me before taking a bite of what looks like a breakfast burrito. 

 

"Sit Karma," Sara tells me as she stands up and walks toward the refrigerator. "How do you want your eggs?" She asks me as she pulls stuff from the fridge.

 

"Scrambled please," I tell her as I sit down across from Reagan.

 

"You don't have classes this morning?" Reagan asks as she hands me a plate and motions for me to help myself.

 

"No, I canceled my morning classes so I could spend time with Amy."

 

"Then what the hell are you doing down here with us then instead of upstairs in bed with Amy?" Sara asks as she's working on my eggs.

 

"Well, she wanted me to leave her alone so she could shower and sleep." Reagan and Sara are both quiet for a minute before I continue. "The last few weeks have been awful. She's been distant and sometimes agitated. She doesn't seem to want anything to do with me."

 

"Karma, I'm sure it's just work. This is a shit rotation and it sucks for everyone that winds up going through it," Sara reminds me.

 

"I know but I've tried so hard to take care of her. I've planned dates that failed, tried to seduce her several times only to be rejected, and let's not forget the shit show that Valentine's day turned out to be. I can't even get her to talk to me."

 

"Is she working this weekend?" Sara asks as she walks over to put my scrambled eggs on my plate.

 

"No, she's off until Monday," I answer as I sip my coffee.

 

"Alright. I'll try talking to her this weekend," Sara says as she rinses the frying pan and puts it in the dishwasher.

 

"So what are you guys doing tonight?" Reagan asks.

 

"I don't know. Nothing's planned because you know that would require us to actually talk to each other," I say between bites of my breakfast. I look up from my food to see Sara sit back down, giving heart eyes to Reagan.

 

"Well, we were planning on going to hear a local band play at Maggie Mae's tonight if you want to come. With or without Amy," Reagan tells me as she stands up. "I've got to go. I'll see you later," she tells Sara before leaning over and kissing her. "Seriously Karma. You should come with us tonight."

 

"Okay, I'll be there," I tell them both before Reagan leaves me and Sara alone in the kitchen. There is a few moments of awkward silence before Sara speaks.

 

"You okay Karma?"

 

"Yeah. I just...I just miss her. I miss us," I tell her before taking the last bite of food on my plate. I make eye contact with Sara and for a moment I something that I can't quite place. Sara's always had this tough exterior, but I know she's got a soft side.

 

"It's all going to work out Karma. You guys are meant to be together." I smile and nod, not wanting to tell Sara that I didn't believe that anymore, that it would all work itself out. "I'm off to the gym. See you tonight," Sara says through a smile as she walks out of the kitchen. Sitting there alone made it easy to get lost in my thoughts. How did we get here Amy? But most important, how do we fix this?

 

*************************

I'm standing in the shower, hands propped on the wall in front of me, with the warm water running over my head and face. Showers always seem to be a good place to get lost in your thoughts, where new ones are born, or where you mentally kick your own ass for being stupid. What the fuck is wrong with you? Karma basically threw herself at you and you said, "Nope, not interested." The last few weeks my mood and attitude have been all over the place. All I can seem to do is bitch and yell at everyone. It's like I can't control any of it. Well, if I'm honest with myself, I can actually control it. I can stop calling Mason every couple of days for a fix and I can stop popping damn pills to make myself feel better. I can stop shutting Karma out and actually try to talk to my girlfriend instead of being a horse's ass and treating her like shit. I think she's still my girlfriend. With the way I have been acting and how I've treated her I'm kinda surprised she still wants anything to do with me.

 

I push myself off the wall and turn to grab my shampoo when my thoughts drift back to Valentine's Day a couple of weeks ago. I had just finished a shift at the hospital and was later than expected arriving home. I stopped by to meet Mason before coming home. Karma had cooked some food, dinner/breakfast, not really sure what to call it when you work night shift, so it was cold when I got home. I had forgotten that she had the whole day scheduled for us, starting with food. She even had shower time and sleep time factored in for me. That morning was mediocre at best and it only got worse from there.

 

I woke up later in the day before our big night out and got ready. I needed my routine fix, and in a rush, mistakenly took Klonopin instead of Adderall. The combination of Klonopin and the alcohol served at dinner was a disaster. I don't remember much. I remember fighting with Karma at dinner and I remember the ass chewing I took from Sara the next morning for literally passing out at dinner. Oh yeah, I forgot to get any kind of gift for Karma. I thought Sara put two and two together that night, figuring out I was back taking pills again. I'm certain she didn't though because if she did, she would have beaten my ass.

 

I fucked up royally that night and have made no effort to try and make it up to Karma. Jesus Amy, what the fuck is wrong with you? You need to get your shit together before you lose the only thing that ever mattered to you. If she's even yours. With Karma it's hard to tell sometimes. I finish my shower and walk into the bedroom hoping to sleep the rest of the day away when I see a note on my nightstand.

 

Amy,  
I'm sorry you had a rough night at work. Maybe tonight we can have dinner and watch a   
movie. We can go out or stay in. Sleep good baby. I love you.  
Karma xxx

 

After reading this note I wonder what I have done to deserve this, so much patience and love. I quickly throw on some sweats and a t-shirt and rush downstairs hoping that Karma is still here. I slow down as I come through the living room and approach the kitchen. I hear Karma's voice and it stops me in my tracks. Is she with someone right now?

 

"I am getting better. I'm almost back to normal thanks to you. So, can I come in this morning?" Who the hell is she talking to. She's back to normal thanks to who? 

 

"That sounds great. I'll see you in an hour Henry." Henry? Who the fuck is Henry? What the hell is going on? Is she cheating on me? Has she moved on from me again? I finally start moving my feet and I walk into the kitchen to find Karma sitting at the island, playing on her phone. I don't even know how to process any of this, so I just silently walk to the refrigerator and grab a bottle of water.

 

"Hey, I thought you'd be asleep by now," Karma tells me as she slowly stands, fidgeting a little bit.

 

"No, I just..I just can't stop thinking. I can't turn my mind off."

 

"Amy is everything okay?" Karma asks, slowly walking to where I'm leaning against the refrigerator.

 

"Yeah. Everything's," I pause trying to figure out what to say next. "No. Everything's not okay." She stops just in front of me and I can't look at her. I can't make eye contact because of how I acted earlier upstairs. I feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. 

 

"Aims, come here," she says, reaching out for me and I slowly step forward, allowing her to hug me. I tensed at her touch, but soon relaxed when I heard her whisper, "I love you Amy." I feel her hand slowly and gently rub up and down my back. 

 

"Who's Henry?" I ask her although I am scared to hear her answer. I feel her start to pull away from and I really don't want her to go. She looks at me and wipes the tears from my cheek before answering.

 

"Henry, is my occupational therapist. I'm meeting him in an hour for my last appointment." I breathe a heavy sigh of relief.

 

"I didn't know you where doing occupational therapy. I haven't seen any bills for it."

 

"No you haven't because I have been paying for it."

 

"Karma, I-,"

 

"I know you said you would take care of everything, but I'm in a position where I can do this too. Besides, I know how much you've already taken care of and - "

 

"But Karms, I just want to take care of you."

 

"I know, and you have been completely amazing. But we are supposed to take care of each other and me helping with this stuff takes some stress off of you, and right now with this rotation you don't need any more stress," she says through a loving smile. I pull her back in and hold her tight, whispering in her ear.

 

"I'm sorry about this morning Karms. I was a total asshole to you and you didn't deserve that," I tell her as I pull away from her. "I want to talk to you about this," I tell her as I hand her the note she left on my nightstand, and I see a smile creep across her face. "Can I take you out to dinner tonight? I'll even let you pick the restaurant," I tease her.

 

"I think I can make myself available for dinner tonight," she says teasingly. "I should be done at school between 4:30 and 5:00 this afternoon."

 

"Okay, so you go to your therapy appointment, I'll go to bed, and we will talk later today?"

 

"Or we can both go to bed now," she smirks at me.

 

"Uh-uh. I'm going to make you wait until tonight," I tell her as I lean down and kiss her cheek. "I need to rest up because I'm going to need all the energy I can get," and I lean over and kiss her other cheek. I look back up at her and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "C'mon, I'll walk you to your car," I say taking her hand and walking her out of the kitchen and to her car. I open her car door for her and stop her as she goes to get in. We make eye contact and I say, "I love you Karms," then lean in and kiss her lips gently. 

 

"I love you too Aims. I'll talk to you later okay?" I just nod and wait for her to get in the car and close the door behind her. I watch her drive away before I walk back into the house and head straight to bed.

 

Several hours later I roll out of bed when my alarm goes off. I get dressed for dinner and head out the door. I stop and get flowers for Karma and I'm planning on surprising her at school. I have no idea what I'm going to say when I just show up, but I'm hoping that I get points for trying to be romantic. I pull into a parking lot next to the music building and park my car, but before I get out I see Karma standing on the sidewalk with a couple of people, and she's lost in conversation. I swear this girl has no idea how beautiful she is. I don't want to barge in on her conversation so I sit in the car, but at the moment one the guys she is talking to puts his arm around her, pulls her in for a hug, then kisses her cheek. What the fuck? They look way to comfortable together. It seems the group conversation has ended, and I watch Karma walk away, arm-in-arm with the guy that just kissed her.

 

My blood is boiling at this point. She disappears into the music and all I can see is red. Fuck it, I'm out. I pull out of the parking lot and try calling Mason, but he's not answering. Shit. Since I can't get a hold of Mason I decide I need a drink, so I head over to Rain, hoping that Matthew is there and I can score some free drinks. I pull in at Rain a little after five and immediately spot Shane's car. I walk in and head straight to the bar, finding Shane sitting there at the end of it with a drink in front of him.

 

"Hey Shane, I'm glad you're here. It's been awhile since I could enjoy a few drinks with you." He stands up and wraps me in a hug.

 

"I'm glad you're here too. I need a drinking buddy for tonight. Let me get us some more drinks," he says motioning for the bartender. An hour and three, no four, drinks later my phone rings. I look down and see that it's Karma so I send it to voice mail. I also see a text from Mason. I reply back letting him know where I am. And another hour and a few more drinks later, Mason walks in. And it was perfect timing because Shane had just gotten up to go to the bathroom.

 

"Doc, how's it going?" Mason asks as he sits down next to me, sliding me my fix for the evening. "Pay me next time, huh?" I nod and he gets up and walks across the room that is starting to fill up for the evening. I swallow down a couple of pain pills right before Shane sits back down. When I look at my phone I see a dozen calls and texts from Karma that I choose to ignore.

 

"Trouble in paradise?" he asks.

 

"Nothing to talk about Shane," I tell him and he eyes me wearily. "I'll be right back. I need to go to bathroom," I tell him before downing the rest of my drink and walking away. I don't know how long I'm gone, but I find myself stumbling back to my spot next to Shane at the bar.

 

"Amy you don't look to good. Maybe we should get you home."

 

"Nope! I'm here...I'm here to get drunk...and have a good time with you," I mutter out, wondering if Shane caught any of that since I'm aware that my speech is slurring and the room is spinning around me. "Besides," I hiccup. "It's still early."

 

"Alright, well I need to make a phone call. Don't move Amy." He walks away, I lay my head down on the bar and close my eyes.

*************************

 

I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Karma is freaking the fuck out because Amy's not answering her calls or replying to her texts, and Shane just called Sara to tell her that Amy was sitting at the bar at Rain, and she was all kinds of fucked up. So at this point it looks like Sara and I will be dragging Amy's drunk ass back home, and missing the local band at Maggie Mae's. When we get to Rain we spot Karma walking in too. We finally get to the bar and spot Shane trying to wake Amy up.

 

"What the fuck happened?" Sara asks as she has clearly gone into full doctor mode. 

 

"We were just drinking and I walked away to call you guys and when I came back I couldn't wake her up," Shane tells Sara.

 

"Did she take anything?" Sara asks Shane.

 

"No, I don't think so." Sara pulls Amy up from the bar and Amy wakes up a bit.

 

"Amy why would you stand me up to come here and get shit faced?" Karma asks. I can't really make out Amy's response but I did hear flowers, school, guy, kiss, and music building. I look over at Karma and see that she's speechless.

 

"What is she talking about Karma?" I sternly ask.

 

"Reagan, I'm not sure. She may have seen me at school when Seth hugged and kissed me."

 

"Seth? Seth the bass player with a serious boyfriend Seth?" I ask.

 

"Yeah," Karma mumbles as we watch Sara half drag, half carry Amy to the door. Sara gets her buckled into the passenger seat of Amy's car and then walks around and climbs behind the wheel. Before she closes the car door she tells us she would meet us at home.

 

An hour later we are back at the house, and Amy and Karma are both upstairs. Sara just climbed into bed with me and I snuggle up to her. "What are you thinking?" I ask her.

 

"I'm thinking that I'm probably gonna kill Amy this weekend."

 

"Why?" I ask.

 

"I think she's using again," Sara tells me as I nuzzle into her neck.

 

"Hey," I say, pulling her chin so she will look at me. "We'll figure it out in the morning okay."

 

"You know you're completely amazing right?" she asks me and I feel my cheeks turning red as I seem to get lost in Sara's eyes. She leans over and kisses me softly. "I love you Rae." I smile so hard at that admission because that is the first time Sara has told me she loves me. I mean I know she does just by how she acts towards me, and how she treats me, but this is the first time she's ever said it.

 

"I love you too Sara," I say before sitting up and kissing her again. "C'mon, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow sounds like it is going to be fun." As we snuggle into bed together I feel her lips on my forehead for one last goodnight kiss.


	19. Chapter 19

I'm sound asleep when I hear a crash from what sounds like the bathroom. I sit straight up in our bed and look next to me to see that Amy's not there. I'm really surprised at the this point because with her being so out of it I was certain she would sleep through the night. I look at my phone and see that it's two-thirty in the morning.

 

"Amy," I call out to her as I get out of bed and walk towards the bathroom. I hear the toilet flush and then water running. I peek into the bathroom to see Amy washing her hands at the sink. "Aims, you okay?"

 

"Oh yeah. Just needed to pee," she replies as she dries her hands. She smirks at me as she walks towards me like she's on a mission. "God, you're so fucking hot!" she breathes out right before her lips attack mine, kissing me aggressively.

 

"Amy, stop," I say pulling away from her.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"As much as I want you, you smell like you've been soaking overnight in tequila." She laughs at me before replying.

 

"Well, I can fix that," and she turns around and turns the shower on. She steps towards me, pinning me against the bathroom counter, leaning in for another kiss.

 

"Amy, c'mon. I don't want to do this," I tell her before she kisses me.

 

"Don't want to do what?" she playfully asks, wiggling her eyebrows. "You can always join me Karms." This aggressive and super confident Amy is kinda hot, but I know something's wrong. She doesn't seem drunk and this is way out of character for her. She's peppering kisses down my neck and she's tugging at my sweats.

 

"Amy, stop. Please," I beg her, raising my voice hoping that it would finally register with her that I did not want this.

 

"I know you want this Karma. Stop fighting it," she breathes out in my ear and I feel her grab my ass.

 

"Amy stop," I yell at her, trying to push her away from me.

 

"What's you're fucking problem Karma?" 

 

"This isn't you Amy. Just get a shower and come back to bed so we can both go back to sleep."

 

"Well I think you should get out of these clothes and into that shower with me," she says, coming at me again, tugging at my clothes.

 

"Amy, No! I am going back to bed." I push her hands back, turn to walk away and she forcefully grabs my arm. "Amy, please stop. You're hurting me."

 

"What the fuck is your problem Amy?" I turn and see a very pissed off Lauren standing in the doorway between the bathroom and my bedroom. Amy looks like she's been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, but she composes herself long enough to turn the shower off before she unloads on Lauren.

 

"This is none of your damn business Lauren," Amy barks at her.

 

"When your dumb ass wakes me up at two thirty in the fucking morning it is my business. Let Karma go right now." I see Amy's eyes narrow at Lauren, but before she could say anything I hear Sara.

 

"You should listen to Lauren Amy. Now let her go." With that I feel Amy's grip loosen and I walk away over to Reagan who is standing behind Sara. We must have been really loud if they heard us in the basement.

 

"C'mon Karma, you're sleeping with me tonight," Reagan tells me as she holds her arm out to me. Amy bursts into a fit of laughter.

 

"That's fucking perfect. She's sleeping with everyone else, she may as well be fucking you too Reagan." My heart broke when she said that. This is not Amy. This person isn't close to being Amy. I watch as Sara steps towards Amy.

 

"You better shut the fuck up Amy."

 

"Or what Sara?" Amy ridicules her. "What are you going to do?" 

 

"You want a little action tonight Amy? Is that what you're looking for? Because if you don't then shut your fucking mouth or I'm gonna kick your ass all over this house." Sara is looking down at Amy now, having stepped up in her personal bubble. "Now what's it gonna be Amy?"Amy hesitates for a second before backing away, keeping her mouth shut, her gaze burning holes in Sara.

 

"I am so fucking ashamed of you right now Amy," Lauren says before walking out and back down the hallway. Sara walks over to me and Reagan, keeping one eye on Amy.

 

"You guys go downstairs and get some sleep. I'll stay up here and babysit this asshole," Sara says motioning to Amy who is now sitting on the bathroom counter, fists clenched at her sides. She leans in gives Reagan a quick kiss. "I love you Rea."

 

"I love you too," Reagan says and then she's pulling me by the hand toward the stairs. We get to the basement and Reagan tells me that I would not be sleeping on the couch but in bed with her. I thought it was a little weird, but I also know it would give me a chance to ask her what the hell just happened. She tosses a couple of pillows across the bed at me and of course they both hit me in the face, knocking me off balance.

 

"You okay Karma?"

 

"No I'm not okay. What the hell just happened upstairs because that was not my Amy up there." I see several emotions flash across Reagan's face before she speaks and I am on the verge of breaking down.

 

"I know that wasn't Amy up there. Karma. Amy may be using again and if she is, she probably won't remember any of what just happened." She pulls the comforter back and motions for me to get in bed, but I'm paralyzed with what I just heard.

 

"What do you mean she's using again?"

 

"Get in bed and I'll explain." I slide into bed, propping myself up with several pillows."

 

"Alright Reagan, talk." Reagan hesitates for a few moments and I see in her eyes that her hesitation has everything to do with what I'm about to hear.

 

"Karma when you left like you did it really did do a number on Amy. And then seeing you at Tootsies in Nashville, happy and with that guy, it broke her. She was so broken and so lost and so isolated from all of us. She started taking prescription pills and her drinking got worse on top of it. This isn't the first run in with the Amy you just saw. She's never been that physically aggressive before, but the mouth and the attitude isn't anything new. Sara thinks she mixed pills and booze tonight."

 

"This is all my fault. She thinks I'm cheating on her. First with Henry." Reagan raises an eyebrow so I clarify. "Henry is my occupational therapist helping with my hand. Then she must have seen me and Seth together, but you and I both know that Seth is not into girls at all." I break down into tears and I feel Reagan pulling me into a hug.

 

"It's gonna be okay Karma. Sara and Lauren both got her through this last time -,"

 

"But what if they can't Reagan? What if it's to late? What if she's so far gone and the pills kill her this time?"

 

"I'd be more worried about Sara killing her to be honest." I look at Reagan with a concerned look. "Relax Karma, Sara and Lauren will handle this. Now try and get some sleep." We both roll over away from one another and Reagan turns the bedside lamp off. 

 

All I can think about is Amy and I can't even begin to wrap my mind around any of this. Jesus, Amy. What am I going to do with you? 

************************

"Get your ass up!"

 

I'm startled awake by someone yelling at me in combination with having water thrown in my face. I quickly sit up, wiping my eyes, and before I can get my bearings I'm hit in the face with more water. Once I finally open my eyes I see not one, but two women holding empty glasses and looking madder than hell. I look over next to me to see that Karma isn't here.

 

"What's going on? Where's Karma?" I demand as I try to stand, but Sara steps forward and knocks me back onto the bed, keeping me from getting to my feet.

 

"Sit your ass back down Amy," Sara tells me.

 

"Guys what's going on? Where's Karma? Is Karma okay?" I'm starting to panic because neither one of them will tell me the one thing I want to hear.

 

"Amy what's the last you remember from yesterday?" Lauren asks like she's in the middle of an interview with a crime victim.

 

"No. Fuck that. Where's your stash Amy?" Sara demands. Fuck. They know. I don't know what happened last night. The last thing I remember was buying flowers to surprise Karma at work.

 

"I don't know what -"

 

"Cut the shit Amy. Neither one of is stupid," Lauren says sternly. "We know you're using again and you will tell us where your stash is."

 

"I'm not telling you shit! Now, where's Karma?" I yell as I stand to my feet and take a step towards Lauren. I am quickly intercepted by Sara and before I know it Sara has me pinned against my bedroom wall.

 

"Okay then, we'll negotiate an exchange. You want Karma. I want your drugs," Lauren says walking towards me.

 

"I don't know what y'all are talking about. Why won't you tell me where Karma's at?"

 

"Because of what happened last night Amy. Because of what you did to Karma, what you were going to do to her," Sara replies, keeping a firm grip on me. My heart sinks when I hear that and I have no fight left in me to keep this up. I feel my lips quivering when I speak.

 

"What do you mean? What did I do to Karma?" I ask with a shaky voice. My chest is starting to feel tight and it's getting harder to breathe. I feel tears pooling in my eyes.

 

"Amy, where are the pills?" Lauren asks again, but I only half hear her. My mind is racing through all my memories of yesterday, but I can't remember much after buying Karma flowers. For a brief moment I don't realize that Sara still has me pinned against the wall. That is until I feel her pull me away and slam me back into it, getting my attention.

 

"Where are they Amy?" she screams at me and her eyes tell me that she has lost all of her patience with me at this point.

 

"Sara." I hear a soft voice from across the room. My eyes follow the angelic sound of that voice like they always have and I see Karma and Reagan standing at the bedroom door. Sara tightens her grip on me as Karma approaches us. "Sara, I need to talk to Amy please. Alone." Sara doesn't look away from me, but tightens her grip. Karma reaches out and softly puts her hand on Sara's shoulder, "It's okay Sara." Sara looks back at Karma and Karma smiles softly and nods her head. "It's okay." I feel her grip loosen and when she lets go of me she reaches out for Karma's left arm. Karma is wearing a sleeveless t-shirt so it's easy for me to see fresh bruises in the shape of a hand print on her upper arm. "I just want to talk to Amy alone."

 

"Karma, I don't know if that's a good idea," Lauren says. Karma never looks away from me.

 

"Everything's fine guys. Amy's going to give me ALL of her pills," she says nodding in reassurance. "And we're just going to talk. We have a lot that we need to talk about." I can't take my eyes off of Karma. My eyes keep drifting back to the bruises on her upper arm. I feel Karma's hand under my chin, pulling my eyes up to meet hers. "Aims, where are they?" Karma asks. 

 

"No, you have to tell me everything that happened yesterday first. Everything I did - "

 

"Amy."

 

"No. That's the only way Karma. I need to know what I did." Karma steps forward, taking both of my hands in hers.

 

"Amy, you're going to give me the pills. ALL of them. And Lauren, Sara, and Reagan are gonna go downstairs so we can talk," I look down at our joined hands. "Baby please," Karma pleads with me. I look back into her green eyes and know in that moment what I have to do.

 

"Okay," I tell her, nodding my head. "Okay." I squeeze her hands gently before pulling away and walking towards my small corner desk. When I get to my desk I stop and realize how fucked up this whole situation is. If I hand over my pills I admit to everyone that I've been using again. I admit to Karma in a very real way that I have a problem and that totally breaks my heart. If I hand them over, then I lose the one thing that makes everything better. I lean forward, placing both hands flat on the desk, my head hanging low as I fight back tears. I feel my legs getting weaker by the second so I pull out the desk chair and sit down. I sit there for a moment trying to control my breathing, when Karma kneels down next to me, cups my face with her hand, and pulls my gaze to her.

 

"It's okay. Everything's okay. You're going to hand Sara all the your pills and tell her what you've been taking. Sara's not going to say anything. And when it's all over and done, I'm gonna be right here Aims. I am not going anywhere," Karma says as she strokes my cheek softly, brushing away runaway tears. I turn my gaze back to a stack of books on the desk and pull out four different paperbacks and place them in front of me. I notice that Sara is now kneeling next to me on my left. I slowly remove each packet of pills from the cutout in each book, identifying each medication as I push them over to Sara. 

 

"Clonazepam, Adderall, Ambien, and Vicodin," I tell Sara. When I'm done I hear Karma again.

 

"Aims, is that all of them?" I make eye contact with her, tears still racing down my cheeks and nod my head.

 

"Yes," I say softly. Karma looks at Sara and Sara gets up with all the medication and quietly leaves with Reagan and Lauren. As soon as the bedroom door closes Karma pulls me into a tight hug.

 

"I love you so much and I am so proud of you Aims," Karma tells me as she strokes my back. I feel myself begin to relax in her arms and after a few moments I pull back and look at her.

 

"Karms, what happened last night? What did I do to you?"

 

"Amy, that's not important ri-,"

 

"No Karma. You told me we would talk about it. I need to know, please," I beg her. I watch her debating with herself before nodding in agreement. She stands up and offers me her hands.

 

"Come lie with me," she says as she pulls me to my feet. We both walk over to the bed we have been sharing for weeks now, and lie down facing each other, hands interlaced between us. Karma is rubbing my hand with her thumb.

 

"What's the last thing you remember from yesterday Amy?" I think back to yesterday and our morning exchange and I cringe. "Amy, please talk to me. Please don't shut me out," Karma pleads. I take a deep breath before I speak.

 

"I remember pushing you away yesterday morning when I got home, being a total asshole to you. Then I remember us in the kitchen, kinda making up and agreeing to go out later." I keep racking my mind, trying to piece together yesterday's events. "You went to see Henry and I went to bed." I look up at Karma, losing myself in her eyes.

 

"Aims, is that all you remember?"

 

"No. I woke up, got ready and left. I wanted to surprise you at school...bring you flowers. I stopped and bought flowers then drove to your school and parked." Things seem to be coming back to me, so I continue. "As soon as I parked, I saw you talking to a couple of guys. Then one of them hugged and kissed you and you walked off arm in arm with him." My eyes drop and I can't look at Karma. I feel hot tears running across my face.

 

"Aims, look at me." I refuse to look at her. I feel a crushing pain in my chest. "Baby, please look at me." I finally bring myself to look at her. She lets go of my hand and caresses my face. "That guy you saw me with yesterday was Seth. And Seth plays bass and has a very serious boyfriend. Even if he didn't, I have no interest in him or anyone else for that matter. Unless of course were talking about a beautiful girl about 5'5", with blonde hair, green eyes, and a significant, unhealthy obsession with donuts." I feel a smile spread across my face hearing Karma say that. "What made you go drink with Shane last night?"

 

"Seeing you with that guy, it really hurt Karms. I always feel like I'm not enough for you and when I hurt like that, I just want the hurt to stop. So I try to make it stop. I try to make it stop with pills, or alcohol, or both."

 

"Amy, you are more than enough for me. You are all I want baby. Come here." She reaches out to me and pulls me into her and I bury my face in the crook of her neck and wrap my arm around her. I start to cry uncontrollably and I feel a panic attack coming on so I sit up and lean against the headboard, running my fingers through my hair, rocking back and forth.

 

"What did I do to you last night Karma?"

 

"Amy, I don't think -,"

 

"Tell me!"

 

"You were - you were a little aggressive and I wasn't feeling it. I said no and you grabbed my arm. Then Lauren was there and then Sara and Reagan."

 

"I tried to force myself on you?" I am starting to feel unwell. I can't believe I was so out of control that I would do that to her.

 

"Aims, I don't think it was like that. You weren't yourself -,"

 

"I tried to rape you? Dear God, what the fuck is wrong with me?" I start panicking and I can't breathe. I think I hear Karma talking to me, but I am trying to get off the bed and away from her before I do something stupid and hurt her. I tumble to the floor. I pull myself up and sit back against my bed, rocking back and forth again. I feel tears running down both of my cheeks, my vision is blurry, and I think I hear a faint voice. I don't know what's happening to me and then I smell lavender and taste cherries on my lips. After a few seconds I realize Karma is sitting on my lap with her arms around my neck, her lips brushing softly against mine. Several more seconds pass and I feel her breath on my face, her forehead pressed against mine. My breathing is almost back to normal when I hear her voice.

 

"Hey you," she says softly.

 

"Hey," I whisper back. I gently wrap my arms around her waist and pull back just enough to look at Karma's face. "Karms, I am so sorry. I am -,"

 

"Shhh. It's okay," she says pulling me back into her, never breaking eye contact with me. "Aims, we need to get you better. You need to get better and I need to get better too. We have both been through so much and we need to deal with all of this. If we don't then this will always cause problems and we won't be able to move forward. Together. As best friends. As a couple."

 

"I know. I know and I'll do anything. Anything to keep you in my life and -," she cuts me off, still looking into my eyes.

 

"I am not going anywhere. Do you hear me? You are stuck with me butt face, okay?" I smile at the little term of endearment and nod in understanding.

 

"I need help Karma."

 

"I know baby. And we're gonna make sure you get it okay? We are both gonna get help and we are going to be okay." She leans in and softly kisses my lips. "I love you Amy."

 

"I love you too Karma."


	20. Chapter 20

"Amy."

 

"Yeah. I'm in here," I say loudly from the bathroom so Karma can hear me. I pick up the towel from the counter top and dry my hands. When I'm done I drop the towel back to the counter and turn to go back to my room when I'm stopped in my tracks. Karma's standing there in the bathroom door and God is she beautiful. Her auburn hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she's wearing a fitted v-neck t-shirt and running tights, her skin glistening from a light layer of sweat. I can't put words together to actually speak to her because once again this girl has left me speechless.

 

"Aims you okay?" she asks as she approaches me. She reaches out for me and I pull away.

 

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm sorry Karma," I tell her as I scratch the back of my neck with my right hand. "I'm gonna go downstairs so you can shower." I give her small smile before I drop my head and try to walk past her when she steps in front of me.

 

"You don't have to leave," she says softly and as I look up I notice she's biting her lower lip. Damn it. She knows that drives me crazy. I feel my heart start to beat out of my chest.

 

"I really should leave Karms," I mumble as I try to make eye contact with her.

 

"Amy-," she says as I interrupt her.

 

"Maybe we can get takeout or something and have a Netflix night tonight."

 

"I'd love that," Karma says as she leans up and kisses me softly. I have trouble reciprocating. "It's okay baby. I love you," she says searching my eyes.

 

"I love you too." I give her another smile and walk past her out of the bathroom. Ever since Karma told me about that night I have had a hard time trusting myself with her. Six weeks. Six weeks of counseling and therapy and I still can't forgive myself for what I did to her. I've done six weeks of individual counseling with a handful of sessions done with Karma, and I still can't trust myself to have any kind of physical intimacy with her. I'm scared I'm going to hurt her and she deserves so much better than that.

 

I find myself in the kitchen completely lost in my thoughts. I snap out of it long enough to grab a bottle of water from the fridge and walk out to the tin roof covered back porch. I take a seat on a swinging snuggler bed that has more pillows than my bed upstairs. Before I get comfortable I see Sara jog across the backyard to me.

 

"Hey loser," she says to me and I give her the finger. "Reagan wants to wash her big ass SUV, want to help?"

 

"You guys know that's pointless right? I mean, you know it's gonna rain in the next hour or so right?" 

 

"Yeah maybe, but the girl wants to wash her SUV so by golly she's gonna wash that big ass SUV," she says with a thick southern accent and I can't help but laugh. There's a few seconds of silence before Sara speaks again. "Karma's doing really well ya know...and she really misses you. You need to get out of your head with this Amy. She loves you. You love her and-,"

 

"I'm scared I'm going to do something stupid again and hurt her."

 

"Amy, that wasn't you that night. When are you going to accept that? You've gotten help, you're doing counseling. You've got to forgive yourself Amy because Karma has and that's the last thing you need to do so you move forward," she says as she watches Reagan walk over to us. When Reagan gets next to Sara she wraps an arm around her waist while Sara drapes her arm over Reagan's shoulders, their affection seeming as natural as breathing.

 

"So Amy, you going to get off your ass and help?" Reagan asks with a raised eyebrow as Sara kisses the top of her head.

 

"No. I think I'm gonna sit right here and wait for the rain to come, maybe take a nap," I reply as I open my bottle of water and take a sip.

 

"Suit yourself," she tells me right before she smacks Sara across the ass and takes off running and Sara chases after her. I just smile and shake my head as I pull out my phone trying to decide what to order for dinner. I'm scrolling through my phone, playing on the internet when I hear giggling. I look up to see Reagan and Sara throwing sponges at each other. The SUV is covered in soapy bubbles and Sara pins her up against the driver's door stealing a kiss. It's ridiculous how in love those two are. I bury my attention back into my phone for a few minutes before I feel the swing begin to sway. I look up to find Karma crawling towards me and my heart begins racing, trying to thump its way out of my chest. I sit up immediately and lean against the wall of pillows behind me. She hesitates and narrows her eyes at me and smiles.

 

"Nice try Aims, but this will work too," she says as she pushes my knees apart and slides between them, turning her back to me as she sits down and leans back against me.

 

"Uh, Karma. Wh-What are you doing?" I nervously ask her, fidgeting around behind her.

 

"I'm trying to snuggle with my anxious girlfriend," she replies in a tone that suggests I'm crazy for asking. "Give me your phone," and I look at her like she's lost her mind before handing it to her. She grabs my wrist and pulls my arm across her stomach, holding her. "That's better. Now let's figure out what we're ordering for dinner." I nervously rest my chin on her shoulder, trying to look at my phone too.

 

"If you don't start breathing soon I'm gonna call Sara over here so she can do mouth-to-mouth on you." As soon as she says that I start laughing and find myself starting to relax a little. I'm completely lost in this moment with Karma. We both look up into the yard when we hear Sara cursing, rain pouring down on both of them. Karma and I both start laughing, and I relax a little hearing the sound of rain on a tin roof.

 

"I'm glad we're under here staying dry," I tell her, and I feel myself squeeze Karma just a little tighter.

 

"I don't know Aims, if we were doing that I'd be totally fine with being out in the pouring rain." I look up to see Reagan and Sara tightly wrapped up in each other, kissing in the pouring rain. I want nothing more than to have moments like that with Karma. Before I could crawl back in my head space I feel Karma softly kiss my cheek.

 

"Why don't you go ahead and order pizza, and I'll go inside and throw some cookies in the oven," she says. All I could do was nod my head in response. I watch her slide off the swing and she disappears behind me.

 

Half an hour later we're on the couch watching "Begin Again" on Netflix. Karma is nestled into my side and I am trying so hard to relax and enjoy being with her. About halfway through the movie I finally relax enough to enjoy myself. I leaned into Karma and kissed the top of her head, but before we could have a moment, Sara and Reagan dropped down on the opposite end of the couch.

 

"What are y'all watching?" Sara asks as Reagan snuggles into her.

 

"Begin Again," Karma replies without looking away from the television.

 

"You done with this?" Reagan asks as she reaches for some pizza.

 

"Yeah, help yourself," Karma tells her, still focused on the television. Reagan dives into the pizza while Sara looks on in slight disgust. I chuckle before leaning in to kiss Karma's temple, then whispering I love you in her ear. She turns and looks at me with a loving smile and places a soft kiss on my lips. When the movie finishes and the final credits roll Sara sits up and begins with the chatter.

 

"So are you guys ready for Vegas next weekend?" She asks, grinning from ear to ear.

 

"Yeah, I've never been and I'm excited to be getting away for a couple of days with this one," Karma tells her before snuggling closer to me. I can't believe I forgot about the Booker wedding. It's supposed to be a lavish, crazy ass affair and an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas to spend a weekend with Karma, courtesy of one Liam Booker. Sara and I will be the last ones to fly in on Friday afternoon while Karma and Reagan will get there Friday morning since Ashley wants them to help with the music set-up. I have completely zoned out and at this point Karma realizes I'm not going to say anything.

 

"I'm hoping for an uneventful set-up so I can try and spoil this one with my attention," Karma says nudging me in the ribs.

 

"Spoil or annoy?" Reagan asks Karma with a smirk and raised eyebrow. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Before anyone could keep this banter going, Sara saves the day.

 

"Y'all get up and help me clean this up," she says motioning to the remains of our pizza, cookies, and drinks. "I'm about ready to call it a night." We all get up and help with the mess in the living room and kitchen and after a few minutes we're done with the clean up and saying good night. Reagan and Sara disappear downstairs and I walk upstairs before Karma. I stop at the top of the stairs and look around. Lauren and Shane are rarely here anymore and it makes me feel like this place is actually mine and Karma's. At that thought I smile and I feel arms snake around my waist from behind. My smile drops and I tense up at her touch.

 

"What are you thinking?" Karma asks from behind me, hugging me tighter. I manage to turn around in her arms and her grip on me loosens.

 

"Well Lauren's getting married in June and she'll move out, and Shane is never here. I guess I just. Well, it's-,"

 

"It's like we have our own place," Karma says squeezing me just a little tighter, and I watch a smile spread across her face. Before I realize it I'm speaking without even thinking.

 

"Would you want that? I mean, would you want that with me?" I ask as I slowly look up and find her eyes, searching for an answer. I feel her arms disappear from around me, but then I feel her hands on my shoulders and she pulls me into a hug. I tense up again at her touch, but after a brief hesitation I slowly wrap my arms around her waist, gently returning her affections. After a few moments she pulls back, looking into my eyes.

 

"Amy. My entire future is you. I want us to spend the rest of our lives together. I want to come home to you everyday. I want to come home to you and our house, our dog, our...kids."

 

"Kids?" I asked, completely taken aback by what she just said.

 

"Yeah. If this. Would you want all of that with me?" I feel tears welling up in my eyes after hearing her say this.

 

"Yes." I say nodding my head. "It's always been you Karma. My whole life has always been you." I notice tears hanging in her eyes too and she pulls me back into a hug. I'm still tense under her touch, but I hug her back, holding her tight. "Karma, I love you."

 

"I love you too Amy."

 

Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be the weekend in Las Vegas.


	21. Chapter 21

I have finally finished my shift at the hospital. I stayed later than normal to get all my charting finished so tomorrow the only thing I have to deal with is some stupid half-day in-service before getting on a plane and going to Vegas. As soon as I walk through the front door I head straight to the kitchen to try and calm my rumbling stomach. I had a small breakfast before work, missed lunch, and now that it's almost 7pm I'm starving. I'm salivating already with the aromas coming from the kitchen, which tells me Sara is working on dinner. I walk into the kitchen to find Sara standing over the stove with Reagan sitting at the island. 

 

"Oh my God Sara, that smells amazing," I tell her as I walk toward the fridge and grab a bottle of water.

 

"Perfect timing Amy," Sara says and it's quickly followed by clanking noises on the floor upstairs. All three of us look up at the ceiling, and before I could say anything Reagan chimes in.

 

"Karma is flipping out. She's trying to pack for this weekend and for some reason she's gone into full blown panic mode," Reagan says as she sips on her beer. I immediately think the worst, that Karma isn't over Liam. Then I get smacked in the back of the head.

 

"What the fuck Sara!" I yell at her, reaching up to rub the back of my head.

 

"I know where you just went Amy and you need to cut that shit out. She's not freaking out over Liam tying the knot-,"

 

"But-,"

 

"Knock it off Amy," Sara demands. "Now take your ass upstairs, kiss your girlfriend to calm her down, and bring both of your asses down for dinner." I don't say anything before leaving and slowly making my way upstairs. I walk into my room and notice it's empty as I sit my bag down by the closet door.

 

All the commotion is coming from Karma's room. I stop in her bathroom door and see stuff flying out of her closet. Pants, shirts, sweaters, dresses...she seems to be tearing her closet apart. I hear her mumble in frustration. Clothes stop flying around for a brief moment before Karma appears in the closet door, startled when she sees me.

 

"Damn it Amy, you scared the shit out of me," she sighs in frustration. She is so cute when she's mad and I feel a smile creep across my face. "If you say anything about me coming out of the closet I'm gonna smack you," she tells me as she wraps her arms around me and places a chaste kiss on my lips.

 

"Why would you smack me? I ask playfully.

 

"Well, it's not like I can revoke the sex card since we don't do that anymore." I immediately feel my heart sink into my stomach and I look away from her as I wiggle out of her arms. "Shit Amy, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking and -,"

 

"We should get downstairs," I tell her when I stop in the doorway. "Dinner's ready and Reagan and Sara are waiting on us." I don't give her a chance to say anything before I leave and walk downstairs. I walk back into the kitchen and take a seat at the island across from Sara.

 

"Where's Karma?" Reagan asks. As soon as Reagan asks, Karma walks into the kitchen. That girl has always had impeccable timing.

 

"Hey guys. Sara this looks amazing," Karma says sitting down next to me. As soon as she's seated Reagan and Sara start putting food on their plates and I feel Karma's hand on my thigh. I immediately tense under her touch and I feel her lean into me. "I'm sorry for what I said Aims," she whispers in my ear then kisses my cheek. I don't say anything, but I do nod my head, acknowledging her gesture. We haven't had sex since the incident and I know it's bothering her. It's bothering me too, but I still don't trust myself with her. A few minutes into dinner Reagan addresses Karma's odd behavior from earlier.

 

"So Karma, what the hell got into you earlier? You were tearing the house apart, what were you looking for? Reagan asks between bites of her dinner. I glance over to Karma and notice a light blush across her cheeks, and an embarrassed look on her face. She takes a bite from her plate and a few seconds later she finally speaks.

 

"Sara, this chicken is amazing, what's the recipe?" I look across the island to Sara and notice the smug, mischievous look all over her face telling me shit's about to get real.

 

"Thanks Karma. It's creamy basil and tomato chicken, but you're not getting off that easy. What were you looking for?" Karma flushes with embarrassment this time and I look back over to Sara and Reagan, both of them smirking at Karma. Karma kept opening and closing her mouth trying to speak but she was at a loss for words. Reagan and Sara both start laughing.

 

"Relax Karma. You left your stuff downstairs yesterday," Reagan says through a smile. I can't tell if Karma looks relieved or slightly humiliated right now.

 

"I'm lost. What did you leave downstairs Karms?" I ask.

 

"Well, these two went shopping yesterday and I'm pretty sure there's some sex-," Karma quickly interrupts Sara.

 

"I just needed to pick up some stuff for the wedding," Karma blurts out before taking the last bite of food on her plate. She stands up quickly and puts her dishes in the sink. "I'm just gonna go grab that so I can finish packing," Karma says as she bolts out of the kitchen. Reagan immediately stands next to Sara.

 

"I'll be right back," she tells her before leaning in and giving her a quick kiss, then walking after Karma. Sara can't stop smiling about what just happened. As soon as Reagan disappears, Sara bursts into a fit of laughter.

 

"What. The. Hell. Was. That?" I ask, thoroughly confused. Sara is still laughing.

 

"Uh-uh. I'm not saying a word," Sara replies as she walks over to the sink after clearing the table.

 

"Sara."

 

"Amy." I do my best to give her a stern look. "Look, I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough," she says winking at me. Reagan comes back into the kitchen with a smirk on her face.

 

"Reagan," I say sternly.

 

"Amy," she replies mocking me. After a brief stare down, Reagan raises an eyebrow. "I'm sure you'll figure it out this weekend." They're clearly not going to spill anything so I get up, clear my dishes, and say good night. I'm walking up the stairs to my room and I am so confused by what just happened. I walk into my bedroom and plop down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. The distant sound of the shower running tells me where Karma is. I feel like I'm ready to doze off, thankful that I did my packing last night. I don't hear the shower turn off, but I do feel the mattress dip next to me. I open my eyes to see Karma sitting next to me on the edge of the bed, wrapped in a towel, and her wet hair combed back and falling onto her bare shoulders. There is nothing this girl could do that would make her anything other than beautiful in my eyes. I sit up and start sliding back towards the head board, my heart racing out of my chest.

 

"Are you okay? I mean, are you feeling better?" I ask her, trying to maintain eye contact with her. 

 

"Yeah, I'm okay. I kinda freaked out there didn't I?" She says with a little bit of laughter.

 

"Care to explain?" I ask with a sly grin.

 

"No. I don't actually," she replies confidently. "But...I don't know, maybe I can show you. This weekend," she starts sliding up the bed towards me and when she's close enough, she puts her hand on the back of my neck and leans in, placing a very soft kiss on my lips. And then she keeps kissing me softly. After a few seconds she pulls away and I suddenly miss her lips on mine.

 

"Karms."

 

"Why don't you go get a shower and come back to bed. I'll get Netflix ready," she whispers.

 

"Okay," I quietly reply and for the first time in months I initiate our next kiss. It's soft and tentative, but it's still amazing because I'm kissing Karma. "I'll be right back," I tell her before kissing her forehead and going to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and get dressed in the bathroom. I crawl into bed next to her and as soon as I'm comfortable she snuggles into me, resting her head on my chest.

 

"Since we have to get up earlier than normal is House Hunters okay?" She asks looking up at me and I nod my head.

 

"It doesn't matter what we watch Karms, I just want to be here with you." Karma blushes a little before she leans up and kisses me.

 

"I love you butt face." I can't help but smile when I hear that.

 

"I love you too Karms." She snuggles back down into me before drifting off to sleep.

 

 

"Amy. Amy, c'mon get up," Karma says shaking me.

 

"Uh-uh," I mumble, still asleep, snuggling back down into the pillow that my body is curled around.

 

"Amy, I need to get up." I squeeze my pillow tighter when I feel it moving underneath me. What the hell? I open my eyes and realize I'm laying on top of Karma. She's the pillow I couldn't get close enough to and she's squirming around trying to get free of me. I suddenly panic, wondering if I hurt her.

 

"Shit Karma, I'm so sorry," I tell her as I roll off of her, terrified that I hurt her last night.

 

"It's okay. No worries," she says cupping my face with her hand. "Aims I'm fine, you didn't do anything to hurt me. In fact, I really liked it. I'm always sleeping on top of you like that, so it's nice to get to hold you for a change," she reassures me before giving me a sleepy kiss. "I'm gonna get a shower. Go back to sleep babe," she tells me before getting up. I've never been a morning person so I just roll over and go back to sleep.

 

"Amy, honey. It's time to get up," Karma whispers between kisses. I do my best to ignore it, pulling away from her. "Let's go Aims, the car for the airport is here and you need to get ready for work," she says giving me one last kiss. I don't say anything, but get up slowly.

 

"How can you be such a morning person?" I ask, already grumpy because the sun hasn't risen.

 

"Why are you always so grumpy?" She asks, narrowing her eyes at me. She walks over to me where I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, and she extends both hands offering to help me up. I hesitate briefly but accept her help. She pulls me up off the bed, and pulls my hands behind her wrapping my arms around her waist. She leans up and kisses me. "Good morning," she says with half a smile, biting on her lower lip.

 

"Yeah, good morning," I reply, half annoyed at being awake this early. She pulls away from me and walks to the bedroom door, collecting her things. I walk over before she could grab her suitcase and pick it up for her.

 

"Jesus Karma, what did you pack? Bricks?" She just laughs at me and I follow her downstairs and outside to the waiting car. Reagan and Sara are already out there saying their goodbyes. The driver approaches us both, taking Karma's bags. 

 

"I'll see you tonight okay," she tells me as she hugs me. Before she could pull away I give her a quick kiss.

 

"Text me when you get there okay," I remind her. "I'll see you tonight. I love you."

 

"I love you too Amy," she says before climbing in the back seat of the SUV next to Reagan. I notice Sara step up next to me as we both watch the tail lights of the SUV disappear.

 

"Thank God that shit is finally over," Sara tells me as we both stand up with about a hundred other doctors and nurses as the last speaker dismisses us.

 

"We've got an hour and half before we leave for the airport. You want to grab lunch?" I ask her as we exit the lecture hall and head towards the elevators.

 

"Yeah, but I need to check on a patient first," she replies, reaching out and hitting the elevator call button.

 

"I still can't believe you didn't do ortho. Want me to grab your usual?"

 

"Yeah, I'd appreciate that. And I'm thinking about doing a sports medicine fellowship when the residency ends." The elevator doors open and she steps inside. "I'll see you in a bit," she says and I watch the elevator doors close before walking down the hallway towards the main cafeteria.

 

"Dr. Raudenfeld." I turn around to see Dr. Taylor approaching me.

 

"Dr. Taylor, how are you?"

 

"I'm good, just headed to the cafeteria. Would you like to join me?" she asks. I nod and we continue walking towards the cafeteria. Dr. Taylor has been my therapist the past couple of months, ever since the incident with Karma. She has also been a pretty good friend and mentor since I did my psych rotation with her during my third year of medical school. We get our food and find a quiet spot in the back the cafeteria.

 

"So Sara told me you guys were headed to Vegas this weekend. This is the first get away for you and Karma?" I nod, taking a bite of my cheeseburger. "How do you feel about that?"

 

"Is this another therapy session?" I ask with a bit of venom in my voice.

 

"No. No its not. Can I talk to you as a friend?" I don't reply because I'm embarrassed that I got so defensive with her, but I guess my silence was giving her permission to continue.

 

"Amy, Karma loves you and I know that you love her. No matter what happens, she isn't going anywhere. Now, you can keep hating yourself and keeping your distance so you guys can kinda sorta be happy. Or you can forgive yourself and trust yourself again, and have an amazing and long-lasting relationship with Karma." She finishes her little speech and takes a bite of her salad, still carefully eying me. "You're it for her Amy, and I know that she is it for you. It's time for you to finally fix this and move forward with the love of your life." Before I could say anything to Dr. Taylor, Sara drops down in the seat next to me.

 

"Thanks for grabbing my salad Amy," she says as she puts her salad down in front of her and at the same time Dr. Taylor stands up to leave.

 

"Sara. Amy. You guys have a safe trip. And Amy, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call me." She smiles and turns to leave.

 

"Dr. Taylor," I say quickly, and she turns to face me. "Thank you. Thank you for everything." She nods and smiles before she disappears into the crowded cafeteria.

 

"So...you ready for Vegas?" Sara asks as she jabs me in the side.

 

"Yeah. Yeah I am." 

 

A few hours later, Sara and I are walking through McCarran International Airport towards the exit when we both see Reagan walking towards us. She immediately walks up to Sara and throws her arms around her neck. Sara reciprocates the gesture by wrapping her up in a hug and spinning them around. Both are giggling.

 

"You guys realize its been less than twelve hours since you saw each other right?" I ask.

 

"Yeah, but I've always wanted that sweet, kinda romantic airport reunion," Reagan says as she looks up at Sara with loving eyes.

 

"You've got it bad," I tease Sara and when she makes eye contact with me I knew she was going to bury me with some snarky comment, but she looked back at Reagan before she spoke.

 

"Yeah. I really do," Sara says before kissing Reagan's forehead.

 

"Let's go, the car's out front," Reagan tells us as she weaves her arm into Sara's.

 

"Where's Karma?" I ask, walking beside the two lovebirds.

 

"She said she wasn't feeling well and she wanted to get a nap before we all went out tonight," Reagan replied.

 

"So what's the plan for tonight babe?" Sara asks as we approach the exit.

 

"Karma and I decided on Freemont Street," Reagan informs us. I haven't said much since asking about Karma.

 

"Relax Amy," Sara tells me. "I know what's going on in that head of yours. You worry to much."

 

"You and Karma have a room next to ours. We're on the twenty second floor and the view is amazing," Reagan says as she approaches the driver of our car.

 

"What hotel?" Sara asks as she tosses her bag in the trunk. I follow Sara and drop my bag next to hers.

 

"Mandarin Oriental. That's where the wedding and reception will take place and it looks like Ashley's family has pretty much rented out the entire hotel," Reagan answers before climbing into the car. It took us fifteen minutes to get from the airport to the hotel and I was excited to see Karma. I was determined to have a good weekend with her after what Dr. Taylor told me earlier. We finally made it to the twenty second floor and Sara and Reagan looked like they couldn't get to their room quick enough. They stopped at the their room the same time I got to mine. I hear Reagan laugh and I look up to see her trying to open the door with Sara behind her, arms around her waist, pushing up against her.

 

"Meet you at the elevator in two hours Amy," Reagan says as her and Sara disappear into their room. I've got a feeling that those two will be tying the knot soon. I quietly walk into the room and see Karma asleep on the bed. I put my bag down beside the desk and set an alarm on my phone. After a couple of minutes of giving myself a pep talk, I slide into bed behind Karma. I'm careful not to wake her when I put my arm around her, being the big spoon. She instinctively scoots closer to me, pressing her back into me, and I place a soft kiss on her neck before dozing off.

 

It wasn't long before my alarm went off, ending my nap. It didn't take me long to realize that I was alone in bed, but before I could get to my feet Karma walks into the room wearing a hotel bath robe.

 

"Good. You're awake. You need to see this," she tells me as she grabs my hand, dragging me behind her. "There's a walk-in closet and look at this bathroom. Glass shower with a separate whirlpool tub and a double vanity." This girl is something else. She is like a kid on Christmas morning.

 

"Where's the toilet?" I ask and she gives me that Karma glare. "What? It's important to know these things."

 

"Look at this tub," she says pulling me across the bathroom.

 

"You could swim in this thing," I tell her, faking my enthusiasm. 

 

"Uh-huh. Maybe we can try it out together before we have to go home," she suggests to me, wrapping her arms around me. Do not panic. Breathe. Just breathe. I take a deep breath to steady myself.

 

"Maybe," I tell her, kissing her forehead. "But right now we need to get ready to meet Reagan and Sara." I pull away from her but give her a quick kiss.

 

"What's gotten into you?" she asks, and she looks genuinely happy. I shrug my shoulders.

 

"I just want us to have a good weekend together," I reply. "C'mon, let's get ready to go. I'm starving." 

 

An hour later the four of us are walking down the western end of Freemont Street, enjoying the Viva Vision and the light and sound shows. I feel a hand slip into mine and I know it's Karma. No one else's hand has ever fit so perfectly in mine.

 

"Hey guys, this is it," Reagan says pointing to a sign that says Heart Attack Grill.

 

"You can't be serious?" Sara asks, looking at Reagan like she's crazy. "You've lost your damn mind if you think I'm going to eat this shit."

 

"Well, I tell you what. If you come in and eat and not bitch about it," Reagan says as she gets into Sara's personal space. She leans in and whispers something to Sara and a rather large smile crosses Sara's face at what she's hearing.

 

"You're serious? We'll do that later?" She asks Reagan.

 

"Uh-huh."

 

"Okay, let's go," Sara says taking Reagan's hand and pulling her into the Heart Attack Grill. I hear Karma giggling beside me and I nudge her with my elbow playfully before we go into the grill.

 

I thought I was going to have a heart attack just reading the menu. Karma and I split the single bypass burger and get separate orders of fries. Reagan and Sara do the same. The food was amazing. We spent another couple of hours on Freemont before getting a ride back to the Strip. We got back to the Strip after 11pm and managed to see the Bellagio Water Show. After that we started to explore a little bit. We tucked into a small convenience store where Reagan and Sara both bought beer. Karma bought two and handed me one. Apparently open container laws aren't really enforced. "Karms, I'm not sure if I should," I tell her looking at the beer she just handed me.

 

"You don't have to, but I trust you. You're not going to do anything stupid Amy. I just want us to get back to normal, but it's your call." I think to myself, what the hell and I take the beer from her and we walk back out onto the street. Forty-five minutes later we decide to head back to the hotel. It's been a long day and I just want to get some rest. As soon as we walk into the room I head straight to the large, floor-to-ceiling window. This view is unbelievable. I'm leaning against the window when I feel hands wrap around my waist.

 

"You okay Aims?"

 

"Yeah, you need to see this view," I tell Karma as I notice she is hiding her eyes behind my shoulder. "You can see the entire Strip."

 

"I'll pass. You know how I feel about heights," she begins to slip away and I turn and catch her hand softly. I don't know where this confidence came from.

 

"Do you trust me?" I ask softly. She steps into me before answering.

 

"I trust you completely, more than anyone else." I smile and gently pull her towards the window.

 

"I want to show you something. Close your eyes." Karma immediately closes her eyes and I pull her between me and the window. I'm standing behind her with my arms around her. "Look," I whisper before kissing behind her ear and resting my chin on her shoulder.

 

"Oh my God. This view is beautiful. And holy shit we're high up," she says as starts wiggling around. "Aims," she anxiously says.

 

"I've got you. Just breathe." After a few seconds she seems okay.

 

"Better?" I ask and she nods. "I'm going to get a shower, then go to bed," I tell her as I pull her away from the window and walk towards the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

 

I wake up to sunlight pouring through the large window in the room, almost blinding me. I move around a bit, but I'm completely lost because I smell food. I go to sit up and rub my eyes when I feel the mattress dip next to me. I feel Karma's lips on mine.

 

"Good morning. I knew you'd be hungry so I ordered room service," Karma tells me, pushing a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

 

"What time is it?"

 

"It's a few minutes after ten. C'mon, we need to get moving. We're supposed to meet everyone downstairs at eleven," she says standing up from the bed. I don't let her walk away. I grab her wrist and pull her back down on the bed next to me.

 

"Thank you," I tell her, playing with her fingers. My eyes fall to her lips and trail back to her eyes. I hesitate, but I slowly move closer, kissing her softly, cupping her face with my free hand. "I love you."

 

"I love you too. Now let's get moving. And we will finish this later," she says, winking and biting her lower lip as she walks away to the bathroom. I walk over to the room service cart to see what she ordered for us. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, water, toast, and donuts. Donuts. Man, I love this girl. I eat quickly then get ready. A few minutes before eleven, we are on the elevator headed down to the lobby. I get off the elevator and see everyone in the center of the lobby, including Liam. After we greet each other, Liam pulls us away into a room that looks like tonight's reception hall.

 

"Guys, I just wanted to get us all together because I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to do this later," Liam tells us.

 

"Do what?" Shane asks. Two gentlemen appear carrying flutes of champagne. After everyone has a glass, Liam speaks again.

 

"I want to say thank you to each one of you for being here for my big day. I know that sometimes I'm difficult to deal with," I snicker a little earning glares from everyone and a smack from Sara. "And no matter what has happened, you guys have been there for me. Always. I am so blessed to have you all as family and I love everyone of you. Even you Amy." I half ass smile at him and give him the finger before we all toast. Everyone takes a moment with Liam and he gets to me last as he's leaving.

 

"We've never done this part well, but I am happy for you Liam," I tell him as we hug awkwardly.

 

"That's such bullshit Lauren," Shane blurts out. "I think it's a toss up. Sara or Amy could propose next. Hell, maybe even Reagan or Karma.

 

"Whatever Harvey, Karma and Amy have been trying for years to get their shit together. Sara and Reagan will take the plunge before my dumb ass sister and her crazy girlfriend," Lauren snaps back at him.

 

"You know she loves you, right?" Liam asks me, pulling my attention away from Lauren and Shane.

 

"Yeah. I know she does. She'll always be my pain in the ass sister," I tell him only for him to laugh at me.

 

"Of course Lauren loves you, but I was talking about Karma. It's always been you Amy. Even when we were kids. It's always been you. Don't ever forget that," he says, hugging me and then walking away from the reception area. I walk over to Karma and the rest of the group. I put my arm over her shoulders and kiss her forehead.

 

"Everything okay?" she asks me.

 

"Everything's perfect," I reply. A few minutes later our entire group is out on the Strip: Shane, Matthew, Lauren, Jonathan, Reagan, Sara, Karma, and myself. We spend the next several hours enjoying each others company and everything the Strip has to offer. At 4pm, we all head to our rooms to get ready for the wedding. I beat Karma to the shower. I'm not sure how long I've been in there, but before I know it the shower door opens and Karma joins me. I don't say anything, but I raise an eyebrow at her.

 

"What?" She asks innocently. "You were taking to long. Besides, I thought we could pick up where we left off this morning." She doesn't hesitate before she kisses me and before I know it we are tangled up in each other. I am totally lost in this woman.

 

"Karms. We should stop."

 

"What's wrong? Everything okay?" She huffs out, slightly winded from our make out session.

 

"Yeah, everything's fine. We just need to get ready and not be late," I say smiling at her. She nods and I kiss her one more time before stepping out of the shower.

 

"Karma, let's go," I say from the bed. She's always taken forever to get ready.

 

"Does this look okay?" I look up when I hear her voice. Fuck. She is stunning. I don't think there's a word in the English language that could adequately describe her beauty. She walks up to me and takes my hand. "I'll take that as a yes," she says as she pulls me out the door and to the elevator.

 

The wedding ceremony begins promptly at 6pm. It's the most ridiculous and most beautiful event I have ever seen. Karma and Lauren are all gaga about this and that gets me thinking. Will Karma and I get married? What will our wedding be like? Will I be able to afford Karma's dream wedding? Before panic could set in, I feel an elbow in my ribs. I look up and see Sara silently telling me to pay attention, nodding her head toward the alter.

 

"To be my lawfully wedded wife." I feel Karma's hand slide into mine. "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse." Karma squeezes my hand and I make eye contact with her. "For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health." She smiles at me and my heart skips a beat. "Until death do us part."

 

A few minutes later we're being ushered into the reception hall. There has to be five hundred or more people here for this. It took awhile to get the reception started, but the food was good and the DJ was even better. I was catching my breath at our table when I slow song started playing. It didn't take me long to find Karma on the dance floor with Liam.

 

"You alright champ?" Reagan asks, sitting down next to me.

 

"Yeah, just a little tired is all," I reply.

 

"Amy, you know that-," I cut Reagan off before she could say it.

 

"I know. I'm not worried," I say looking up and finding Karma's eyes with mine. She waves and I wave back. "So what are we doing next?" I ask.

 

"Matthew got us tickets to the club at MGM Grand so we'll head that way when this winds down," Sara tells us. Karma joins us a couple of minutes later. The whole gang is now waiting for things to come to an end and as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Liam Booker leave for their honeymoon, we disappear out into the night.

 

We get to the club around 11pm and it's the wildest thing I've ever seen. The club is spread out over five floors. "Holy shit, Calvin Harris is spinning," screams Reagan over the music. Matthew was able top score us VIP tickets and we had a little bit of privacy because of it. Everyone was dancing and having a good time. I made my way over to our private booth and sat down next to Sara.

 

"Shit. I'm wore out," I say to Sara as I look to the floor in front of us searching for Karma. She's there with Reagan and Shane having a good time when a guy walks up and starts dancing with her.

 

"Are you okay with that?" Sara asks pointing toward Karma.

 

"Yeah, she's just dancing and having fun. I trust her," I tell Sara. "I'm going to get out of here. I've got a pounding headache and I'm just going to go back to the room," I say standing. I thought about saying bye to Karma, but didn't want to fight the mob of people on the dance floor.

 

When I get back to the room I shower and put on shorts and a t-shirt. I pour myself a Jack and Coke and take a seat by the window. As soon as I get comfortable, Karma barges in.

 

"Amy. Amy there you are." I walk across the room stopping in front of her. "It's not what you think. That guy, we were just dancing. It didn't mean anything and I pushed him away before anything could really happen." She's a rambling idiot at this point and she's not shutting up any time soon. It's 2am and my head is killing me. I need her to shut up, so I grab her face and kiss her. I pull away and she's speechless.

 

"I just needed you to stop talking," I whisper before softly kissing her again. In no time the kisses turn into hungry and passionate and I'm underneath Karma, she's straddling my hips.

 

"Karms, is this okay?" I ask.

 

"This is more than okay," she replies before sitting up and pulling her dress off. I almost lose my shit when I see her in her black lingerie. Seconds later she's back in bed with me and an hour later she rolls off of me. We are both sweaty, panting messes. She rolls onto her side facing me.

 

"God I've missed that. You were incredible Aims," she tells me, still trying to catch her breath. I wrap my arm around her and pull her close.

 

"Karma, I love you."

 

"I love you too Amy," she tells me. "You about ready to go to sleep?" she asks and all I can do is grin from ear to ear.

 

"Not even close," I reply as I roll on top of her, kissing her hungrily.

 

"Room service." Bam, bam, bam.

 

"Ugh, did you order room service Karms?"

 

"No, I didn't." Before either one us was fully awake, the door opens and I hear Reagan.

 

"Room service," she says pushing a cart with Sara behind her. Karma and I pull frantically at the sheets to make sure our naked bodies were covered.

 

"What the fuck guys! Come on. What is this?" I ask.

 

"Well after last night we thought you guys should have a big breakfast. Karma, I kinda knew you'd be a screamer, but Amy you were pretty loud too," Reagan tells us. Karma flushes with embarrassment and I'm about ready to die.

 

"You guys were pretty busy. I mean I counted nine, so somebody owes somebody one," Sara informs us.

 

"Oh my God," I lay down, thoroughly embarrassed.

 

"Yeah, that would be me," Karma says smugly. "But after the way she worked me over I really owe her a couple." Reagan spits her water everywhere and begins choking.

 

"Jesus Christ," I say crawling under the sheets while the room erupts in laughter.

 

"We're gonna go out for a couple of hours before the flight home. You guys want to go?" Reagan asks.

 

"No, we're going to stay here. Thanks though. You guys can let yourselves out," Karma tells them and they immediately exit the room, still laughing. As soon as they're gone Karma gets up and goes to the bathroom. I hear water running.

 

"You know Karms, we could've gone if you wanted to," I remind her.

 

"Nope. I've made other plans for us." I look at her trying to figure out what she's talking about and she pulls me out of bed.

 

"What are you doing Karma?"

 

"We're going for a swim in that big ass bath tub."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

The last six weeks have been completely amazing, but they have also been a little crazy. Everyone has been so busy. Lauren's wedding is in a few weeks and she's almost gone into full panic mode, becoming a little bit of a bridezilla. Reagan and Karma have been in the studio at all hours laying down tracks and trying to polish their sound. Sara, Kate, and several more people have been in and out of the studio recording different parts. Sara and I have both been busy at work, finishing our second year of residency. In about a month we will start our final year, and I think that I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know everything will be okay as long as Karma is with me.

 

I'm sitting on my bed editing some photos I took a couple of weeks ago. My dad and Karma put together a sweet photography bag for me. Most of the gear is used from my dad, but it is still professional level stuff. I've been taking shots of everyone working in the studio and I'm currently editing a candid shot of Reagan and Karma sitting at the small mixing board in the studio. I can't help but smile as I look at a dear friend and the love of my life totally focused on something they both love. I look up when I hear someone knock on the door frame.

 

"Hey. Dinner's almost ready. Sara has whipped up another amazing concoction so I hope you're hungry," Karma tells me as she walks over and crawls up the bed toward me. She sits down next to me, snuggling into me. "That's such a great shot Aims," she points out when she sees my laptop screen.

 

"Yeah, well I've always had a pretty good eye for things of beauty," I remind her as I drop my arm over her shoulder and pull her in to place a gentle kiss on her lips. As I pull back I notice a slight blush across her cheeks. "I'm so glad you talked to my dad about hooking me up with all this camera gear. I've really missed being able to just go out and take pictures," I note as my stomach growls.

 

"C'mon, let's go eat," Karma says as she pulls me up off the bed wrapping me in a hug before I can even put my laptop on the bed behind me.

 

"Karms...can't breathe. Are you okay?" I ask her.

 

"Yeah, everything is fine. I just really love you ya know," she reminds me before she leans up and kisses me. "Let's go, they're waiting downstairs," she adds before pulling me out of the bedroom and downstairs to the kitchen. We walk in and find Sara standing over the island with Reagan standing behind her, her arms wrapped around Sara's waist. Sara seems unphased by Reagan's attempts at distraction.

 

"Sara," Reagan whines.

 

"Sara all this looks amazing. Where did you learn how to cook like this? I mean you've never made a bad meal yet," I ask her as I reach for a biscuit. She quickly smacks my hand, reprimanding me like a child.

 

"My grandmother. Now wash your hands before grabbing for food," Sara barks at me. After washing my hands I return back to the island that is full of food. My attention is pulled away when I hear Shane make his entrance, with Matthew right behind him.

 

"I've got sweet tea, wine, and beer," Shane chimes in after him and Matthew sit the bags on the counter. 

"Alright, we've got bacon wrapped scallops, lemon butter baked cod, grilled steak, green beans, sweet potatoes, salad, and my grandmother's home made biscuits," Sara calls out. After a few minutes we are all at the table eating, chatting, and having a family meal together. With Karma next to me, I can't imagine life being any more perfect right now. 

 

"So Karma, are you all packed and ready to go back to Nashville?" Matthew asks. The room got so quiet you could hear my heart beating out of chest. What the hell? What is he talking about, Karma's going back to Nashville? One look at Karma and I see in her eyes that she is going back to Nashville, and I suddenly can't breathe.

 

"Aims I was-,"

 

"I need some air," I choke out before running from the table and out the front door. I stop in the driveway and Karma is right behind me.

 

"Amy, please. I need-,"

 

"Karma," Sara says. "I've got her. Go back inside." I watch Karma turn slowly and go back in the house. "Amy, deep breaths okay." I nod, and do as Sara asks. As my breathing starts to return to normal, Sara and walk over to front steps and sit down. "I'm guessing this is the first time you've heard of their trip to Nashville?"

"Their?" 

 

"Yeah. Karma and Reagan. They've got a chance to spend a few weeks in one of the big studios up there. Recording, producing, writing, networking, it's a big deal for both of them.

 

"Why wouldn't she tell me?" I ask, thoroughly confused as to why Karma wouldn't tell me something this big.

 

"I'm guessing she was scared to tell you she was going back to Nashville." Sara and I sit there for a few more minutes. "Look, you guys need to really talk about this. Just remember that Reagan will be with her the whole time and she'll back before you know it."

 

"You're okay with all this? Reagan leaving for a few weeks is okay with you?" I ask her and she doesn't even hesitate before she answers.

 

"I am more than okay with this. This is what she loves to do. This is a huge part of who she is and I love her enough to let her go and chase her dreams because I know that she loves me enough to always come back home to me," Sara confesses. "They leave the day after tomorrow, just so you know before you go back in there."

 

"Thanks Sara." She nods and walks back into the house. I sit there for a few more minutes trying to figure out the best way to approach Karma with this and I come to the conclusion that there really isn't a good way other than to let her explain and go from there. I make my way back inside where Reagan tells me that Karma is upstairs. I go up to my room and hear the shower running. I strip down and tip toe through the bathroom. I slowly pull the shower curtain back and step into the shower with Karma. I figured she'd be less likely to run away from me like this. She turns under the spray and is startled when she sees me.

 

"Amy. Look, I can explain." She starts to ramble on and I really don't want to hear it so I step into her and pull her into me and a kiss that will shut her up. I slowly pull away and tell her to turn around as I grab her soap. I place a soft kiss on her right shoulder and start washing her back.

 

"Karma this is a huge deal for you, so why couldn't you share this with me?"

 

"I was scared of what you would say. I know a part of you feels like you lost me Nashville once and that you're scared it will happen again. Aims, I don't have to go. I won't go if it means that we won't be okay," she tells me as she turns around, wrapping her arms around my neck.

 

"You have to go Karma. This is your dream, and -," 

 

"My dream is to spend the rest of my life with you Amy. Nothing else matters."

 

"Karma, listen. You are going to go, and you are going to chase your dreams, and when you are done chasing your dreams I will be right here waiting for you to come home to me." I see tears pool in her eyes, so I pull her into a tight hug. "I love you and we are going to be okay. I promise." She pulls away and laughs a little.

 

"How did I get so lucky with you? I mean I should be the one reassuring you," she tells me as she wipes her face.

 

"You will everyday when you call and text me," I remind her before kissing her forehead. We quickly finish our shower and get ready for bed. 

 

"Netflix?" She asks innocently, and I answer by pulling her into bed on top of me.

 

"Not tonight baby. I've only got another day with you and I don't want to waste it," I whisper to her before she kisses me in a way that tells me it's going to be a pretty good night.

 

The next day passes by quickly, with Karma and I staying in bed for the better part of it. We enjoyed Netflix and each other, occasionally running off downstairs for snacks. Before I knew it it was already dinner time. We ate another delicious meal with Sara and Reagan before disappearing back upstairs so Karma could finish packing. We called it a night soon after, and I spent the better part of the night watching Karma sleep in my arms since my thoughts of losing her to Nashville or someone else kept me up all night.

 

I was still awake when the alarm clock went off at five am. As usual, Karma bounces up all perky.  
"How long have you been awake?" she asks me after kissing my cheek.

 

"Awhile."

 

"You didn't sleep at all did you?" I shake my head and I see the concern in her eyes. "Oh Aims...c'mere," she tells me as she pulls me into an embrace. I feel her fingers stroking my back. "I won't go if you aren't sure about this."

 

"You're going Karma, this isn't up for discussion. I'll be okay. These few weeks will be over with before you know it and you'll come back home to me," I remind her, hoping that my reassurance will be enough. We go through our morning routines and then meet Reagan and Sara downstairs. The drive to the airport was faster than I expected, and before I knew it the four of us were standing in the terminal, about to say our goodbyes. Sara, being the rock that she is, pulled Karma into a hug first. Reagan was quick to hug me and before I could say anything she told me that she would take care of Karma and bring her home to me. Then it was my turn to say goodbye to Karma, who was looking pretty unsure of the situation. 

 

"Have a safe flight okay and call me when you land," I remind her. Tears fall down her cheeks and she quickly wipes them away. I pull her into a hug. "Shhh. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay. I love you so much Karms, and we're going to be okay."

 

"I love you too Amy. God, I love you so much," she says, squeezing me tighter.

 

"Karma, we need to get going," Reagan tells her as she picks up her bag, still holding Sara's hand. Karma and I let each other go.

 

"I'll call you as soon as I can. I promise," she whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek. I kiss her forehead one last time before she walks away with Reagan. I almost forgot that Sara was standing next to me.

 

"You alright Amy?"

 

"I'm okay. Are you okay?" Sara doesn't say anything but nods her head and all I can think is that these next few weeks are going to suck.


	23. Chapter 23

I'm pounding the pavement, somehow keeping up with Sara on the this last mile of our five mile run. Karma and Reagan have been gone for almost a week now, and it's definitely not the same without them here. Sara's been pretty quiet and a little withdrawn since Reagan left, and I haven't been sleeping well. It's been bearable up to this point. Karma and I have been able to talk every morning before work, with random texts scattered throughout the day. At night we Face Time before bed.

 

Sara and I have both been quiet for this entire run, and before I could say anything to her she picks up the pace, sprinting towards the small grassy hill and the finish line for today's run. I don't make any effort to keep up with her, but finish a couple minutes later. It takes me a few minutes to catch my breath, and once I do I sit down next to her on the grass. "You've still got vacation days this year right?" Sara asks me, her eyes not looking up from the ground in front of her.

 

"Yeah, I've still got a week left...you?" I questioned her.

 

"Yeah, I've still got a week left too," she answers, pulling at the grass in front of her. "Since we can't roll them over, and if we don't use them we lose them, are you up for a trip?" I hesitate a brief moment, wondering where she's thinking we should go.

 

"Yeah sure...where are we headed?" Before Sara answers I see a small smile cross her face.

 

"I thought we could go visit my family in Alabama. Spend some time away from everything," she replies, still pulling blades of grass in front of her. I can't help but smile.

 

"Your parents farm? Three and half hours south of Nashville?" I inquire, grinning from ear to ear.

 

"Yeah...spend a couple days with mom and dad. Drive up and surprise the girls." 

 

"I like the sound of that," I tell her standing up, then reaching down and pulling Sara up. "We should get home. We have travel arrangements to make."

___________________

The last few days at work drug on slowly, but we are finally in the air just a few minutes from touching down in Birmingham. Sara's mom Janet agreed to pick us up. I can't wait to get off this plane. I skipped breakfast this morning and I desperately need food since it is early afternoon.

 

"Mom's gonna pick us up and it will take us a little more than an hour to get home," Sara informs me as she fastens her seat belt.

 

"That's great because I am starving," I tell her as she laughs at me. Twenty minutes later Sara and I are walking through the terminal toward baggage claim when Sara loses her shit.

 

"This is bullshit. I just got a text from my mom telling me that she wasn't going to be able to pick us up today." Sara is clearly annoyed at this new information. "What the fuck are we supposed to do now? Rent one of those shitty cars from these overpriced airport rental companies?" She is clearly pissed so I decide that I'm just going to let her rant until I look up through the thinning crowd. I'm smiling so big I can feel my face hurt, and I stop dead in my tracks.

 

"What the fuck Amy? How is this fucked up situation funny?" I don't even acknowledge that she said anything because I can't stop looking at the beautiful, auburn hair beauty quickly making her way to me. Within seconds, I'm wrapped up in Karma's arms, and it is hands down the best feeling in the world.

 

"Has she been this bitchy all morning?" I hear Reagan ask, but I don't get a chance to respond. I look over at them as I see Sara wrap her up in a bear hug. "You know Sara you're kinda hot when you're madder than hell," Reagan says pulling away from their hug. "Your mom called and told me you guys were coming, and Karma and I wanted to surprise you both," she explains to Sara and I. 

 

"Yeah, we worked through the weekend so we could have four days with you guys," Karma says as she wraps her arm around my waist. "Let's get out of here...I have a feeling this one here is hungry," Karma tells the group as she squeezes me just a little bit tighter. We pick up our bags at baggage claim and are headed to the car. Reagan hands the keys to Sara, and before I know it we are on the interstate headed to the farm where Sara grew up. About an hour later, Sara turns off onto a long dirt road. Karma and I both sit up a little taking in our surroundings since this is the first time either one of us has been here. This place is beautiful. There is a large pasture on both sides of the dirt road, enclosed with a painted white fence. On one side there's about two dozen cows, and on the other side I see three beautiful horses. I look over at Karma and she seems to be mesmerized by our surroundings. I look away from her for a second when I feel her poking me in the side. She leans over and points in front of us and my jaw hangs open. In front us is a beautiful farm house and off to the right is another beautiful building which I'm guessing is the stables. I can't imagine what it would be like to grow up here.

 

I feel the car roll to a stop, and Reagan is out of the car first. I feel Karma scoot closer to me and as I look up I feel soft lips on mine. It was a chaste kiss, but it was still amazing. "I couldn't wait any longer to do that," Karma tells me as she leans in for another kiss. Before our lips meet, Sara is banging on the window telling us to get out. I walk around the car and up beside Karma, trailing a couple of steps behind Sara. I look up when I hear Sara's mom and she has Reagan wrapped up in a hug.

 

"Reagan it is so good to see you again sweetie," she tells her, looking like a proud parent. Reagan smiles and is cut off by Sara.

"Hey mom, it's good to see you too," Sara says dryly, patiently waiting for her mother's attention.

 

"Don't be jealous, you know your mom adores me," Reagan brags to all of us and I notice a smile so big on Sara's face that it reaches her eyes, and in this moment it is clear to me that Reagan is the one. Sara is still beaming when her mom reaches up to hug her.

 

"Hey honey. I missed you," Janet tells her daughter as she hugs her tight. 

 

"I missed you too mom." We continue on with the meet and greet, small talk and catch up, trading hugs.

 

"Well well well. Would you look at that? I guess they really do stack shit that high." I see a big smile break out on Sara's face and I turn around to see a guy approaching us from the stables, wearing a rather large shit-eating grin as she starts walking towards him. 

 

"Yeah they do. Come here you sorry sack of shit and give your baby sister a hug," Sara tells her brother Jeremy. Jeremy grins from ear to ear before he hugs his little sister. Well, she's not really little compared to him. She kinda towers over him, standing at least three inches taller. "How have you been?" she asks him, her southern accent really starting to become noticeable. He pulls away from her before replying.

 

"I'm ecstatic that you brought your better half with you," he answers as he walks up to greet Reagan, and again Sara is glowing. I don't remember if I have ever seen her this happy. Jeremy introduces himself to Karma, and greets me before walking to the car to grab our bags from the trunk. "Aaron and Robert will be here for supper," he calls back to us as we walk up to the front porch. We spend about twenty minutes in the living room, before Janet tells us to head upstairs and unpack. Sara and Reagan disappear into Sara's childhood bedroom, but not before Sara tells me and Karma that we would be staying in the room across the hall. Karma walks in before me and I quietly close the bedroom door, sneaking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist...kissing her neck. She lets a soft moan of approval.

 

"God I missed you Karms," I whisper as I continue to place soft kisses on her neck. She turns slowly in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down into a kiss. Before we could get carried away we're interrupted by banging on the door. Karma walks toward the door clearly frustrated.

 

"For the love of God can I just get five minutes alone with my girlfriend?" She asks swinging the door open to see Sara standing there in the hall.

 

"Not right now princess," she smirks at Karma and Karma narrows her eyes back at Sara. "C'mon, and I'll show you guys around." I can't help but laugh at Karma's reaction, but I also want to see all of this place that I can see. I'm hoping to get some good pictures that maybe I can share with Sara's parents, Andy and Janet. Karma and I follow behind Sara and Reagan walking toward the stables, and I still can't get over how great those two look together.

 

"You think we look that good?" I ask Karma as I slide my fingers between hers.

 

"Maybe. If you two could consistently keep your shit together you could come close, but you'll never look this good," Sara gloats clearly showing off for Reagan. We walk into the stables where Sara shows us around, telling us that we would go on a group ride tomorrow before dinner. We leave the stables and walk further away from the house towards a pretty large barn at the edge of the tree line. Sara slides a large door open and we all walk in. I see several large pieces of farm equipment, a pontoon boat, some jet skis, several four wheelers and dirt bikes, and now I really wish I would've grown up here surrounded by all this fun and freedom. I look up and see a large loft above us.

 

"What's that?" I ask pointing up towards the loft. 

 

"That's where the magic happens ladies," Jeremy answers before Sara, and she cuts her eyes at him. 

 

"That is where we store extra hay and feed," she responds, still clearly annoyed with Jeremy. Reagan, Karma, and I all give Sara mischievous looks as Reagan glances back up to the loft. "Fine, just be careful climbing up there. Sara scales the ladder first, followed by Reagan. 

 

"Karma are you sure about this? I know how you are with heights," I ask her but she is quick to shrug off my concerns.

 

"As long as you are right behind me, I'll be fine," she tells me before kissing my cheek and turning to start up the ladder. She gets a third of the way up when I look up to see Sara and Reagan both waiting for her at the top. I make it up behind Karma and quickly see what Jeremy is talking about. You could easily throw down some blankets on the square bales of hay and have a rather comfortable spot. I turn just in time to see Sara open a door, and as I walk over I'm speechless with the view I'm seeing. You can see most of the pasture from up here as well as a lake. 

 

"Jeremy was right, this would be a great spot for a little magic," Reagan comments as she slides her arms around Sara. "We should come up here at some point and watch a sunset Sara." Sara smiles and kisses Reagan's temple. 

 

"How about we take the four wheelers out for a spin before dinner?" Sara suggests as she walks back towards the ladder. It didn't take the four of us very long to get wrapped up in racing and chasing each other across the farm. About an hour into riding we come up on a small creek and waterfall and stop to take in our surroundings. Sara and I are parked next to each other, still sitting on the four wheelers while we watch Karma and Reagan exploring the creek.

 

"Can I ask you a personal question Amy?" Sara inquires as she nervously taps her fingers on the handlebars. I smile and nod, quickly looking back to Karma.

 

"Do you have any doubts that Karma is the one?" I smile and without hesitating I answer her honestly.

 

"No. Karma is the one person that I want to spend the rest of my life with," I reply and after a brief hesitation I ask Sara the same question. "Is Reagan the one?" I see a grin form slowly on her face and before I know it her smile has reached her eyes.

 

"Yeah, she is. I'm going to talk to my mom before we go back to Austin about it." Before I could say anything Reagan and Karma interrupt our little moment.

 

"You guys ready to head back. I don't want to be late for dinner," Reagan says as she climbs on her four wheeler. 

 

"Wanting to stay in your mother-in-law's good graces?" Karma asks as she climbs onto her four wheeler, completely oblivious to the conversation that just took place between Sara and I. Reagan is taken aback by the mother-in-law comment, but composes herself quickly.

 

"Janet absolutely adores me, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay on her good side." Sara just chuckles as she cranks her four wheeler and we all follow her lead back to the house. The time seemed to pass quickly since I was lost in my thoughts about spending the rest of my life with Karma. In no time at all, we all pull into the barn and park. Once again Reagan and Karma disappear off towards the house leaving Sara and I alone.

 

"You okay Amy?"

 

"Yeah, I was just thinking."

 

"About what?" Sara asks, as she closes the barn door and we walk off toward the house.

 

"Thinking about the conversation I'm going to have with my mom and dad about Karma when we get back to Austin."


	24. Chapter 24

“Hey Raudenfeld, what are you still doing here?” I look up from my stack of paperwork to see Dr. Chase Stevens leaning over the work station, and as I look over his shoulder I see Sara walking down the hall towards us.

I’m trying to get these charts finished so I don’t have to think about work until Tuesday. I want to be free and clear of this place for the next four days,” I tell him as I lean back in my chair, stretching my arms overhead.

“You ready to go Amy? Everyone is waiting on us at the house,” Sara says as she digs her keys out of her shoulder bag. When she looks back up she looks directly at Chase. “Thanks for covering this weekend Chase. We both owe you one.” I nod in agreement with Sara.

“Yeah we do. You’re a life-saver,” I tell him.

“Well I hate that I’m going to miss this one on stage,” Chase replies as he lightly punches Sara’s arm. “Don’t forget those autographs for me from Sam Hunt and since you scored backstage passes and meet and greets for my girlfriend and her sister I’d say we’re even.” The three of us are so caught up in our conversation we don’t see Dr. Robinson walk up.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to speak to you three before I left. It’s rare to get my three chief residents together for five minutes,” he says with a smile. “I’d like to meet with you three on Tuesday around lunch time. I’ll be around this weekend Chase if you have any issues here at the hospital.” Dr. Robinson turns to leave when Sara stops him.

“You don’t have any big, Labor Day weekend plans doc?” She asks as she breaks out her signature smirk.

“Nothing out of town Sara. My wife and I wouldn’t want to miss you performing with your band on Saturday,” he tells her. He gives her a wink and a smile then turns and walks away, leaving Sara speechless. I can’t help but laugh.

“Well this is a first. I’ve never seen you speechless Sara,” I tell her as Chase and I both laugh.

“Laugh it up you two. You’ve got five minutes Raudenfeld or I’m leaving your ass here,” she threatens before walking off. Chase looks at me and smiles.

“Go on. Get out of here Amy. I’ll take care of this,” he says pointing at the charts still left in front of me.

“Thanks Chase. Have a good weekend,” I reply as I follow after Sara, down the hallway to the physicians’ locker room. Fifteen minutes later we are climbing in her Jeep to head home for a four day weekend.

“Can you believe that it’s Labor Day weekend already? Where did the summer go?” I ask as I’m fastening my seatbelt.

“Well, we have stayed busy ever since we got back from Alabama. We started our last year of residency, we had Lauren’s wedding, then your ten year high school reunion, and I know that you’ve been working extra shifts at the hospital.”

“Well, you guys have been so busy getting ready for Saturday’s show that Karma hasn’t really had any time for me. I thought I’d keep myself busy by working extra shifts,” I answer as I watch the scenery pass by through the passenger window.

“I know it’s been crazy this summer, but did you ever talk to your parents about proposing to Karma?”

“Yeah, kind of. I mean my mom got me at Lauren’s wedding reception. She told me she expected me to propose to Karma and not wait forever to do it because she couldn’t wait to plan our wedding.”

“Really? Hmm…Can you imagine your mom and Molly planning a wedding together?” We are both dead silent before we make eye contact and burst out laughing.

“Oh my God. It’s going to be a total disaster,” I say laughing and Sara quickly changes the subject.

“Have you started ring shopping?” This question brings me back to reality.

“No. I don’t think it’s a good time right now. I’m busy with work and Karma is so focused on her music. I mean we really haven’t spent any time together since Lauren’s wedding. That was more than a month ago, and we can’t forget about the attitude I caught at the reunion.”

“You mean her losing her shit over that Sabrina chick?” Sara asks as she turns her Jeep onto our street.

“Yeah, and I don’t understand why. Sabrina hugged me then introduced me to her husband. That’s all that happened. You didn’t see me getting pissed at her when she hugged Felix and met his fiancé. She hasn’t made any effort to talk to me about it. She’s been spending all her time with Reagan and Noah writing and recording. I’m happy that Noah decided to stick around for awhile after the reunion, and I am so proud of Karma for working so hard, but she’s forgotten about me.”

“Well, let’s get through Saturday night.” I don’t reply to Sara as she pulls into the driveway. “I’ll make sure our rehearsal is quick so we can both get some quality time with our girls.” I nod, hop out of the Jeep, and I see Reagan coming down the porch to greet Sara. She walks up and kisses her girlfriend.   
I turn back toward the house hoping to get the same greeting from Karma, but she’s no where to be found. Reagan notices and quickly says, “She’s downstairs with Shane and Noah. They’re still going over the set list for Saturday.” I try to hide my hurt and disappointment, but I’m sure Reagan and Sara see right through me.

“I’m going to get a shower and go to bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I tell them before making my way into the house and up to my room. It was a long, thirty-six hour shift. I take a long, hot shower and climb into bed wondering if Karma even cares that I am home.

I wake up the next morning pinned under Karma while she’s trailing kisses down my neck. “Good morning,” she says between kisses.

“Mmmm…morning,” I sleepily reply. She continues kissing down my neck until she lightly bites on my collarbone. “ Jesus Karma,” I half moan, half speak.

“I thought this would be a good way to wake up,” she tells me as she sits up and pulls her shirt off.

“It’s a very good way to wake up,” I reply as I roll her onto her back, planning on enjoying every minute in bed with her this morning. A few hours later we are both showered, dressed, and headed to the kitchen to start the day. Sara and Reagan are both finishing up lunch.

“Hey you two. You ready to get everything packed up Karma?” Reagan asks as she moves across the kitchen to the refrigerator. “Rehearsal is at three today. Are you excited?” Reagan asks and she is grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah. I’m super excited and scared to death. I can’t believe we are opening for Brett Young and Sam Hunt,” Karma says as she snuggles into my side.

“I can’t believe Matthew’s engagement and wedding gift was giving Shane his own entertainment venue,” Sara replies as she sits down a tray of wraps on the island and we all dig in.

“Harvey’s does have a nice ring to it, and it’s really cool that you guys get to play there for the grand opening. Shane expects it to be a sell out since there is a home football game tomorrow afternoon and all those people will be out and about tomorrow night after the game,” I tell the three of them before devouring my chicken wrap.

“Yeah, there should be several producers and label executives there too. It’s a great opportunity,” Reagan says between bites of her lunch. I look over at Karma and see the anxiety in her eyes. I lean over and whisper to her that I think she will be amazing before kissing her cheek. She smiles and then begins clearing the island.

After lunch Kate and the guys in the band show up to get all the gear packed and over to Harvey’s. Once all the gear is packed and loaded, Reagan pulls me to her SUV. “You guys go ahead. I’ve got to run a quick errand, but Amy and I will meet you guys there.” We get in the SUV and get settled when Reagan speaks up. “We’re picking up a friend at the airport and I wanted you to meet him first.” I shrug and turn on the radio, still annoyed with the Jekyll-Hyde attitude I seem to still be getting from Karma.

“You know it’s going to make us late for rehearsal right?” I ask, clearly showing how annoyed I am.

“Yeah, but it will be worth it. Trust me,” Reagan reassures me giving me a wink. Thirty minutes later we’re waiting by the baggage claim area. I look up when I notice Reagan waving and see a tall, older man waving back. She wraps him up in a hug, and when she’s done greeting him she introduces us. “Joe, this is Amy. Amy, I’d like you to meet Old Man Joe.”

“Hi Joe. It’s nice to meet you,” I say shaking his hand. I don’t have much else to say. I’m not thrilled about anything Nashville coming to see Karma.

“It’s nice to meet you too Amy. Karma talked about you all the time back in Nashville.”

“Yeah,” I reply not wanting to talk about Karma and her time in Nashville. Joe obviously picks up on this and changes the subject.

“When Reagan called me and told me that Karma would be performing tomorrow night I couldn’t miss it. Is she ready?” He asks as he grabs his checked bag, and we head back towards the exit.

“She’s going to be amazing, and she’s going to be surprised to see you,” Reagan tells him and I see him smile at that admission. He clearly has a soft spot for Karma. It makes me happy to know that she will be surrounded by so many people that love and support her. I’m pulled from my thoughts when I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. When I check the screen I see that it is Karma calling.

“Uh oh,” I say, then show Reagan the phone. She laughed before replying.

“You better get that,” she tells me as we load up into her SUV. I smile before hesitantly hitting the accept button to answer the call.

“Hey Karma. What’s up?”

“Where the hell are you guys? We can’t get started until you get here,” she reminds me and she sounds like she’s about to break down.

“Honey, we are on the way,” I tell her trying to be reassuring. Reagan reaches over and jerks the phone away from me when she hears Karma yelling on the other end of the line. Joe is quietly laughing in the back seat.

“Karma. Please calm down. You don’t need to freak out. We will be there in about twenty minutes,” Regan says into the phone. All I could hear was garbled yelling from Karma. “You need to calm your ass down right now Karma or we will take the scenic route to Harvey’s,” Reagan replies sternly. Reagan pulls the phone away from her ear and looks at the display. She laughs as she hands the phone back to me.

“She hung up on you didn’t she?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. Reagan chuckles. “Yeah, you’ve always been good at pushing her buttons,” I tell her as Joe laughs out loud from the back seat.

“It’s good to see that she’s got her sass back,” he says light heartedly. I smile and shake my head.

“You have no idea,” I reply and all three of us are laughing.

Thirty minutes later the three of us are walking into Harvey’s. I enter first, followed by Reagan, then Joe. As soon as Karma sees me enter the auditorium she makes a bee line for me. “Amy, this isn’t funny. Where the hell did you guys go? I’m freaking out here and you guys are -,” Karma doesn’t finish because when she looks over my shoulder she becomes silent. She covers her mouth with both hands and her eyes fill up with tears.

“Relax Karma. We had to pick up an old friend,” Reagan tells her, grinning from ear to ear. Joe silently steps up to Karma and gently hugs her while speaking to her softly.

“Hey sweetie. It is so good to see you,” he tells her as they pull away.

“What are you doing here?” Karma asks him as tears continue to fall down her face.

“Well, I tried over and over to get you to sing at my place. So when I heard you were opening for Sam Hunt I knew I had to be here to see it,” Joe tells her.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Karma says as she wipes the tears from her cheeks. She turns to Reagan and immediately wraps her in a hug. “Thank you so much Reagan.”

“You’re welcome. C’mon, we’ve got work to do,” Reagan tells her as she walks away toward the sound booth.

“I’ll be right there,” Karma calls after her, and she steps up to give Joe another hug. “Thank you so much for being here.”

“You’re welcome Karma. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” he tells her. She looks over at me and smiles, then walks up to me and gently kisses my lips.

“You are amazing, and I am so in love with you,” she says as she hugs me tightly. Before I could say anything Sara calls from the stage.

“Karma! Bring your ass up here, we’ve got work to do.” I lean in and place a soft kiss on her lips.

“Go on rock star. I’ll be right here when you’re done.” Karma smiles, then hustles up on to the stage.

______________________________________________________________________

 

The sound of a neighbor’s lawn mower pulls me out of a peaceful sleep. I glance at the clock over Karma’s shoulder and see that it’s a few minutes before nine. I lay my head back down, and snuggle closer to Karma, spooning with her. Once I still, she begins to stir. When she settles on her back and her face turned toward me, I prop myself up on my elbow and look down at the sleeping auburn haired beauty. I can’t believe I got so lucky. I know that this is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Before I could get lost in my doubts about a future with Karma, she turns into me and I watch her eyes flutter open. “You are thinking way to hard this early in the morning. Care to share what’s got your mind in overdrive?” I reach out with the hand that’s not supporting my head and caress her cheek before leaning in for a chaste kiss.

“Good morning beautiful. I was just reminding myself how lucky I am to have you,” I tell her before giving her another kiss.

“What time is it?” She asks, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Almost nine,” I reply as I mov my hand from her cheek, then wrapping my arm around her waist. “You are going to be amazing tonight, and I am so proud of you.” Her eyes light up the room when she smiles.

“I am so incredibly lucky to have so many people that love and support me, and I am so lucky to have you. My best friend, my girlfriend, the love of my life, my soul mate,” she whispers as she pushes me over onto my back and rolls on top of me. “I love you Amy Raudenfeld,” she tells me. Before things could get heated, my stomach growling interrupts us. Karma giggles as she sits up and slides off the bed. “C’mon butt face, I’ll make breakfast,” she says reaching out to pull me out of bed.

After breakfast Karma and I clean up the kitchen, and then get ready to meet everyone at Harvey’s for the final sound check before tonight’s performance. Soundcheck went as planned, and before I knew it we were all headed back to the house to watch the Texas football season opener and enjoy tons of food. Watching everyone, all of our friends and family, move around our house and through the backyard, filled my heart with so much joy. It’s hard to believe that I am so lucky to have all these people in my life. My mom, my dad, my sister. All of my friends that have become my family and given me so much love and support are here and I couldn’t be happier. As my eyes roam across the kitchen they stop on my two favorite people, my mother and Karma. I stand quietly, leaning against the door frame, and watch the exchange between the two most important women in my life, and I am filled with a joy I’ve never felt before.

“It’s pretty amazing, huh?” I’m pulled from my thoughts by my dad Hank. I nod and we both stand there in silence for a few moments watching my mom and Karma. My dad puts his arm around my shoulders and starts to pull me away. “Come on. Let’s get out of here for a few minutes. I want to talk to you about something,” dad tells me as we make our way through the house and out the front door. A few minutes into our walk Hank starts talking.

“Amy. I hope you know how much I love you, and how proud I am of the woman that you’ve become. I know that I let you down so many times through the years, and I am so thankful that you’ve allowed me to be a part of your life. I am so lucky to be able to give you this,” he tells me as he pulls a small box out of his pocket and hands it to me. I hesitate for a moment before opening it, and when I do I see the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. It’s a white gold band, with a rather vintage setting and a beautiful diamond. “It was your great grandmother’s. Your great grandfather brought it home from Europe during the war. How he got it is beyond me, but it was the ring he gave my grandmother when he proposed to her. My grandmother gave it to my dad when he proposed to my mom.” My eyes snap up at the realization.

“Did you give this to mom when you proposed to her?” I as him as I fight back tears.

“Yes. I did, and your mother and I both want you to have it. We thought that you’d like to give it to Karma when you ask her to marry you.”

“How did…”

“Amy, this has been years in the making. Karma has been in the family since you were both five years old. I think it’s about time to make it official,” he says through a big smile. Before he could say anything else I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a hug.

“Thank you dad. This means everything to me,” I whisper to him.

“I love you Amy.”

“I love you too dad.”

“We should probably get back. It’s about time to head over to Harvey’s,” he says as we both pull back from the hug. “I’m sure Karma is looking for you too,” he tells me. A few minutes later my dad and I walk back into the kitchen, but I only see my mom.

“Hey sweetie. Karma’s out back with everyone.” I immediately walk over to my mom and hug her tight.

“Thanks mom.” We both notice Hank is standing next to us.

“Your father and I both agree Amy. It’s time to make Karma an official part of our family. And don’t you wait to long. I can’t wait for a wedding and grandchildren,” Farrah says before walking out of the kitchen, leaving me speechless, and my dad chuckling at my mother’s demands.

______________________________________________________________________

 

“Breathe Karma. You need to breathe,” I tell her as I try to help her avoid a panic attack.

“Aims I can’t. This. This. Oh my gosh, I can’t go out there. I can’t-,” I interrupt her rambling with a soft, chaste kiss. And then another kiss. I pull back and see Karma’s eyes flutter open. Her breathing seems to have evened out.

“Okay?” I ask her and she nods. “You are going to be wonderful,” I tell her before kissing her again and pulling her into a hug.

“Amy, let’s go. They’re on in ten,” Reagan calls out to me. I throw my hand up letting her know I heard her, and focus my attention back on Karma.

“You’re going to be phenomenal. I’ll see you when you’re done. I love you,” I remind her.

“I love you too Aims,” she tells me before one final, quick kiss.

Reagan and I walk out and make our way to the sound booth. Reagan will be working the boards for the thirty minute set. As she settles in I take notice of all the people. Shane was right. This place is sold out. I see my dad giving last minute instructions to his small crew of photographers and videographers. I continue scanning the crowd and find Shane with a very VIP looking group of men and women with Matthew right next to him. My eyes wander to the area between the sound booth and the stage, and I see all of our friends and family. Joe is seated at a table with some record executives from Nashville. Felix and his fiancé are sitting with Liam and Ashley. Lauren and Jonathan are sitting with Bruce and Heather. I keep scanning the area and I find my mom and Mark sitting with Molly, Lucas, Zen, and his girlfriend. I smiled at the sight and slid my hand in my pocket, to hold the small ring box my dad gave me earlier in the day. I decide that as soon as this show is over with tonight I’m going to propose to Karma. My thoughts of proposing are interrupted by a commotion down to my right. I find Sara’s brothers Aaron, Robert, and Jeremy smacking each other. I see Janet and Andy trailing behind them with two women that I think are married to Aaron and Robert.

“Hey Reagan look,” I say pointing out Sara’s family. She looks at me and smiles.

“Yeah, I know. I wanted to surprise her,” she tells me as she slides her headphones back on, and focuses her attention back on the equipment in front of her. I look all around me one more time, and I can’t believe that there are several hundred people here to watch Karma and the band perform.

At exactly 8pm the house lights go down, the stage lights go up, and Shane Harvey walks out to center stage. “Good evening. Welcome to the grand opening of Harvey’s. How’s everyone doing out there tonight?” The crowd speaks up a little bit. “I see a lot of burnt orange…hook em horns,” Shane yells into the microphone, throwing his hand up in the hook em hand signal. This time the crowd goes wild. The Longhorns won the season opener this afternoon, and everyone is in a good mood. When the crowd quiets Shane continues. “I’d like to take a few minutes and introduce our first act tonight.” As Shane says this, Karma, Sara, Kate, and the guys slowly trickle onto the stage with Noah joining them.

“I’ve known Karma Ashcroft for almost fifteen years. She is an amazing musician, woman, and friend. All of these people on the stage right now are local musicians. This is something I hope will become a tradition here at Harvey’s, allowing local musicians to get up on stage and share their talents with us. We are all in for a treat tonight. I’d like to thank everyone again for being a part of our grand opening tonight, and I hope everyone has a good time,” Shane finishes his welcome and introduction and as soon as he hands Karma the microphone, Kate hammers out the screaming guitar intro, the stage lights go crazy, and within seconds the place is like sitting front row of an 80’s glam metal stadium concert. The atmosphere and energy are indescribable. After the guitar intro, Karma sings the opening lyrics to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison, and by the time the chorus starts the entire place seems to be singing along with her. A few minutes later the song hits the final chord and the roar from the crowd is deafening.

“Is everyone having a good time?” Karma asks and the crowd goes wild again. In minutes Karma has won them over. “We’re going to switch it up a bit, but this next song will have another strong lead guitar. We’ve got to keep Kate happy over there,” Karma winks at Kate and I notice Sara pick up a guitar and the rest of the band gets ready for the next song. When Karma nods at Kate she begins the guitar intro to “Stay a Little Longer” by Brothers Osborne. Although the energy has changed a little bit, the crowd is still with Karma. I look over to Joe and the record executives and notice their faces, and it looks like they might be a little bored. The second song comes to an end and Karma introduces the third song.

“This song is one of our originals, and this is the first time we have performed it. It’s called “Used To” and we hope you like it. The band starts playing, and when Karma begins the lyrics of the first verse Reagan leans over to me.

“What do you think Amy?”

“She’s amazing. They’re all doing so well, but I don’t think the record label guys are impressed,” I nervously tell her.

“No worries Amy, they’re just getting warmed up,” Reagan reassures me as we both look back to the stage. The third song ends and I hear Shane over the microphone before I see him on stage.

“While we are switching things up I wanted to tell you that twelve years ago Karma, Noah, and I tried this and it didn’t work out so well.” I could hear laughter among the audience. “So heres to second chances,” Shane says as he takes his place on Karma’s right with Noah on her left. As soon as everyone is set, Sara starts playing the piano intro followed by Karma with the first verse. After a few bars Shane joins her. I know I might be biased, but this version of “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum is amazing. When the song finishes everyone is on their feet applauding the performance. I go to leave the sound booth as the house lights come on, but Reagan stops me.

“You can’t leave now, you’ll miss the best part.” I’m a little confused, and as I look to the stage I see some of the band exiting. A few seconds later the place goes dark, followed by strung tea lights and electric candles come on to lightly illuminate the entire venue. Before I can figure out what’s going on I hear Karma singing acapella. She’s singing “I’ll Always Love You.” By the time she sings the line “So I’ll go” the place is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Everyone is totally mesmerized, including me. When she begins the chorus, she is joined by Sara on piano and Kate on acoustic guitar, playing softly behind her. As the song progresses, Karma’s voice continues to get stronger. She gets a short break during the instrumental interlude.

When Karma begins the last verse, all eyes are on her, and her eyes are on me. This is hand’s down the best performance she’s ever given. As the song comes to an end, Karma hits the last note, and there is a deafening roar of applause. Everyone is on their feet. Karma acknowledges the crowd, soaks it all in for a few seconds, and then exits the stage with Sara and Kate.

Reagan quickly finishes up in the sound booth, and we both make or way backstage. As soon as I find Karma in the band’s dressing room I attack her with a hug. “Karms you were amazing. Wow, I’ve never seen you that good before. The crowd loved -,” Karma stopped my praise with a kiss.

“I love you Aims. I couldn’t have done it without you,” she tells me as she gives me another hug. Our moment is interrupted by Matthew.

“Karma, can I borrow you for a few minutes? There’s some gentlemen that want to meet you,” Matthew says.

“Yeah. I’ll be right there,” Karma tells him. She turns back to me and kisses my cheek. “I shouldn’t be long,” and she turns and walks away with Matthew.

Forty five minutes later I am still waiting for Karma. Everyone else had already left, but Sara and Reagan were waiting with me. I’m beginning to get annoyed, and I can tell that Sara and Reagan are ready to leave.

“What are you guys still doing here?” Shane asks us as he lingers in the doorway of the dressing room.

“We’re waiting on Karma,” I tell him and his face falls, clearly upset.

“Amy, Karma left with some Nashville producers thirty minutes ago.”


End file.
